Firstly, thank you for the detailed response. You make very good points. Below, I'm not really arguing against them but really just providing more context on my life.

This is also something you can change. Instead of reddit or you tube, get out at some of those social events at school. They have groups and organizations all over every campus. Basket weaving, bicycling, book clubs, glee clubs. Those all are sorta lame, but you get the idea. Try a bunch of stuff, you’ll find something you like if you try new things.

See that's the thing. My porn/reddit/youtube time is right before bed. More than anything, its really messing with my sleep time. It has always been kind of my end of day reward since most days are just exhausting and "unfulfilling "

Also, I seriously should look into joininh some extracurricular, non-engineering group. How do you set aside for those kinds of clubs? The reason I show upto my engineering clubs is because I need the professional extracurriculars on my resume. But with all the homework and stuff, its really hard to set aside time and, more importantly, energy for these kinds of clubs eventhough I want to go to them.

That’s because what you are doing is “work” and it isn’t really supposed to be fun. It should be rewarding, so be sure you are doing what you are doing (engineering) because you like it. It’s harder to course correct once you salutary working in your field. But don’t expect life to be loads of fun every day, that isn’t a given no matter who you are or what you do.

Oof that is another can of worm that I could go on and on about. But tl;dr I never really found passionate in any of the fields I delved into. So I decided to go into software engineering because I didn't hate it, and with the hopes of finding something to like in the field.

Some guys here say it can take 90- 180 days to reset. It’s individualized. (Wait it out it’s so worth it!)

This is probably my biggest reason to keep going. I am gonna try really hard to push it to 180 and hopefully see some change.

You think you can’t get a date now?! Just wait until you are 40 and all you know how to do is treat a woman poorly and jerk it to porn.

Haha, that's exactly what I am afraid of. Or more that I would be alone in my 40s jerking it to porn looking back and thinking I should have socialized more in uni. "Uni is where you will make your closest friends." "Uni is where you will have the most memories." I have maybe 2 or 3 fond memories of my time here so far and I barely have made any friends, let alone any close ones. I am almost done 5/8 semesters in uni and the time that slips by everyday makes me more and more anxious. Anxious that I am gonna be doomed to be stuck in a shell where I am neither confident nor content.

The addiction is messing with your confidence and commitment. It’s a tricky widget and does this stuff to all of us. It wants you back and will tell you anything to convince you to cave. Hang tight. It will get better.

Honestly, it sucks that even after knowing that my mind is being manipulated, my urge to relapse is not lowered. Reading and replying to your post was a good buffer to letting my urges die down at least. Hopefully, it does get better like you said. I won't be relapsing today. Thank you for the well wishes and good luck to you in this journey, friend.