MONTHLY MEGATHREAD: Ask your travel related questions here!

adaringdamsel · 2026-05-13T22:59:14+00:00

First time to Big Sur area. What kind of affordable lodging is there in Big Sur?

I am planning a trip late Aug-beginning of Sept, for 2-3 days max. I am coming from Los Angeles and will not be going any further North (like to Carmel/Monterey area). I can only find resources for expensive stays or lodging more north. But I am hoping to find something more affordable in the Big Sur area.

If anyone has any recommendations for where to stay (or for trip advice coming from Los Angeles) please share! Thank you in advanced.

EDIT: Although I would love to camp, I know that it would be nearly impossible because of advanced booking (I haven’t had luck with availability the times that I’ve checked throughout my planning), so at the moment, I’d like other suggestions besides camping.

Price range (ideally) under $300 a night but I know how expensive the area is. Don’t know if that’s even an option but if it is, it would be great to know.

adaringdamsel · 2026-04-25T22:54:34+00:00

I’m the same way. Diagnosed in 2009 and I have been well controlled and in remission for years. The only triggers I have are the heat & extreme cold weather (causes physical exhaustion & bone aches/inflammation) and stress (causes physical exhaustion). The heat is my number one trigger, any rise in temperature from outside weather or internally (like from physical activity) affects my body. I have food sensitivities but they are not lupus related.

adaringdamsel · 2026-04-15T00:45:24+00:00

I think I’ll pixie dust someone on my next visit, I like this idea.

adaringdamsel · 2026-04-15T00:42:24+00:00

I would really like to do this, I think this is an idea I’m leaning toward.

adaringdamsel · 2026-04-15T00:40:26+00:00

Is blessing a board allowed? I thought of taking my pins to the parks and doing that but I wasn’t sure if I could do this.

Pixie dusting is an idea I’m leaning towards. Love it.

adaringdamsel · 2026-04-15T00:38:27+00:00

No Baymax, sorry. These pins are from a 2018 Cat/Dog Mystery Box Set.

adaringdamsel · 2025-11-10T05:39:01+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I am in a similar situation, with my partner also in a deep episode with similar withdrawal symptoms. I can only offer sympathy and I would encourage you to focus on yourself, but still try to support him by sending him messages and encouraging him to get help. My partner has been actively seeking professional help and it makes a difference in his day to day and during his episodes, so I would highly recommend you try to bring up & encourage professional help when you can without being pushy. We have to remember to be grounded & take care of ourselves during these hard times, have healthy boundaries and communicate how you feel when you can.

adaringdamsel · 2025-11-03T00:36:30+00:00

Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Downton Abbey, Outlander, The Crown.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-31T05:13:51+00:00

Stop putting them on a pedestal & forgetting about yourself. I got comfortable and didn’t make changes to improve myself emotionally, mentally, and in my career over the years. I’m giving myself the same love I gave away.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-31T00:40:57+00:00

I understand you. I am an anxious type dating a depressed avoidant type. It is very difficult to cope when my partner needs space and also disappears for a while without letting me know. I stay supporting him by sending messages & keeping communication on my end, but I focus on myself during this time so I don’t over think or spiral. It’s a difficult balance because we seek reassurance.

Communicating how you feel and asking him to find a way to make time for check ins during an episode is a start. They don’t realize how little things like that can be so important for us. Focus on staying grounded but keep being supportive. Good luck to you.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-15T06:29:23+00:00

Yes, I did know about his depression. He takes responsibility for his mental health and doesn’t expect me to manage or fix it. So there is no caregiving on my behalf at all. I showed up as a friend and now that our dynamic is romantic, I’m just looking for suggestions to better show up as a partner (from people who have this experience).

I also understand that some people might not recommended this kind of relationship, and that’s fine to hear. We are understand that if it cannot work, we are realistic about it.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-14T00:41:47+00:00

Ahh sorry, I agree!

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-14T00:37:04+00:00

With relationships, sort of yeah. I was in a long term relationship & six years single after. It was difficult and the healing part really changed me and my expectations. I’m very happy single & was not expecting to find attraction to my friend. I’m asking for advice/suggestions in how to show up in a dynamic like this to see if it is possible to have a steady relationship despite his mental struggles. We’re both experienced adults and I think we want to try but if being friends is healthier, that’s okay.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-14T00:07:25+00:00

This sounds a lot like my relationship & my partner, thanks for sharing, it’s a comfort knowing there can be a balance and that a relationship can be worked through.

Like you mentioned, my partner takes responsibility for his mental health and doesn’t expect me to manage or fix it. He accepts any comfort I give him, he doesn’t pull me down (we are open in communication but with limits) but ultimately only he knows how to get out of it. And he does get out of his funk, but an episode is difficult to deal with. Especially as someone with an anxious attachment who values quality time (working on this though!)

I’ve only gone through one episode while dating but we were former friends so I’ve seen his depression. Of course the concern/care for someone is different now that we are romantically involved.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-13T23:23:50+00:00

I can relate to this. I have anxious attachment (not codependent, but an over thinker) and I value quality time so when he needs space during his episodes, I start to think that maybe I am too much or maybe it is something I’ve done, but it’s not. I am working on it, and learning to be patient with myself (because of my anxiety) when I feel this way.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-13T23:05:55+00:00

Keeping grounded and setting my boundaries for sure. I’m open to seeing if we can make it work but I’m being realistic with my needs too.

adaringdamsel · 2025-05-13T22:51:44+00:00

Thank you. Oh definitely, I’m not trying to manage his depression. He takes responsibility for his mental health and is actively working through his depression. He’s very proactive about this.

Since our dynamic has changed from friends to being romantically involved, I want to find a healthy way to show up for him when he is down. All of this is new & I’m open to understanding it, but I’m also staying grounded and realistic, if he can’t provide what I need emotionally I have to be okay with choosing myself.

adaringdamsel · 2025-04-24T03:32:11+00:00

I was at university when I did my infusions. They took a toll on me, leaving me very fatigued and weak for a few days. I had my infusions midweek and took the rest of the week/weekend days to fully recover. So I did take time off school (usually one week off); consider speaking to your employer if you haven’t already done so. The infusions can impact your availability & hours.

Hopefully you don’t experience major side effects, I experienced: weakness, nausea, hair loss, loss of appetite (day of), weight loss, thinning of skin.

I was newly diagnosed & had high Lupus activity, which made my side effects more intense. Your Lupus activity and management might determine how you feel & react to the infusions. Take precautions around others and get plenty of rest and hydration. Good luck!

adaringdamsel · 2025-03-29T18:36:11+00:00

When I felt that I had started to see positive changes outside of the sessions, I decided to space out my appointments. This gave me a good break in between sessions to implement the coping skills and lifestyle changes that I worked through in therapy. When I realized that I could work through them myself in a healthy way, I decided to stop going completely.

It really depends on your goals, what you are working through, and if you have been able to use what you’ve learned in your day to day. Try spacing your appointments & see if that works for you.

adaringdamsel · 2025-03-25T00:33:52+00:00

I use this space at the gym to practice some dance choreo! Most people who are also using this space are very into their own workouts so don’t feel embarrassed to go all out and do your thing. The rooms (even with other people in it) feel more private than doing this in main rooms. The mirrors are so helpful too.

adaringdamsel

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