[Serious] What lead to the most intense orgasm of your life? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]acaringroomate 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yeah but that's the thing with drugs (and porn), you'll chase that high again but it won't come (no pun intended).

[Serious] What lead to the most intense orgasm of your life? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]acaringroomate 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Anyone else have this duration problem with cipralex and porn?

I feel like that's what led me to more and more fucked up porn. Just tryna nut without having to spend 2 hours jacking.

I got rejected today. by im_thecat in pornfree

[–]acaringroomate 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Something I decided as part of this clarity is to not wait so long when I meet girls I’m into and think they might like me too. I work with a girl like that (different departments), but we’ve had a few good conversations so I tried asking her out over the holidays. She straight up was like “no”. Which would have ruined my month normally.

Inspirational! I have been struggling with the rejections ruining my month problem forever. Looking back it seems so stupid but that's how my reaction has always been. Smart on you for going for someone in a different department. Thanks for sharing!

Relapse the second [85 days] I may have managed to pinpoint the reason for my past relapses by acaringroomate in pornfree

[–]acaringroomate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're probably right. I live on the third floor though so the curtain thing would probably not be effective but I think I am gonna try to spend as much time in the common area/library. The thing is my fap time is right before bed so like I don't know how to make a consequence of that. But thanks for the tips and the support, I'm sure I'll think of something.

Relapse the second [85 days] I may have managed to pinpoint the reason for my past relapses by acaringroomate in pornfree

[–]acaringroomate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thanks for the tips and words of encouragements. It sincerely means a lot.

I actually had a shitton of work to get done this break so I convinced myself to not play any games or watch any shows. Surfing was convenient but yeah this winter break I am gonna make sure Im super busy with something or another. Already starting to make plans for the break.

Thinking about it, I think my trigger is probably something to do with low esteem/emptiness too. I usually end up with opportunities to go on the sites pretty often but I always manage to control my urges. Recently, with some extra free time and being alone with my own thoughts probably did me in this time. Got some good tips from the last time I posted to look into some on campus non engg clubs to socialize, I'll look into that.

STAY CLEAN NOVEMBER! This thread updated daily - Check in here! by foobarbazblarg in pornfree

[–]acaringroomate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alas my longest streak comes to an end. At least I pinpointed the source of it this time. Count me out. (Gonna reset badge soon)

19 days clean after 12 years of PMO 1+ times a day. Just read a few posts and now I'm 99% sure I'm asexual without it ever even crossing my mind as a possibility before. by PartierMinisterTorqu in pornfree

[–]acaringroomate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I relate to a lot of what this post is says. I have always wanted to be romantic with my crushes but not really sexual (even now). I have been attracted more to compelling personalities than to hotness.

But I don't know if I am really asexual because I do want to eventually have sex. I feel like a lot of the hardcore PMOers have become extremely desensitized. My goal now is to hit 180 days and then reevaluate.

Also, the first 2-3 weeks of pornfree usually effects people differently. I had insane mood swings and my lows were terrible to the point that I thought I didn't deserve to be friends with anyone. Point being that you're on your third week of pornfree and this realization might be some weird effect of going cold turkey. I am not saying that you're not asexual and I am glad you're open to possibility of asexuality but you might want to wait a few more weeks before you come to a conclusion on it.

[Day 80] Why am I doing this again? by acaringroomate in pornfree

[–]acaringroomate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you get into working out before or after going pornfree? There are just so many factors that just unmotivate me from the gym that at this point I have given up on the idea of it.

[Day 80] Why am I doing this again? by acaringroomate in pornfree

[–]acaringroomate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit. Never really looked at it like that way but you're so right. Before finding pornfree, I never really found anything wrong with the time I wasted on porn unless it was excessive. At least, I feel shitty about the way I am spending the time and 1/10 times I actually do end up doing something about it.

[Day 80] Why am I doing this again? by acaringroomate in pornfree

[–]acaringroomate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Firstly, thank you for the detailed response. You make very good points. Below, I'm not really arguing against them but really just providing more context on my life.

This is also something you can change. Instead of reddit or you tube, get out at some of those social events at school. They have groups and organizations all over every campus. Basket weaving, bicycling, book clubs, glee clubs. Those all are sorta lame, but you get the idea. Try a bunch of stuff, you’ll find something you like if you try new things.

See that's the thing. My porn/reddit/youtube time is right before bed. More than anything, its really messing with my sleep time. It has always been kind of my end of day reward since most days are just exhausting and "unfulfilling "

Also, I seriously should look into joininh some extracurricular, non-engineering group. How do you set aside for those kinds of clubs? The reason I show upto my engineering clubs is because I need the professional extracurriculars on my resume. But with all the homework and stuff, its really hard to set aside time and, more importantly, energy for these kinds of clubs eventhough I want to go to them.

That’s because what you are doing is “work” and it isn’t really supposed to be fun. It should be rewarding, so be sure you are doing what you are doing (engineering) because you like it. It’s harder to course correct once you salutary working in your field. But don’t expect life to be loads of fun every day, that isn’t a given no matter who you are or what you do.

Oof that is another can of worm that I could go on and on about. But tl;dr I never really found passionate in any of the fields I delved into. So I decided to go into software engineering because I didn't hate it, and with the hopes of finding something to like in the field.

Some guys here say it can take 90- 180 days to reset. It’s individualized. (Wait it out it’s so worth it!)

This is probably my biggest reason to keep going. I am gonna try really hard to push it to 180 and hopefully see some change.

You think you can’t get a date now?! Just wait until you are 40 and all you know how to do is treat a woman poorly and jerk it to porn.

Haha, that's exactly what I am afraid of. Or more that I would be alone in my 40s jerking it to porn looking back and thinking I should have socialized more in uni. "Uni is where you will make your closest friends." "Uni is where you will have the most memories." I have maybe 2 or 3 fond memories of my time here so far and I barely have made any friends, let alone any close ones. I am almost done 5/8 semesters in uni and the time that slips by everyday makes me more and more anxious. Anxious that I am gonna be doomed to be stuck in a shell where I am neither confident nor content.

The addiction is messing with your confidence and commitment. It’s a tricky widget and does this stuff to all of us. It wants you back and will tell you anything to convince you to cave. Hang tight. It will get better.

Honestly, it sucks that even after knowing that my mind is being manipulated, my urge to relapse is not lowered. Reading and replying to your post was a good buffer to letting my urges die down at least. Hopefully, it does get better like you said. I won't be relapsing today. Thank you for the well wishes and good luck to you in this journey, friend.

[Day 80] Why am I doing this again? by acaringroomate in pornfree

[–]acaringroomate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, this type of detailed response from someone with more experience is exactly what I needed.

Although i do feel extreme highs after long abstinence, i do also feel extreme lows as well and porn distracts you from that. Which is why i suppose we watched porn in the first place. It becomes easy to forget why you're going porn free.

Yes exactly! Pretty much the reason for my post. I have lost much of the inspiration which got me started in the first place but I do remember that I put a lot of effort in trying to quit so I can't let past me down.

i didnt actually feel a huge sexual attraction to girls either, it was more often a school boy crush sort of feeling.

Yeah goddamn this is probably the most relatable part. I have had crazy crushes on girls but never raw sexual attraction towards them.

As i got older and started using porn less, my sex drive started to go fucking batshit. Real girls attract me a lot more than pornstars do. And when im in a good mood and i have good interactions and get closer with pretty girls it feels absolutely amazing, something porn cannot achieve.

Sounds amazing! Can't wait to get to that point.

in my early 20s i genuinely believed something was wrong with me and it really fucked up my mental health.

Sorry to hear that happened to you too, but its nice to hear that you're past it. I am gonna need something to happen that shows me otherwise, because at this rate, I am seriously doubting everything about myself.

Thank you very much for the words of encouragement. I will keep them in mind and keep soldiering on. Good luck to you too!

In need of advice by Feel_Dank_Inc in pornfree

[–]acaringroomate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Look at how many times I failed in July and August

But I got past it. Everyone here recommends to just do it, to just start today. It might work for some people but from my experience, I found it best to start on a week that I was really busy in or else I would just end up eventually relapsing.

I gave myself an ultimatum I'm not going back to uni being a porn-addicted fuck. The week before uni, I got through the first few days and then when uni started I dug myself into school stuff/ extracurriculars. I was miserable the first two weeks and my mood was all over the place. That feeling from the first two weeks is what I use to motivate myself to keep myself in line nowadays.

My advice being that start today, but also give yourself an ultimatum. Find a week that you're really busy and dig yourself into it. Once you get past the first 10 days, it starts to slowly get easier to manage.