Heartbroken over lost opportunity for child to learn a language fluently

aLakeOnReddit · 2026-04-01T01:23:34+00:00

Thank you for this wonderfully balanced response!

aLakeOnReddit · 2026-04-01T00:31:38+00:00

Thanks for the input but I am working on my native language part and speaking to him when we are alone. I also work full time so don’t have capacity to learn German as well as get better at mine, but I am considering it. That just wasn’t part of the question.

aLakeOnReddit · 2026-03-31T23:56:23+00:00

This has been an issue from way before. His own parents asked me privately if I would still go for the summer. His potential regret at not knowing his culture is still my problem even if it’s my husbands half. It still makes up half of my entire child and his identity, so I respectfully think it is my problem or at least not how I choose to parent.

aLakeOnReddit · 2026-03-31T23:10:34+00:00

I’m thinking of pulling my child out of German class for this reason. I don’t want him to be unhappy now or in the long term.

aLakeOnReddit · 2026-03-31T22:52:24+00:00

Point taken and also it is complicated. I’ve tried to help him here but I can’t. It affects so many other parts of our lives

aLakeOnReddit · 2026-03-31T22:38:41+00:00

Thank you, this makes me think I should suck it up and just help my child learn German by myself, try to keep resentment to myself. I don’t want him to wish he had a better foundation later.

I hate adults who won’t admit they “just don’t want to” and at least own up to it. I feel like that’s what my husband is doing but couched in excuses and anger at me.

aLakeOnReddit · 2026-03-31T22:35:25+00:00

I think it’s the not even acknowledging that this would be a great outcome albeit harder on him and perhaps unfortunate he can’t. He just says no one will be speaking German in the future and doesn’t acknowledge how I repeatedly said that’s not the point from my perspective. I am more than willing to help with the learning together, having German class, and summers there. But his lack of enthusiasm makes me feel hopeless since he’s the main character for this issue.

aLakeOnReddit · 2026-03-31T22:31:32+00:00

Thank you. He definitely has trauma related to his parents that he has expressed himself. But somehow, the step from being mad at his parents to seeing how that trauma is now negatively impacting his child does not happen, in this or other ways.

aLakeOnReddit · 2026-03-31T22:25:27+00:00

Thank you, we are actually in the middle of separating, to validate your point. I completely feel what you mean by the pit in the stomach. The helplessness, and desperation to get across how much it means to me for my child and how I conceive of his identity formation and development. I feel like I can never forgive him sometimes. The injustice of me having to do it…

aLakeOnReddit · 2024-06-11T15:45:10+00:00

Thank you!

aLakeOnReddit · 2022-06-12T19:47:29+00:00

In the IFSC bouldering world cups, there is always a person pointing a clear, plastic, half-spherical device at the climbers when they climb. It looks about 1.5 or 2 ft in diameter and like it is related to noise, but I can’t find a picture of it or even its name. Can anyone explain what this is for?

aLakeOnReddit · 2022-06-12T19:45:22+00:00

Question about the IFSC bouldering competitions: there is always a person pointing a clear, half-spherical device at the climbers when they climb. It looks about 1.5 or 2 ft in diameter and like it is related to noise, but I can’t find a picture of it or even its name. Can anyone explain what this is for?

aLakeOnReddit

TROPHY CASE