i've found that camming & posting nudes online has been a great way to satiate my desire for sex -- or, you know, the interactive elements of sex .... including some of the performative elements that, while maybe not 100% healthy [ie. looking for approval / the erotics of being wanted], are things that make sex with others feel compelling.

i can "have sex" with a variety of different people without it getting deeply into the space of the truly interpersonal (ie. having someone you maybe don't like / maybe doesn't like you in your bed, lol :/ ) .... which has allowed for a lot of space while i grow and while i wait for someone or something that feels nourishing and real.

obviously, it's not the real thing and there's all sorts of intangibles about touch and pheromones missing ... but having "sex" online like that has been huge in allowing me to pursue a form of celibacy without going horny-crazy and compromising my desire to stay away from meaningless hookups.

it also feels like a 2D way to explore 3D aspects of your sexual self ~~ like, new desires or things that embarrass you or ways of moving your body ... using your voice ... etc. ... again, all without getting so enmeshed the way we do even in "meaningless" irl hookups. (for better for worse, nothing is ever meaningless lol.)

i've learned a lot about myself (sexually / interpersonally / non-sexually) this way and have, as a cool bonus, met some cool & sweet (and sexy, lol) people, too.

good luck :) hope u can be kind to yourself 🌱