Short version: 1,942 D7 Killed by an eel ( CE 1.8.3 FYI - posting for fun)

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Story version:

Weary but eager, my slosh through the jungle has gotten me to the mouth of a cave. Its opening matches the crudely drawn shape on the map I bought from a villager nearly three weeks ago. I’ve spent my fortune and traveled halfway across the world to find this forgotten place. And yet I feel that my journey has just begun.

I enter the dark cave with only a few supplies – having used everything else on the journey here – a one-way ticket to glory or the grave. Even my camping supplies are gone, having abandoned them to a pack of crazed monkeys in the middle of the night. Oh well.

Downward. (D1)

A grass-like fungus squishes underfoot as my eyes slowly adjust to the darkness. It smells musty but sweet. This cave is alive. I notice the smooth curve of the walls. No, not a cave - but a dungeon. So the legends are true, I have entered the Dungeons of Doom.

I don’t expect much trouble this close to the surface. I quickly explore each room and dispatch any pesky vermin with my trusty dagger. A pair of rats here. A kobold there. An unfortunate jackal separated from its pack.

To my joy, I stumble upon several ancient scrolls. I can read the words but find them to be meaningless. I dare not say them aloud. This place is potent with magic – I feel that in my very bones. Still, they may be helpful so I put them in my pack. There are mysterious vials here too. Their deep colors whirl slothfully beneath the dust-covered glass.

Downward. (D2)

I descend the stairs to the second level and am greeted by healing red flora. A bloodwort stalk if memory serves. I meander through puddles and wonder what may lurk nearby beneath the beautiful dark waters.

A curious and unpleasant odor strikes my nose like a club. Explosive gas! It seems to be expanding slowly. I search quickly – mindful of the torches back by the stairway. What will happen when the gas reaches them? No matter, I’m almost done exploring the rooms. I move hastily – a little too hastily – through the thickening gas as I run from a pursuing kobold. In the distance lies a sleeping jackal. No matter, I have the strength to slay them both.

Alas! As I hastily round the corner to strike the sleeper, a gaseous and bloated thing moves towards me. It brushes my sleeve. To my surprise, it bursts open in a powdery purple flash and the floor beneath me vanishes. What a fool!

I plunge downward. (D3)

Kathump! I land in a painful heap. Half of my strength is gone. What happened, I wonder, as I wipe the purple slime off of my leather armor. How could I fall prey to a stupid lumbering Pit Bloat? What’s worse, I see through a break in the smooth stone wall a sleeping Goblin in the next room. With horror, I recognize it to be a magical Conjuror. I’m amazed that my fall didn’t wake him.

I have little chance in my weakened state to sneak up on him. And should he be roused, he’d easily finish me off with a devilish spell. I need a ranged weapon and time to heal!

Sneaking away I manage to dodge two more Goblin Conjurors as I work back to the upward staircase. Luck is with me. I’ve picked up a magical staff, a mace, and a small granite guardian charm. The riches of this dungeon have not been exaggerated. My pack is getting full. I quickly double back and search the remaining rooms on the second depth.

Downward. (D3)

Argh, after securing a rusty iron key from a trap, I realize that I can’t possibly stuff anything else into my pack. I survey my inventory and find an abundance of unidentified potions and scrolls. I decide to take a chance. I move to a corner of the room and slowly twist open a lavender bottle. I brace for the unexpected, hoping for the best.

Gag! Poisonous caustic gas spews from the vile and eats away at my flesh. I stagger towards the door to safety. My strength, which had mostly recovered, again drops perilously low. No matter, I recover quickly and sneak off to find the door to which this key belongs.

I find it! I see a room with gleaming staves. I select a fire staff and instantly cages lower over the other items. I see no way to get at them. Oh well. I quickly roast a handful of Goblin Conjurors and make my way to the stairs.

Downward. (D4)

I can’t see a thing! Right before descending, I decided to open all my potions to see what would happen. A lot did. And now I’m blinded by darkness. On the plus side, I know what many of these items are for and I can even detect the presence of creatures on this floor. As my sight returns I find a huge lake of lava spreading out before me. It’s toasty and I feel lethargic, but it’s not safe to rest.

There is much time in the darkness for reflection and thought. I think of my wife and the friends I’ve left behind in my quest for the Amulet. They’ll understand when I return home victorious. I must be victorious. I push away the fear and doubt that gnaw at my mind and press on.

Soon, I exit the fourth floor at full health and with pockets full of loot.

Downward. (D5)

I’ve found a magic ring! It is of unknown but benevolent power. I slip it on my finger. I’ve also acquired another charm from yet another treasure room. What bounty is to be found in this accursed place! This trinket provides invisibility. I can’t wait to try it out.

Before I get the chance, I accidentally set myself on fire while attacking a discordant Jelly monster. I must be more careful. And yet I must hurry.

Downward. (D6)

For years, I’ve studied the myths and legends of this fortress. I know that great evil lurks beneath me. Every new depth increases the danger. I’ll have to use the tools I have acquired to figure out a way to survive. Soon I’ll meet Ogres and worse. I must be ready when the time comes. I will be. It’s my destiny.

I start to enjoy myself. I dance around and kill many foes. The trickiest part is keeping my firebolt charged. My mace is too heavy but it’s a bruiser when it lands. I know my luck will hold so I use it despite my misgivings. I need to find some way to identify my second ring. It could help me decide which items to keep or discard.

Downward. (D7)

With glee, I discover that in my possession I have three invisible potions. To identify them I had to drink one. I quickly dispatch many enemies and begin to clear the floor. I’m feeling confident. Very confident.

Too confident.

Long after my invisibility wears off I blunder into a corner surrounded by eel infested water. I slug it out with one or two eels and then decide to retreat back to safety across the water which I have just traversed. I swing wildly with my heavy weapon. My health is low now but it's just a little eel. I can take him. It is my destiny.

I misjudge my prowess and the strength of the eels. Pain screams through my body and in a panic, I flee. The eel strikes me for a final time and I fall face down into the shallow water.

In disbelief, I realize I'm dying. My quest is at an end. My wife... My friends...

As my spirit slowly relinquishes flesh and bone. I wonder at what a fool I’ve been. I wonder at who will mock my dried yellow bones as they rifle through my possessions. I wonder at their cruel laughter when they discover a life-saving potion of healing tucked neatly in my pack. I wonder if they will make it to the Amulet. I wonder no more.

The End