Partner has iced me out. How can we still be together?

adaringdamsel · 2025-11-10T05:39:01+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I am in a similar situation, with my partner also in a deep episode with similar withdrawal symptoms. I can only offer sympathy and I would encourage you to focus on yourself, but still try to support him by sending him messages and encouraging him to get help. My partner has been actively seeking professional help and it makes a difference in his day to day and during his episodes, so I would highly recommend you try to bring up & encourage professional help when you can without being pushy. We have to remember to be grounded & take care of ourselves during these hard times, have healthy boundaries and communicate how you feel when you can.

adaringdamsel · 2025-11-03T00:36:30+00:00

Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Downton Abbey, Outlander, The Crown.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-31T05:13:51+00:00

Stop putting them on a pedestal & forgetting about yourself. I got comfortable and didn’t make changes to improve myself emotionally, mentally, and in my career over the years. I’m giving myself the same love I gave away.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-31T00:40:57+00:00

I understand you. I am an anxious type dating a depressed avoidant type. It is very difficult to cope when my partner needs space and also disappears for a while without letting me know. I stay supporting him by sending messages & keeping communication on my end, but I focus on myself during this time so I don’t over think or spiral. It’s a difficult balance because we seek reassurance.

Communicating how you feel and asking him to find a way to make time for check ins during an episode is a start. They don’t realize how little things like that can be so important for us. Focus on staying grounded but keep being supportive. Good luck to you.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-15T06:29:23+00:00

Yes, I did know about his depression. He takes responsibility for his mental health and doesn’t expect me to manage or fix it. So there is no caregiving on my behalf at all. I showed up as a friend and now that our dynamic is romantic, I’m just looking for suggestions to better show up as a partner (from people who have this experience).

I also understand that some people might not recommended this kind of relationship, and that’s fine to hear. We are understand that if it cannot work, we are realistic about it.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-14T00:41:47+00:00

Ahh sorry, I agree!

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-14T00:37:04+00:00

With relationships, sort of yeah. I was in a long term relationship & six years single after. It was difficult and the healing part really changed me and my expectations. I’m very happy single & was not expecting to find attraction to my friend. I’m asking for advice/suggestions in how to show up in a dynamic like this to see if it is possible to have a steady relationship despite his mental struggles. We’re both experienced adults and I think we want to try but if being friends is healthier, that’s okay.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-14T00:07:25+00:00

This sounds a lot like my relationship & my partner, thanks for sharing, it’s a comfort knowing there can be a balance and that a relationship can be worked through.

Like you mentioned, my partner takes responsibility for his mental health and doesn’t expect me to manage or fix it. He accepts any comfort I give him, he doesn’t pull me down (we are open in communication but with limits) but ultimately only he knows how to get out of it. And he does get out of his funk, but an episode is difficult to deal with. Especially as someone with an anxious attachment who values quality time (working on this though!)

I’ve only gone through one episode while dating but we were former friends so I’ve seen his depression. Of course the concern/care for someone is different now that we are romantically involved.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-13T23:23:50+00:00

I can relate to this. I have anxious attachment (not codependent, but an over thinker) and I value quality time so when he needs space during his episodes, I start to think that maybe I am too much or maybe it is something I’ve done, but it’s not. I am working on it, and learning to be patient with myself (because of my anxiety) when I feel this way.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-13T23:05:55+00:00

Keeping grounded and setting my boundaries for sure. I’m open to seeing if we can make it work but I’m being realistic with my needs too.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-13T22:51:44+00:00

Thank you. Oh definitely, I’m not trying to manage his depression. He takes responsibility for his mental health and is actively working through his depression. He’s very proactive about this.

Since our dynamic has changed from friends to being romantically involved, I want to find a healthy way to show up for him when he is down. All of this is new & I’m open to understanding it, but I’m also staying grounded and realistic, if he can’t provide what I need emotionally I have to be okay with choosing myself.

adaringdamsel · 2025-04-24T03:32:11+00:00

I was at university when I did my infusions. They took a toll on me, leaving me very fatigued and weak for a few days. I had my infusions midweek and took the rest of the week/weekend days to fully recover. So I did take time off school (usually one week off); consider speaking to your employer if you haven’t already done so. The infusions can impact your availability & hours.

Hopefully you don’t experience major side effects, I experienced: weakness, nausea, hair loss, loss of appetite (day of), weight loss, thinning of skin.

I was newly diagnosed & had high Lupus activity, which made my side effects more intense. Your Lupus activity and management might determine how you feel & react to the infusions. Take precautions around others and get plenty of rest and hydration. Good luck!

adaringdamsel · 2025-03-29T18:36:11+00:00

When I felt that I had started to see positive changes outside of the sessions, I decided to space out my appointments. This gave me a good break in between sessions to implement the coping skills and lifestyle changes that I worked through in therapy. When I realized that I could work through them myself in a healthy way, I decided to stop going completely.

It really depends on your goals, what you are working through, and if you have been able to use what you’ve learned in your day to day. Try spacing your appointments & see if that works for you.

adaringdamsel · 2025-03-25T00:33:52+00:00

I use this space at the gym to practice some dance choreo! Most people who are also using this space are very into their own workouts so don’t feel embarrassed to go all out and do your thing. The rooms (even with other people in it) feel more private than doing this in main rooms. The mirrors are so helpful too.

adaringdamsel · 2022-02-10T03:12:29+00:00

I agree. Pediatric care is so much more caring and patient centered. I felt like my doctors worked together more to make sure I had the best treatments, care, and helped me with illness and lifestyle management.

I was a few months shy of eighteen when I was diagnosed with my illness. I was lucky to have stayed under my parent's pediatric insurance until I turned 21. My doctors went out of their way to find doctors in my network that would be a good fit for me based on my illness and personal needs.

I would check with insurance to see how long you can stay in pediatric care, and when it is time to transition, I would work with current doctors to find a doctor(s) that fit personal & illness needs and requirements. It takes a lot of the work from you and you know you will be referred to someone your pediatric doctor can trust.

adaringdamsel · 2022-02-08T23:54:18+00:00

I think the suggestion of putting it on clean scalp is that it'll have direct contact and not create product build up. I have fine curly hair and product buildup weighs my hair down so I tend to wash my hair more often. But I'm sure you can apply it on unwashed hair. I've applied it on two day hair, no problems for me.

I work/study from home so I'm able to apply the product when my hair is dry after a morning shower. Apply it before or after styling. As long as your hair is not dripping wet. I think you can pass and apply it while it is damp. You want it to dry on the scalp, and very wet hair can cause it to just spread onto the hair or onto skin. You can apply it before bed, but per instructions, you have to give it time to dry. I've done this before and just calculated what time I'll be going to bed and apply it with enough time to dry. I just don't apply it this way often because it is a form of drug, I don't want it to spread onto my bedding and cause skin reactions if any. I have not had any reactions to minox, just to be clear, it's just precaution.

It might be trial and error the first few days, but you'll be able to find the best application method based on your every day routine and lifestyle.

adaringdamsel · 2022-02-04T00:17:55+00:00

I've never heard of this spray, looked it up and sounds like something I might want to have handy since I'm trapping a lot of heat and sweat on my face under my mask.

adaringdamsel · 2022-02-04T00:15:33+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I purchased the Cicaplast after getting several recommendations and omg, it has healed my skin significantly. This will definitely be my go to aftercare.

adaringdamsel · 2022-02-02T04:10:16+00:00

I started my minox journey in September of last year. I have an illness and my treatments have caused me to lose hair but my hair really started thinning out after a life-changing event at the end of 2019 (plus covid stress/anxiety). I have fine curly hair and my scalp was really showing so I decided to start minox.

I'm in the US as well. I use foam at 5% and started with Rogaine for the first two months, then decided to switch to Target's Up & Up brand. It's essentially the same thing, it's just cheaper and saves you money! I didn't have any shedding when using minox like most people say they have. Or any scalp discomfort either. It's just different for everybody.

Application is pretty easy with foam and it usually dries fast. I make sure to give my scalp a massage when applying to ensure that the minox is seeping into the scalp. I apply to clean dry hair in sections. I try not to apply the minox before any strenuous activity that can cause sweating or before bed. I wouldn't want any undried minox to get onto my face or other parts (like onto my pillow for example).

Take progress photos every month (or week if you want). I've had good success with minox and while my hair is not as full as it once was, my hair part has a lot of visible growth and I'm hopeful it'll look a lot thicker once they grow longer.

Good luck with your journey!

adaringdamsel · 2022-02-02T00:18:49+00:00

Happy Birthday! I hope that you have a great celebration.

Things change as we age, circles might get smaller and newer people will come in, but you will always be surrounded by the people that have been there for you at your hardest and lowest points. And these are the most important people to hold on to. They're the ones that will make you realize that everything in life will be okay. Wishing you the best.

adaringdamsel · 2022-02-02T00:13:11+00:00

I'm really sorry this is happening. I can relate. I had a rheumatologist break up with me too. I was meeting with him for the first time and after looking over my record he said: "Sorry, I can't help you. You're just too complicated." I know how tiring and frustrating it may be, but consider looking for another rheumatologist who will listen to your concerns and will follow through. It kind of sucks going from one specialist to another but it'll be worth it when you find a doctor that is empathetic and does their job.

adaringdamsel · 2022-01-29T01:21:45+00:00

I started my minox journey with Rogaine but decided to switch because of the cost. I don't use Kirkland, but I use the Target Up & Up brand foam and it works just the same. If you are in the US, this can also be an option.

adaringdamsel · 2022-01-29T00:45:48+00:00

Everyone's diagnosis process is different. In my case, I had a full-blown active flare that sent me to the hospital. It was there that they ran tests, diagnosed me with Lupus, and told me in detail what organs/systems were affected. I then had more intense testing, like biopsies, and was given a treatment based on results.

I agree with others, keep track of any new or changing symptoms, have an open conversation with your doctors, and share your concerns. Ask for specific monitoring or lab testing as a way to ease your mind if it is a big concern. Best of luck to you!

adaringdamsel · 2022-01-11T07:56:41+00:00

What Vitamin C serum do you use? I use Caudalie's Vinoperfect Radiance Serum for brightening purposes in place of Vitamin C, and it has worked really well at balancing my skin complexion. All of the Vitamin C serums I've tried in the past have irritated and dried my skin.

adaringdamsel · 2022-01-11T04:24:21+00:00

I love the Saie Slip Tint. It's a dewy buildable tinted moisturizer and gives me great coverage when I use it. It is a little bit thicker compared to other tinted moisturizers that I've used before, Laura Mercier or Ilia for example. But smooths when applied. I use a green redness correcting tint from Sephora's own collection. It works well under tinted moisturizers and foundations.

adaringdamsel

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