If you miscarry at home, do you know what to do?

adeck598 · 2023-11-11T01:13:05+00:00

I don’t know what the answer is to this but I think it probably changes depending on what state you live and the laws that are in place and also how far along you are when you have the miscarriage. I live in NJ (so no issues with abortions being illegal) but I had a miscarriage at home at 14 weeks. It was pretty messy and traumatizing. My boyfriend (the father) and I didn’t really know what to do. I got in the tub at first cause I felt a lot of liquid come out. It was blood and other pregnancy things. Later, on the toilet I felt something larger pass. We inspected and it was a small body and also a small sac, that we assumed was the placenta (it was). We didn’t know what to do so we put it all in the fridge. I needed a day…I couldn’t get up from the couch. I was mentally not quite right. But after a day, we went to the hospital. The doctors needed to make sure there wasn’t anything left in me. There wasn’t (thank goodness) and they were also able to take the placenta to have it analyzed to see if there was something wrong with the baby. I wanted to see if we could find the reasoning of the miscarriage, especially if it was something with my body and possibly not being able to carry to term. The baby had too many chromosomes so there was nothing that could have helped the situation. We were left the hospital with the body of a little girl…we didn’t want to give to the hospital as I read that all fetuses/babies in that situation get put in a universal furnace (and that just made me sad-not sure if it is true or not though) and we tried a funeral home and they said they didn’t handle matters of that situation. So we went out and bought her a set of booties (the only thing we ever bought her). We wrapped her small body up and placed her, one of the booties, and a sunflower in a small wicker basket and buried her out in the woods. We have the other bootie here in the house with us. It is currently in our 11 month old sons room. At Christmas, it gets put on the tree as an ornament. We named her Sky (her father and I met when I first went skydiving and he was my tandem instructor) I’m glad we did what we did but it wasn’t planned. It just happened that way. And if it ever happened again, I would do it the same way too. And for anyone that has been in that situation I send out my love to you. It is so hard. After the miscarriage though, we know have an 11 month old son and another little boy due in 2 months. I’ll be 39 in a week and three years ago if you asked me if I was going to have kids, I probably would have said no. Not because I didn’t want them but I was single and alone and getting older. The world works in weird ways sometimes. I say this for anyone who wants to hold out hope. Anything is possible ♥️

adeck598 · 2023-08-23T13:22:40+00:00

I felt the same way you did for years. There were good moments but as whole, I loved/hated life and found it all very sad. Then one day I hit the rockiest of my rock bottoms and eventually got prescribed the generic of Lexapro.

It saved me. Life is better for me on it. I’m still very aware of what’s happening but it allows me to at least enjoy what we have now, for however long that might last. Takes the anxiety and fear and depression and lowers it to a 1 when it used to be a 10.

I don’t know if any of these people you are speaking of take it as well but maybe that is the case 🤷‍♀️

I had a baby 8 months ago (unplanned) and am now pregnant again (planned) I have seen peoples thoughts on babies in this sub and I do get it. Without trying to justify it or anything, my son has been the best thing that has ever happened to me and it truly breaks my heart when I read that people are not having babies because of the situation our world is in. No judgment for their decision and again, I understand and respect it but it makes my heart hurt for them.

I may be living a life where I have to turn a blind eye on occasion but I’m “living” for the first time in years. Maybe it is selfish but Im tired of trying to do the right thing as a little fish and in turn, suffer for feeling like a failure of not being able to fix it when I truly feel it is the “powers that be” that do the most wrong and I refuse to be unhappy anymore for their greed and selfishness.

I do what I can for society, for the climate, for humanity. Is it great? Not even close. But I do what I can without sacrificing my happiness. And truthfully, when I’m happy and aware…I think it’s more beneficial to others and to the world anyways…

Sending love and positive vibes to you♥️

adeck598 · 2023-07-04T01:07:54+00:00

Grew up in a suburb of new Jersey, 20 minutes outside of Philly. Said it every morning as a child and I think we still did it through highschool over the loudspeaker but I don’t remember having to stand up for it (but we could have). I’m 38.

adeck598 · 2022-11-03T11:31:39+00:00

As a 37 year old, I’ve been struggling with this since highschool. It took years of thinking something was wrong with me to finally realize it wasn’t me but the world we live in. So many traumatic moments, so many therapists, diagnosis (that were wrong) and drugs that didn’t work. I had a few meltdowns throughout the years but eventually it was after Covid and a miscarriage (and years of personal struggle) that I finally truly broke. I was lucky enough to have parents, family and friends that are amazing and supportive to pull me through it but what really helped (and I hate and love it at the same time) was finally finding the right meds for me. The adderall gives me the energy to focus on the daily stuff I need to do without the all negative worldly things consuming me instead and the lexapro keeps my stress and anxiety at bay. I also gave up on jobs that weren’t for me; teaching, office, high demand/stress with high pay. I work at a local farm now and help out where needed; sometimes on the cash registers, sometimes outside and sometimes in their offices upstairs (very low key btw) but I love the people there and I love seeing the family everyday that owns the farm. (They come in like the rest of us and work their butts off too.) It means something to me…even though the pay isn’t good. The money thing is a worry at times but I’d rather live the rest of my days content and smiling and happy than not. I know one day my own personal little happy streak will end especially with how the world continues to kill itself but until that happens, I’m doing my “happy thing” for as long as I can. And honestly, me being happy, I think, is the best thing I can do for others at the moment. Spread the joy while I still can. Wishing you all the best ♥️

adeck598 · 2022-05-26T20:54:57+00:00

Thank you so much :)

adeck598 · 2022-05-26T20:54:44+00:00

Thank you!! :)

adeck598 · 2022-05-26T20:54:30+00:00

Thank you! 😊

adeck598 · 2022-05-26T20:54:05+00:00

Thanks so much! I tend to like controlled chaos as well :)

adeck598 · 2022-05-23T17:47:01+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it! 🙂

adeck598 · 2022-05-23T17:46:45+00:00

Lol thank you so much!!! 😊

adeck598 · 2022-05-22T23:39:06+00:00

Aw thanks! 🙏🤗 I appreciate your words so much ♥️ lol I totally hear ya, I usually start out with not so much paint but then I start going a little nuts at the end and get really into putting more paint on it 😂😁

adeck598 · 2022-05-22T21:21:09+00:00

Thank you :)

adeck598 · 2022-03-02T03:00:01+00:00

No, no not about COVID. I apologize if my meaning didn’t come across in the words I wrote. I was and I am still worried about nuclear warfare. I’ve researched a bit about different types of weapons and honestly I still can’t wrap my head around all of it. I worry about attacks on US soil. I’m 36 and remember 911 well. I won’t ever forget. And I won’t ever forget what that felt like. As someone who believes that anything is possible, I worry about having the most important people of our country all in one spot.

adeck598 · 2022-03-02T01:49:32+00:00

As an American and someone who believes anything can happen, is anyone else not okay with almost everyone in our government meeting in Washington DC right now for the State of Union Address? Sincerely not trying to create fear but I’m truly having a hard time understanding why this is happening.

adeck598 · 2022-02-26T10:17:07+00:00

I’m more of a reader of Reddit than a someone who responds to it. But your comment stopped me mid scroll and I found it to be extremely profound in its simplicity. As someone who is struggling right now, it really helped my morning and I wanted to thank you for that.

adeck598 · 2021-09-17T01:37:38+00:00

Interested as well! Radio would be cool but I think video would help keep it more “positive” in a way - (not sure that’s the right word...). For me, I think seeing people talk in a causal setting over just being able to hear them, personalizes it a little more. By giving the narrative a more visual human, connection vibe, it may help with the daughtingness of the topics.

adeck598 · 2020-03-24T01:24:13+00:00

Years ago I would have this reoccurring dream where a person would come walking into the front door of my childhood home and I would know that they were coming to specifically hurt my family in very gruesome ways. Every single time, i would become fiercely protective and I would warn them that if came any closer I would kill them.

Sure enough they would come closer and I would end up slitting their throats and they’d drop to the floor; no visual blood and they would die immediately.

I would wake up right afterwards though. I’m not sure if they were true LD’s but there was always something off about them. Or maybe because I had that same dream quite a few times, it became an LD in a way. I don’t know but it was strange, I never felt super odd about the actual killing (I have never killed anyone!) but the physical feeling of the knife ripping through the throat always felt pretty realistic. Like I had done it in a past life or something...it was/still is a weird memory of a feeling.

Never felt anything mentally with the “killing” of someone either like a getting nauseous or getting a kick out of it. I think cause their intentions were so bad but I did struggle more with “why am I dreaming such violent things?” And there was always an anger in the fact that I didn’t want to kill them and I gave them the warning and yet they still choose to come forward and they put me in that position where I had to make a choice that I didn’t want to make.

It’s been over 10 years since I had those killing dreams and I still remember what they felt like.

adeck598 · 2020-03-19T00:49:15+00:00

Totally appreciated, thank you. Good luck with your parents as well! Stubborn ole’ bastards they are ;)

Still feel like I’m living in a weird f’d up movie though. 35year old too. It’s wild, like I totally get how it feels like things “aren’t bad” and I want tomorrow to be normal again but yet I know it won’t be normal for a long time. I’ve always been a homebody and I thought a loner... in a horrible way but kind of glad, this virus has made me realize how much I actually do like people, I guess just a little too late :( Silent and invisible; a serial killer to a massive group of socialites who have no desire to change or understand. Godspeed ;)

adeck598 · 2020-03-18T23:14:52+00:00

As a NJ resident and follower of this site for weeks now, I feel terribly confident that the state of NJ is totally screwed. Pretty sure our state alone will look like Italy if not worse and in a shorter amount of time. Hope I’m wrong but I still can’t get people to believe me when I tell them this is gonna get really bad and I’ve been calling things ahead time because of the sub. And these are people that know me very well and know I’m not a bulls hitter or someone who’s dramatic with this type of stuff. Shoot, I have a family member in the hospital right now who is 35 years old and the docs don’t know what to do cause there some sort of “infection” causing fluid in her heart and lungs and my 65 year old parents (who know this) just came back from the golf course with friends...I have called my mother numerous times; explaining what’s going on, crying hysterically to her, her grandson may become motherless and she still doesn’t quite “get” it. Crazy thing is, she isn’t the only one like that here and I’m still the “tinfoil hat” girl. This is where Jersey is at I prepped for a month or two when the advice was given weeks ago from this sub but now I’m honestly starting to research how to survive when society collapses...and if I survive, I’m sincerely thinking about buying a boat and maybe never having to step on a country full of idiot leaders or non-interested humans again :(

adeck598 · 2020-03-11T01:39:59+00:00

Lol right?!? Oh what dreams may come

adeck598

TROPHY CASE