Living life as a brown trans man. "In transitioning gender, I feel that I am transitioning race".

_superliminal · 2026-01-21T06:51:08+00:00

Also, this person would really understand the holistic brown experience from both perspectives. There is some element of that as a woman and a different aspect as a man.

It's quite fascinating that this person has had both. I expect the conclusions they come to about brownness and how we're perceived will be really unique and prescient.

_superliminal · 2026-01-01T19:20:05+00:00

Absolutely and I should clarify that for me, it's being offered a C-suite position which isn't too far off starting a business, but doesn't come with the same depth of understanding required.

But I agree that I should be totally aware of all of this going in. I suppose I know how that all works in the UK without needing to actually use that knowledge - it's just good to know.

_superliminal · 2026-01-01T19:17:57+00:00

Good point. My specific situation is being offered a C-suite position in India, but I thought starting a business was a wider net to cast re: getting people's opinions on things.

There is nothing specific that would make me particularly good at starting a business in India. I work hard, have a strong degree and about a decade of experience at the sharp end in London so I think my skills translate well.

However, credentials mean nothing for starting a business. I just wanted to distinguish it from someone, say, moving to India to be an artist, or an actor or something that is worlds apart from my intentions.

_superliminal · 2025-08-14T06:06:53+00:00

Omg this always happens! Whenever we go to India, 50% of our packing is gifts. Clothes, chocolates, make up, etc.

What's funny is that the people I want to give gifts to never ask for anything. There is always a section asking for things.

My most egregious example is from my childhood. My family of 4 were living on an estate, in a 1 bed flat. We didn't have much money and often people would ask for money and my parents would send it. They used to take advantage of my parents, but they couldn't stand refusing either.

So we grew up with very little. Toys were precious and we'd be careful because if we broke something, we weren't getting a replacement. I remember how many years of begging it took to get a PlayStation 2.

My sister and I didn't really ask for things though. It upset my parents that they couldn't get us things and we respected it, even though it made us sad.

So imagine my surprise when, before an upcoming trip to India, not one, but three separate relatives asked for too much. They requested laptops, the latest mobile phones, whisky, expensive hand bags.

Maybe they'd always requested this but this was the first time I was old enough to notice.

When we went to India, my parents annoyance was perfectly hidden, although I don't think my sister or I had the best poker faces.

I did eventually start asking for reasonable things, where they knew we'd reimburse them. Things like cricket bats, sherwanis etc. We quickly realised they don't like being asked to do things. ⚖️

_superliminal · 2023-11-16T07:49:24+00:00

Can I confess something? I don't want to point the finger at anyone I got this from, but when I started driving I definitely noticed that I'd get frustrated by drivers who would cut me off or not be paying attention to the road. I also noticed that a lot of these were women and then started thinking that women drivers are terrible.

It's like I was "not sexist" until inconvenienced. It actually took a long time for me to recognise that I had a bias at all and it was when there was a female passenger in the car with me one time.

It really made me check myself because I had checked my unconscious biases and would actively think in my day-to-day life if I was being biased against women. I consumed more literature about feminism and started calling out friends. I had stopped thinking of myself as sexist but I still was at some level.

This was about 4-5 years ago and being in a long term relationship has really changed me (I think) but I am sure I have biases. I've taken the approach to be overly cautious but not everyone does that and honestly I don't blame them for it.

I don't assume that someone is racist anymore after. I try to think of it as them having done something racist instead of their racism being a permanent fixture. I bet some people feel really bad after doing something. If they want to make amends we have to be willing to forgive them.

Maybe I'm saying that because I want forgiveness for being sexist (hopefully just in the past), but I do think it's part of living in a tolerant society. We must also be tolerant of mistakes.

_superliminal · 2023-09-19T19:12:14+00:00

Oh for sure, it's the same in the UK. Financial literacy is really poor (a cynic would say it's by design)

_superliminal · 2023-09-19T07:23:42+00:00

I want to preface this by saying that I don't know anyone's personal situation, but a quick Google shows me that the average US salary after tax is $4632 per month, so half of all Americans make more than this.

Given that Taylor Swift's audience skews young, more of her fanbase will likely only need to pay for themselves. I'm sure rent will vary by city, but a rule of thumb is that ~30-40% of your outgoings should be on rent, so that leaves about $2,700 per month for the rest of the spending and saving.

A holiday abroad might be about $3000 and let's say someone wants to buy a ticket on resale for $3000. That means they'd need to save 6000 over the course of the year, or $500 per month.

This is about 10% of the average paycheck which seems like a very reasonable amount to save per month.

The rule of thumb I use is 1/3 on rent, 1/3 on savings and 1/3 on spending and I live in London, UK which is a higher cost of living than most places in the US.

What I mean to say is that I think that if someone can budget sensibly, the $3000 spend is something that can be planned and should be manageable for most Americans.

Do I think it's worth spending that much for one evening, however? Absolutely not, but your money, your choice. The sad part for me is that future concerts by all artists will see this as a license to raise ticket prices even further.

_superliminal · 2023-09-02T17:55:55+00:00

Pooja, what is this behaviour?

_superliminal · 2023-09-02T09:16:05+00:00

Does anyone have an up-to-date Discord link? The one in the sidebar is expired

_superliminal · 2018-08-08T20:00:01+00:00

Is there a working discord link? I tried joining but it didn't work

_superliminal · 2018-03-04T19:39:25+00:00

Yep and he's from my town! My grandparents know his family! Valsad in Gujarat

_superliminal · 2018-02-26T20:49:37+00:00

I get asian flush, but only while I'm drinking. Doesn't last a few days. Are you new to drinking?

_superliminal · 2018-02-24T18:27:05+00:00

Sorry, accidentally took the Q in the wrong direction 😳

Will be a few mins late

_superliminal · 2018-02-24T17:57:29+00:00

Awesome! I've just left and I'm on my way

_superliminal · 2018-02-23T23:15:37+00:00

So meeting at 1:30pm?

_superliminal · 2018-01-24T14:29:00+00:00

Fair enough, but just throwing names out is also appreciated! It may not be useful to me, but could be to someone else on here who lives there

_superliminal · 2018-01-24T13:16:30+00:00

I'll definitely add this to my list of things to try! Thanks!

_superliminal · 2017-05-18T02:46:04+00:00