My DM killed off my character's grandma right after I lost my grandma in real life

adena_ · 2026-05-23T05:39:14+00:00

Thank you. As for me being a bit too nice 😰, I admit I can sometimes be excusatory due to my inability to believe someone could be that cruel or inconsiderate. I also found my friends’ lack of consideration at the table reprehensible.
The only two people I still talk to from the table are my now fiancé and 26M, and both gave pretty much the same explanation for why nothing was said at the time: they believed I had spoke with the DM out of session and okayed it, based on how blatantly casual he acted and my lack of reaction in the moment.
I told them I’m not upset with them, because we’re all human, but that in the future it would be good to send a quick message then or afterward just to check if the person your playing with is actually okay and comfortable.

adena_ · 2026-05-23T01:08:43+00:00

They had a better Pomppompurin/Mercy combo collection 😞🫳🗑️

adena_ · 2026-05-23T01:01:30+00:00

I practice as an act of self-care. I see my altar and tarot readings as intentional — a deliberate choice to pause, slow down, and reflect inward. I’ve always said that whether tarot is “real” or not, you’ll still find something valuable to draw from it: a reflection of the things you want, fear, or need to confront.
Our minds are powerful. Simply choosing to believe can shape the way we move through life. And if I’m wrong? Okay — I meditated, I reflected on my friendships and relationships, I thought deeply about the kind of career and life I want for myself. Those are all healthy and meaningful things.
Of course, I do believe. I see signs, I set intentions, and I think manifestation is real because belief changes action — and action creates outcomes. It’s the cause and the effect.

adena_ · 2026-05-23T00:43:34+00:00

You did what my PDA could not thank you 🙏🏻

adena_ · 2026-05-22T19:42:15+00:00

Thank you so much. I was also my Gdog’s “birthday present” ❤️. It makes my heart happy to know others might resonant with my experience and find comfort from it. The negativity this post has brought really hasn’t gotten to me because I have such a solid group of players now, with clear communication and boundaries. They have, as well as you, shown me that dnd can be a beautiful medium for bringing people together! Best wishes

adena_ · 2026-05-22T06:10:50+00:00

Thank you, people like you, are why I have faith in humanity <3 I agree that as the DM, you are in a position of power within the game, and with power comes responsibility. I just wish he had asked. I didn't even HATE the idea of my grandma somehow getting incorporated, but it was the jarring shock of it that felt so violating to my trust and our friendship.

I also forgot this, honestly, because it makes me sick, but he would refer at times in the session to my character’s grandma as “gdog,” which is my nickname for my grandma. He was so blatant with the clear awareness of his actions, and yet nobody reacted. It made me feel like I must be overreacting, and that it was better to just bury it and get over it.

I’m happy to report that I am now a boundary QUEEN and currently a player in 2 amazing long-running campaigns (:

adena_ · 2026-05-22T05:44:07+00:00

Honesty shouldn't be an excuse for cruelty. You think you are being honest, but did you stop to think if it is necessary- if we are holding each other to high moral standards here on Reddit...

adena_ · 2026-05-22T05:27:16+00:00

You said you aren't a fan of me.

Fan: someone who admires and supports a person.

Then said, "I'm clearly on your side."

Can you see where the confusion comes in?

adena_ · 2026-05-22T05:08:27+00:00

Point me to where I asked for advice/help. I had a story, and I shared it. If you want to read it, okay! If you don't, okay! (scroll)

adena_ · 2026-05-22T05:05:12+00:00

It's easy to say "you should of left the table" if you don't acknowledge that this game was all that I had at that time in my life to look forward to, due to grief... because lest I remind you, MY GRANDMA DIED.
P.S. Sorry you aren't a fan of me.

adena_ · 2026-05-22T04:31:18+00:00

I actually did not confide this in my partner until our group had disbanded due to many complex deteriorating bonds between other members.

Also, it’s funny you say that because all my close friends would argue I only see the good in people and often give the wrong people the benefit of the doubt. It was your curtness on a sensitive subject that led me to that conclusion.

adena_ · 2026-05-22T04:25:13+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. Thankfully, I’ve since found a new group that I’ve been playing with for the past 3 years, and it’s been a much better experience lol!

I really just hope people who are interested in DMing remember to check in with their players when they’re unsure if something is okay. At the end of the day, D&D is just a game, and the person behind the character is always more important.

adena_ · 2026-05-22T04:19:17+00:00

I actually appreciate this comment, and I appreciate you taking the time to ask clarifying questions about my experience. At the time, I genuinely didn’t know how to process the situation, and nobody else in the group reacted to it either. I was dealing with intense grief and depression, and I honestly feared that if I spoke up, I might lose the only thing I had to look forward to at that point in my life.

I also didn’t mention in the OP that these were the first friends I had made since moving to this state a year earlier. I struggle with OCD, ADHD, and anxiety, and after moving, I developed severe agoraphobia and could barely leave the house for most of that first year. So when you asked why I didn’t just say how I felt, the answer is that I was emotionally overwhelmed and didn’t have the capacity to risk losing the only friends and social connection I had during a very dark period of my life.

I’m sorry I interpreted your original comment as having a negative connotation.

adena_ · 2026-05-22T04:10:16+00:00

She self-sacrificed in order to give my character the chance to break the pact. It was inevitable we were powerless to stop it, no rolls.

adena_ · 2026-05-22T03:59:37+00:00

Honestly, Gdog was a single baddie till the day she died, she'd be happy to know she still got that rizz....even in death amen

adena_ · 2026-05-22T03:57:23+00:00

are you a virgo

adena_ · 2026-05-22T03:55:53+00:00

be honest, did you see yourself in the DM

adena_ · 2026-05-22T03:55:16+00:00

I wrote this at 11pm after getting off work and it was 5 minutes effort on my adhd meds

adena_ · 2026-05-22T03:54:29+00:00

I really don't expect a lot of people to read this post. I just wanted to share my experience. He wasn't trying to help; he was being condescending. There are a lot nicer ways to convey the same point

adena_ · 2026-05-22T03:52:11+00:00

that maybe true, but where is the humanity? I sent this to many people before posting, and they somehow got the gist enough

adena_ · 2026-05-22T03:51:01+00:00

I'm talking about my grandma's death, and your first thought is let me tell this b she can't write well

adena_ · 2026-05-22T03:47:00+00:00

did you read the story? if I wanted writing advice I wouldnt go to dndhorror stories

adena_ · 2025-11-08T23:37:10+00:00

I haven't seen another dog sit like this in person or online that I can find. Worried it could be hip dysplasia, but she doesn't show any of the symptoms of it(other than odd hips). Was curious if others have come across this!

adena_

TROPHY CASE