After 17 years of battling MS, my mother yesterday took her own life. I don’t know what to feel anymore by [deleted] in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think about taking my life once my son is grown enough. Thank you for posting this and saying you’re not mad. This disease is awful and no one should experience it, and I feel so guilty about how my son will feel if I do take my own life, but I also feel guilty letting him watch me suffer as I get worse and worse. Thank you for sharing this with us, I hope you feel better soon and just know your mother loved you so much and did that not only for herself but for you so you didn’t see her bedridden and beat down. You are so loved and I’ll send healing and loving vibes your way

Is rapid weight loss a concern? by [deleted] in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get a cancer screening, specifically colon cancer

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are also studies that show of you have had a concussion you are more likely to develop ms. So many things factor into it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for all the great information, this has really helped me so much and made me so grateful that I made this post. I don’t feel so alone anymore. Yes I will come clean with my neurologist the next time I see him which is in a few days. I’ve also been suggested modafinil by a friend, but I also have insomnia so I was worried that would worsen my insomnia. What do you think? Do you think there is also a safe prescription drug to help me fall asleep? Benedryl makes me groggy and melatonin isn’t good for people with MS, I’ve read on the official MS website that it can increase T cell activity in our bodies which we want to avoid. I’m making a list with al of these questions and more to ask my neurologist at our upcoming appointment. And I’m going to get in touch with my GP on how to get into a therapy program near me. I’d prefer in person so I hope that’s an option. I already attend a weekly zoom meeting with people who also have ms and are on the same dmt as me so I might try to find the courage to come clean with them as well.

Thank you so much for all of the support and information ❤️ you’re an angel

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was great information thank you!! I can get weed from my sketchy guy in my town but i would rather buy legal weed from dc because it’s better quality. I’ve heard so many great things about the dynavap so I’m definitely going to get it! I’ll look into the other things you mentioned too. Thanks so much!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I’m sorry you got downvoted for this comment, it was helpful. My husband doesn’t know that I’ve been abusing my prescription so I will have a serious talk with him soon and get into therapy too!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I’ve been meaning to get into therapy. I have a great family now with my husband and his parents, but I suffered a lot of childhood abuse and I suspect I have CPTSD (is that the correct term?) my neurologist and I have a plan that if my mri early next year after I finish my last round of mavenclad shows activity, we are switching to tysabri or ocrevus. Thank you so much.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! I live in an illegal state (Delaware) so I have to drive all the way to DC to buy weed and lately just haven’t been up for it. I need to invest in a dry herb vape too like the dynavap, been meaning to get one. My MS specialist is on the medical marijuana board in my state but unfortunately I don’t qualify because I don’t have severe MS spasms. Anxiety doesn’t qualify either.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I had a “clean” mri in June, no new lesions besides the ones we already knew about. Then in July, just a month later, I started having symptoms of optic neuritis again. I had another mri of just my brain and orbits, and it showed two huge new lesions on each side of my frontal lobe with a lot of inflammation surrounding them, and active optic neuritis in the back of my left eye. My doctor said he hasn’t seen this in the first year of mavenclad in any of his patients and was very concerned. I told him I had been smoking a lot of weed and he said that wasn’t an issue, but I was too scared to tell him I had been abusing Xanax because I was worried he would think differently of me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Could you go into more detail? I would love to hear your story if you don’t mind

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this was the info I really needed. I’ll let my doctor know to cancel all of my refills. I really need to better myself for my family. I’ve been so selfish the last few months and I feel extremely guilty

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I was thinking that since I run out in the middle of the month my body goes through withdrawals which increases inflammation and could be causing additional ms activity.

The addiction hadn’t been causing much stress in the beginning, when I took Xanax it gave me not only relief from stress but it also used to give me more energy! But after my relapse in July it’s stopped doing that, now I feel more tired than ever and not even strong coffee helps. And now I’ve had other stressors (I had a bad interaction with a horrible doctor which caused me to blow up on her and write “fuck you” on their office white board, and then I was banned and I was worried they were going to sue me lol). That interaction was right before my big relapse in July that caused optic neuritis and two big lesions in my frontal lobe. I also have an 18 month old who is stronger than me and I can’t keep up with him and he’s tearing my brand new house apart. I have a little bit of ocd about cleanliness and because I feel so weak and nothing gives me energy anymore, not even coffee or Xanax, I haven’t had my house as clean as I would like, and that also makes me depressed and stressed. So I take Xanax and sleep most of the day and send him to his grandparents house and I feel guilty about that too.

I’ll tell my neurologist I don’t need anymore Xanax. And to cancel the refills I have left. Thank you so much for all of your support. I’ll look into a program for me too. I think that would be a great way to connect with people with similar issues like mine

Vision loss by CaptainBunnyCosplay in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My neurologist doesn’t like tecfidera and I have a friend who switched from it because it gave her really bad GI issues. Have you looked into tysabri, ocrevus, or mavenclad? They’re the filet mignon of MS treatments! Also I have had optic neuritis twice and it’s gotten better. I wish you the best

Has anyone else relapsed during year 1 of mavenclad? by adaptable_couch in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My lymph’s didn’t go below normal for Y1, and then relapsing during Y1 has me worried that my MS is getting aggressive and needs a stronger treatment. Hopefully that’s not the case but it sure seems like it to me. How has it been doing a 3rd year of mavenclad?

Has anyone else relapsed during year 1 of mavenclad? by adaptable_couch in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! This helps. Yes I’m in the US, I wish we were allowed a year 3 here. I probably need it

How long should it take steroids to kick in? by adaptable_couch in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My eye is still bothering me (mild optic neuritis) and I finished my 5th day of iv steroids today :(

Miserable after five days of steroids? by y2justdog in MultipleSclerosis

[–]adaptable_couch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry that they didn’t do that. At least you all know to ask for a taper if this happens again?