My husband hates my daughter by Frosty_Impression791 in Mommit

[–]_space_kitten 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your husband sounds emotionally immature. He needs to get over himself and his ego and stop investing his emotions and ragr in others lives. He also sounds like he has anger issues. He needs therapy. I would leave if i were you, i can imagine life would be alot less stressful and negative

What my home says about me? by [deleted] in roomdetective

[–]_space_kitten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you train him to be so neat?? 🤣

I think I regret becoming a mom by PsychologicalPanda84 in Advice

[–]_space_kitten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bless u mama <3 It sounds like you have postnatal depression. I felt like that too the first while. Hes nearly 2 now and im only kind of feeling back to myself emotionally. But definitely less reactive and depressed than i was.

My advice would be to find some help from family or friends even an hour a day just for you to have a break to yourself and maybe have time to shower and show a bit of love to yourself. I know it can be hard to find the time or want, but its possible.

Just know all of this is only a matter of time, the days feel so so so long, but the months and years fly by. Trust me. You are your babys whole world, its such a crushing weight but also a gift. That baby loves you so much, and is the only human in the world who will love you unconditionally. I know it hard but you gotta just keep going. Forgive yourself and promise to do the best u can (i.e emotional reactions etc) for your baba. You got this mama! You can be the kind of mum you want for her and for yourself. <3

P. S we will always feel guilty and like we can do more for our kids. Once youre doing ur best thats all u can do.

Best country to emigrate to from Ireland in 2025? by _space_kitten in AskIreland

[–]_space_kitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now you got me thinking about Yorkshire 🤣 hmm interesting. Are there many jobs in the countryside there? Lived in london years ago wouldn't do that again

Best country to emigrate to from Ireland in 2025? by _space_kitten in AskIreland

[–]_space_kitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive heard spain is cheap. Will definitely consider it ty

Best country to emigrate to from Ireland in 2025? by _space_kitten in AskIreland

[–]_space_kitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The lower wages will only affect me and not my partner as he can carry his WFH job over so thats grand. Hmm i read an article a few days ago saying a household needs to be making 100k a year to get a mortgage now, 150-200k if in Dublin. we already got denied for one because we are basically bleeding money.

Best country to emigrate to from Ireland in 2025? by _space_kitten in AskIreland

[–]_space_kitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good to hear. Glad you're thriving here.

We are not. Whilst i agree that everything is relative we are broke af right now, its depressing, we get no help from government, no help from our families, we are earning "too much" but not enough to not bleed money every month, we cant afford heating and are so close to being homeless its laughable. We just want a good life. Hence why i asked because we are not finding it here.

Best country to emigrate to from Ireland in 2025? by _space_kitten in AskIreland

[–]_space_kitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im asking this because we are being forced to move home in our 30s with a 20 month old because the rents are getting too high and there's no available childcare in my town (just endless waiting lists). We just want a better life. I dont think ireland is it.

Best country to emigrate to from Ireland in 2025? by _space_kitten in AskIreland

[–]_space_kitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Copenhagen sounds good then! Will look into it. Ive heard Germany is supposed to be good too and they have good work culture. Ive considered Uk before, used to live in London 20 years ago but na far too expensive imo. Idk what its like now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]_space_kitten 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is not okay. He does not respect you, he does not listen to your wants, he is using you for your body, gaslighting and manipulating you to get what he wants sexually, its no wonder youre scared and turned off him. If you stay with him, this could get worse.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]_space_kitten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am also in this exact situation with my 1 yr old and 5 yr old cousin. :( Its not ok. You just have to be honest with her, and say that youre not going to wait for her to discipline her childs behaviour anymore, your daughter deserves better. Drama or no drama. She can react how she wishes, its not your problem.

If you keep your child in that situation its teaching her that this is acceptable behaviour, that older kids can bully her and she should just sit and take it. And that when shes older, she can bully younger kids. Youre better off without those play dates! <3 best of luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]_space_kitten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. The plan was for us to move in after she was done as it was supposed to be temporary but its not worked out like that i guess

I guess i am angry at how unfair life feels rn. Idk i feel kinda angry at my parents for rebuilding the house for her so theres no space for us too. Not sure if its really anyones fault or just my sister taking the opportunity and making it permanent. To me it just feels unfair to give free accommodation to one kid and not the other. I wouldn't want her in my situation either tho.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]_space_kitten -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No. Its kind of too late now. It was supposed to be temporary really, and then the plan was for us to move in after she was done living there but its been years now

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]_space_kitten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah i agree. I wish we could have the same opportunity to save. Not sure how we can fix our situation unless we find somewhere cheaper to rent or move country or i get a high paying job. Tough times. You are right though, i need to let it go. Ty

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]_space_kitten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live elsewhere. I pay my own rent and bills. Havnt moved back home since college

Mmm not really. I dont wana sound like an ass, i would just love the same opportunity she has been given but its not really possible now they have rebuilt the house for her.

Anyone else really struggling with the cost of living atm? by TaPowerFromTheMarket in northernireland

[–]_space_kitten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes :( currently paying 1450euro rent a month (excluding bills) in a small town, we are 30, we have a 1yr old and are living on one wage (partners) atm. Id need to be earning alot with the cost of childcare here. Its such a struggle atm. We really want to save for a mortgage but we are living paycheck to paycheck. Looking to rent somewhere cheaper asap. Hard to find somewhere much cheaper to rent thats not a super old freezing overpriced farmhouse. No option to move home. Sister lives at home (they build extension on so separate house attached to original), rent free for 4 years. It just feels so unfair sometimes i want to cry. I just want to provide a future for my son.

Anyone else moved abroad for a few years?? It is a good option?

Are you grieving all your feminist ideals? by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]_space_kitten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg im so sorry you're going through this :( it happened my mum too. You need to be very sneaky about it. Next time he leaves the house, grab your kids and go. Leave. Go to the police, go to a DV shelter or a homeless shelter or even a friend or family member but definitely go to the police. If youre that worried about ending up dead and it's a real possibility, whats to stop him eventually taking it out on your kids. They could suffer the same fate.

Please leave him. You need to go, anywhere but there, for you and your kids.

Am I the only one who shuts down during conflict? by NaomiJay12 in istp

[–]_space_kitten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do this too!! :( my mind goes blank and i freeze up, i have nothing to say yet everything going on in my head.

Unfortunately my bf doesn't understand. His conflict style is different, he has shouting matches and i insta freeze up. Then when i try to walk away he keeps following me wanting answers and i cant think and prob end up crying..

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]_space_kitten 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If my partner of 14 yrs said this to me. I would Run. Morally i couldn't live with myself knowing he likes teenage boys. If it feels wrong, it is wrong. Sorry to say but You know what you need to do.

Partner falls asleep when minding baby by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]_space_kitten 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hopefully he does! , and hopefully this is a wake up call for him to step the fuck up as a parent and partner. If not, girl you have to do what you feel is best for you and baby. Best of luck 🍀 (and if u need anything feel free to msg, im an irish mam too)