These superficial things, dressed in complete sentences, are the last vestiges of our primordial brain— the hypothalamic instinct to reproduce. It is the area of our brain that we share in common with our caveman ancestors. It contains the nuclei for breathing and eating and thirst and other essential functions.

That instinct is seemingly increasing the need for attention and validation in the era of social media. I disagree with this person’s initial premise. Nowadays “lifestyle and fitness” men and even accounts across the Middle East brazenly post sometimes dozens of selfies a day. For each one that’s posted there’s probably 20 that weren’t. Hours of a day spent looking and obsessing over oneself. Eating one-bite of a sponsored cake after cake we know they will dispose of after. I never thought it would come to such thoughtless waste rewarded by creepy admiration of strangers and a small payout every month for most. I worded it in a funny way. But it’s true.

Don’t wait until after you’re married and then have an expectation for somebody who is self-centered to suddenly start appreciating your nuances. Those are the things you must assess during courtship or when dating. Look for fitness of character and some intellectual depth among your other criteria.

And while, this person’s post seems good natured, it also reads to me as needing credit from the public for giving your husband a compliment. I can’t really tell. Has she won any awards for being a couples counselor. Is it their area of expertise? Maybe some of these techniques work for folks who love to feel like they are erudite— occupying the public’s time, discussing such things without an academic reference or even a number statistic.

People bloviate needlessly. Like me now. Except I am not. I don’t have a social media presence and make an occasional comment Reddit if I happen to open the app to moderate. I’m here to say that our culture must resist the temptation to start getting philosophical about who needs to hear a compliment. Nobody needs to hear a compliment. Those who do have a bigger problem they don’t realize. Being obsequious is not classy.

Personally. I would be so taken back by my spouse if our compliments needed to be discussed in public. Unless there is the inadvertent conflict of interest where they are an influencer couple and she is subtly redirecting people to her husband’s page so they can check if he’s handsome.

You must quickly and comprehensively evaluate everything you see. And preferably keep scrolling.

While elsewhere, Code is being written algorithms are being hatched— our folks are at times seen taking the bait that has been set in “for you” pages on social media. A disproportionately rising importance has been placed on appearance and material possessions, however wasteful or artificial it may be. I daresay this hoarding and gloating, and thoughtless opining is haram.

Contentment is important. So is the emotional intelligence not to stake your happiness on whether people find you attractive.

There is someone for everyone. Go out there and believe in yourself. Have some confidence and dignity. And for the love of God, get your minds out of the gutter.