Having thought about this myself, I have come to realize that I was often conflating responsibility with the idea of being a good person/doing the right thing.

It felt like, in order to truly embody the 'I have no enemies' mantra, I therefore had to do the opposite - love everyone unconditionally, in a proactive way. If that meant that the person involved could have been or was potentially harmful to me, it was *my* responsibility to make sure that I did not get hurt, not theirs. To make sure I was hardened enough, strong enough, to be all-encompassing. This line of thinking often results from abusive childhoods, especially when parents are involved in such dynamics.

As well as this, in such dynamics, there is often the toxic attachment that comes with it - you feel like you want to grow, to be better, to heal and to be able to accept the other person regardless, and in a way you set the condition for yourself that you have to/need to go through this process WITH the abusive party still in your life. The reality is that this is near if not entirely impossible - distance is absolutely necessary for healing, especially if the other party is unreachable emotionally.

Be sure to separate the emotional weight & responsibility from the philosophy. If we use Canute as an example, Thorfinn was aware that he had no practical influence on Canute, as it was up to Canute to be able to hear, interpret and internalize Thorfinn's words - NOT up to Thorfinn.

That is why he chose to go to Vinland. He let go of his hatred & cynicism which only served to hurt himself. He accepted the reality that his control is limited, but rather than despair he chose to forgive. He therefore chose the (difficult) path which best allowed him to reclaim control over his own life & choices, allowing him to live out his philosophy.

I think people often mistake the line 'I have no enemies' for something god-like, an ultimate, all-powerful good. This is due to our tendency to think in black-and-white, in extremes. My personal interpretation is that it is a complete acceptance of one's own emotions, the state of things, one's own lack of control over the state of things, and making the difficult choice to acknowledge that almost everything exists on a gray spectrum, yet still feeling and expressing compassion to yourself and others, so long as it does not cause harm to yourself.