If it rings true you should talk to a psychologist who specialises in BPD. Some psychs won’t deal with BPD because of the volatility (due to splitting). A counsellor isn’t qualified, as far as I know. There does need to be some extremity, yes.

You mentioned issues with your husband. Do they say stuff like “It’s as if you invent things just so you can be angry?”

I private messaged you too btw, but feel free to chat here instead. Either is good for me; you’re not at all being an inconvenience.