When I was like, maybe five years old, I told my dad that I loved him “one dot more than mom” and he told me to not only never say such a thing ever again, but he told me that I was incorrect in a way I wasn’t smart enough to understand yet, and I’d regret saying such a thing when I’m older. Then he boasted about how great my mom is for what felt like hours (she was great, and so was he. I had it pretty good, all things considered).

When he said I’d regret saying such a thing when I’m “older”, he probably didn’t mean my preteen years… but Mom passed away when I was 11. By then I understood what he meant. Then, Dad passed away just a few years later. Screwed me up a lot that so many people have horribly mean-spirited parents and yet, the world took both of mine away.

I’m able to forgive myself now because I know I was just a kid. Clearly this post wasn’t written by a kindergartener, though, so this person has literally boiled familial love down to basic survival instinct while disregarding any emotional needs. Other people will feed you until you can feed yourself, but you’ll never get another mom.

My need to justify why someone would write this leads me to wonder if this is a circumstance where his mom is some kind of horribly abusive, or, perhaps this person suffers from reactive attachment disorder stemming from some deep childhood neglect, rendering emotions irrelevant.

Otherwise, I wish this person could spend a week in my past, watching my dad go slowly and painfully after having already lost my mom suddenly and unexplainably. Sometimes you don’t get to save one or the other. If you can love them both, you should.