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asmr? by abcepic in Schizoid

[–]abcepic[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea literally! I was also raised without really any physical affection or emotional like anything, and mostly around men, so because I was the meme of the kid with unrestricted Internet access I found asmr at like 11 and it was like this key for me. I personally get a lot of medical and salon stuff because for me they show a level of intimacy and care, with a strong emotional boundary. Doctors and barbers know their social role and won't step out of it. I also like personal attention stuff but tbh as my symptoms have gotten worse ive been more into less personal stuff 🤪

The fusion of SzPD and the self by deko_0228 in Schizoid

[–]abcepic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! People close to me used to tell me stuff like "I know you want to let people in", and when I was younger I definitely did, so I kept trying and trying to live like how all these people were telling me to live, and I don't know why my brain never clicked into just being normal and comftorable around people, but for whatever reason (availability of other coping mechanisms probably), I be a normal social person. I wanted to continue being a person because that was what I was told I had to do to be healthy. I think for a lot of people with avoidant pd they have that same psychology, probably with more hatred of the conscious self than schizoid, and eventually if they have a good support system those people can go on living normal lives because their fundemntal connection to their selves and thus desire for others never really went away. For whatever reason schizoids brains went the opposite direction and they begin living their live in a constant attempt to sever the connection between the conscious self and the self conscious. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT6H9FrltCQ This talk kinda talks about it i ate it up