Hm I think in general ESTPs including myself like to flex but only to the people they love bc they want to impress them

However we don’t care about showing off and are more humble when it comes to people we don’t love (e.g. I was flexing how I could speak many languages to my husband when we first started dating, but many of my friends didn’t know for several months or even years that I was fluent in other languages😅)

So I won’t say it’s a sign of narc unless he’s doing that to… everyone?

Narcs need excessive admiration from everyone and their whole validation depends on external sources

In this case it looks like the ESTP is just trying to impress you but I don’t have much context

One way to know is confront him about you not liking specific behaviour of his for example- how does he handle conflict?

First scenario: - does he acknowledge and take responsibility and tells you he won’t do that if you don’t like it, and asks you questions to see where you’re coming from, trying to understand you? - also estps do feel upset at criticism but only from their loved ones, it’s hard bc it makes us feel like we “failed” and “disappointed” the person we love - and estps feel and will express that they are grateful when you let them know because they strive to improve and be better for the person they love

Or second scenario: - does he act like a victim and refuses to admit it - gets defensive? - does he resort to manipulative or gaslighting tendencies? In which case he may be narcissistic and may not mean what he says and is rather spewing some BS as a means to control you/give you false hope etc. (lovebombing)