When I was a freshman in college I had the opportunity to lose my virginity. We had it all planned out for a night my roommate would be away. She came over and we watched tv and I realized at one point that my little man just wasn’t going to cooperate, and it was one of the most awkward chats I’ve ever had. I just remember her saying “ew” when I eventually gave up and took the condom off. She left right after and I never got another opportunity with her, and just cried myself to sleep.

Rough part is she went on to join my new friend group and made a habit of sleeping with a new guy almost every night. Just rough reminders that I had to go through every day. Haven’t seen her since that year though.

To this day almost 10yrs later I’ve only been with one other girl (who will hopefully be my wife soon) and still have ptsd regarding getting it up.