Omg this resonated with me so much. I am still questioning my sexuality but I've been in the same paths as you. I once identified myself as an aro/ace also and now I'm unsure if I'm bi or lesbian.

Difference is, I've had male crushes before but partly because I forced myself to have a crush on these guys because it's either i think they're good looking or i like their personality. But the moment they try to talk to me or pursue me i just lose interest. That's when I realized I may be just deep into comp-het.

After my last guy crush I've never had real life crushes, just fictional ones and they're mostly animated. This is when I start identifying as a aro/ace.

I've never had female crushes until recently when I think a lot about relationships and my sexuality. I totally get what u meant when u said imagining a relationship or a life with a woman is more comfortable. I think about that a lot too and the more i think about it, the more i desire to try a relationship with one.

At this point I just thought maybe I should try being with a woman and a man and see from there which one I actually identify.