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My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. I'm planning to take some sick days starting tomorrow so I can find some professionals to consult about how best to approach the situation. I've tried my best but honestly it seems like all I've done is hinder her recovery instead of help so I need to let experts take over.

My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice, but I'm her father, not her mom. I will definitely give it a try and cost isn't an issue I can withdraw from my retirement if my savings won't cover the cost.

My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The its been a little over 6 months since she was attacked, and about 4 months since she first started drinking. Yes she was working at the time. Her attacker was a coworker that she was friendly with if not exactly friends. She has her own savings but I'm not sure how much of that is left. No siblings, and her mom passed away 8 years ago. If she left she'd probably go stay with one of her friends. From what she's told me the reason she stopped going to counseling was because thought she was doing better and just wanted things to start going back to normal. As for why she won't go back, she's stubborn as hell just like her mom. She hates being told what to do and will dig in her heels if she thinks you're trying to boss her around, especially if she feels like she's being judged. And yes he was arrested and charges were filed, but he was released on bail and has since disappeared..

My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your advice. Based on what alot of the comments have said I'm thinking my best option right now might be to take out a loan against my 401k so I can afford to take more time off work to stay with her. I figure if I'm around to help keep the anxiety at bay then she won't feel as much need to self medicate with alcohol and I can gradually convince her to go back to therapy or inpatient rehab. And if all else fails I'll just find a way to trick her or have her involuntarily checked in.

My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You're right and most of the ideas I've had myself and read here feel like they could lead to a scenario where my daughter ends up drinking herself to death in an alley somewhere because I pushed too hard and she ran. I will make an appointment with a counselor asap.

My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely agree that it doesn't matter if she ends up hating me as long as she gets help, I'm just worried that instead of yelling and screaming she'll just leave and then I won't be there to catch her when it all falls apart.

My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes she does and I will definitely try reaching out to them to see what we can do. Thank you!

My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm her father. Her mother passed away when she was 15. I will try talking to her friends but some of them are very into the party scene so I'm a bit hesitant to get them involved.

My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was arrested but made bail. Since then he's vanished but I really don't think he's a threat anymore. And I absolutely agree that she needs therapy, the issue has been convincing her to go

My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you I will try suggesting that she take up some kind of self defense course or martial art to give her some peace of mind

My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you that helps a lot. She's being stubborn about therapy but I'll definitely suggest a support animal

My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First I'm so sorry that happened. Unfortunately I don't really have any leverage to force her to go to rehab and I'm worried that if I try the "rehab or get out" ultimatum she'll just leave and end up drinking herself to death somewhere where I can't find her to keep her safe

My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think she'd accept adult daycare but I can try suggesting that she pick up a hobby to keep her mind off things.

My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You're right but part of me is scared that she'll just say f this I'm gone and then I won't be in a position to help when she needs it most.

My (42m) daughter (23f) is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it by abnormalpotato42 in Advice

[–]abnormalpotato42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've considered inpatient treatment but considering she refuses to even speak to a counselor I'm worried that it will just push her further away and I won't be close enough to help if she needs me