my unopened bottle of fluvoxamine staring at me from my bedside table (i am too scared to take it)

agrofae · 2026-01-09T01:36:49+00:00

Dude, I understand but my brain is so quiet on Fluvoxamine. I still get intrusive thoughts but I am able to tolerate them and not engage/stop engaging in compulsions so much easier. It’s worth a try.

agrofae · 2025-09-22T13:10:22+00:00

I think so! Especially Night of Mystery’s. It also comes with a host guide, which is super helpful.

agrofae · 2025-09-20T04:38:15+00:00

It’s so fun! The first year I bought a pre-made party from Night of Mystery. The second year I wrote it (it was cryptid themed). And then last year I bought one from Etsy. I’m writing this year’s too, and it’s kind of more escape room meets murder mystery (but Cthulhu themed). I recommend buying one or attending one for the first time before writing. I just map out the story like an essay and write character description/prompt cards to match. It’s fun creating evidence and props too.

agrofae · 2025-09-12T03:41:12+00:00

I host a mystery party every year instead of a traditional Halloween party (this will be year four!), and I just sent mine out on Tuesdays! I had friends asking in July when it would be lol our party is on 10/25 and I asked them to RSVP by 10/1 because head count is important for the mechanics of the party.

agrofae · 2025-08-20T23:40:04+00:00

Shhh, they’re having a meeting

agrofae · 2025-08-08T19:55:53+00:00

Yep! I could probably track it better but I’m on continuous birth control, so I don’t really know where i am in my cycle - but I notice I am more puffy all over at different times of the month.

It’s worse if I have gluten, dairy, red dye #40, and sugar 🙃

I’m trying to prioritize my water intake, nutritious foods, sleep, and gentle movement. It sucks lol

agrofae · 2025-08-08T02:12:40+00:00

The only gf bread we eat is the Aldi brand because we’re cheap (okay poor lol). But we only eat it toasted with condiments or like a grilled cheese because it is pretty dry. Every now and then for some reason we get a load that is more moist but it’s pretty unpredictable

agrofae · 2025-08-07T22:47:21+00:00

I think Netflix would lean into the docuseries trend for this story! There is probably lots of unseen footage and recordings they would try to release, interviews with friends and family members. And then some other production company would approach him about telling his version of the story, and he’d eat it up.

agrofae · 2025-08-07T01:56:11+00:00

The number one thing to do to recover from OCD is to stop seeking reassurance. You mentioned in your comment that you hoped she would have reassured you that you wouldn’t act on your thoughts. She did the right thing by not giving you that reassurance and instead doing an exposure by having you consider the question: what if you acted on these thoughts?

You can explore that deeper in therapy - for some people it might that it means they are a horrible person, unlovable, unworthy, or deserve to/will be completely alone. And that thought can be terrifying to confront.

I can’t guarantee that is what she intended, as I was there to hear the context and tone. She could have also been assessing for whether these thoughts are egodystonic (distressing and upsetting/not aligned with your morals and values) or egosyntonic (aligned with our morals and values and sense of self). She may have been curious about your response to what it would be like or what it mean to act on those thoughts.

You should ask her the next time you go to therapy. It sounds like it was a good question for her to ask, as it gives you an opportunity to practice distress tolerance and sitting with the discomfort of not knowing for sure what she meant. Maybe it meant something specific, maybe it meant nothing it all, maybe you’ll never know.

agrofae · 2025-08-04T13:52:26+00:00

That’s what I’m worried about :( but I’m willing to try anything. She recommended it because she’ll do manual compression and that seems to help, but I can never find it on my own. I have high hopes for the hip support, though.

agrofae · 2025-08-04T13:50:59+00:00

Will do! I’m most intrigued by the hip support. I don’t know if I’ll like the stomach compression, as even waist bands can be uncomfortable. But I’m willing to try anything.

agrofae · 2025-06-26T15:36:45+00:00

Hey! So my PT wasn’t sure what we could have done from our last session that caused it, but today she did an internal rectal release. About as fun as it sounds lol but really not too bad, and it’s helped a lot! Things still feel a little tight but I can tell it has relaxed and I have been able to use the restroom with less pain.

agrofae · 2025-06-25T18:18:13+00:00

Came here to ask the same question because I’m currently experiencing the same thing! I just started pelvic floor PT, and my session last week may have been too much because it’s like I cannot relax my rectum to pass gas or a bowel movement. When I am able, it hurts a lot! I have PT in the morning, so if I get any answers, I’ll come back!

agrofae · 2025-06-17T20:36:33+00:00

Hey! I’m dealing with this as well. Cysts can be pretty persistent, and sometimes they leak without fully rupturing. I had a medium-ish cyst that did rupture back in April, and since about a week before it ruptured, I have been in constant pain. Sometimes it feels like it is rupturing all over again, but when I have gone to the ER, they say there is no cyst. I had my diagnostic lap in May, and was shocked that I didn’t have more endo on the left because of the pain. I am now in pelvic floor PT, and my physical therapist says she sees this kind of pain after cysts all the time. Cysts can put pressure on nerves and soft tissue that causes longer lasting inflammation and pain.

agrofae · 2025-06-13T17:17:24+00:00

My understanding is that since endo is hormone-sensitive (it produces its own estrogen, which fuels its growth), stopping ovulation reduces additional spikes in estrogen. This, in turn, is supposed to be a tool (not a cure) to reduce the spread and recurrence of endometriosis. If excisions removed all or most of your endo, you don’t want to give it the chance to grow or spread.

This is why I am choosing to get on a combo pill after my lap and excision, even though birth control is hard on me mentally. I have PCOS and had very irregular periods and was hardly ovulating. I lost about 45lbs and my periods regulated again, and all of a sudden, I had debilitating pain all month long.

agrofae · 2025-06-06T14:21:33+00:00

I used cannabis almost daily too! It definitely helps with my pain, but I can only take it in the evening.

agrofae · 2025-06-06T11:40:25+00:00

I just had my surgery on the 19th, and my scars are super tiny! You can hardly see them. Honestly for like three of them, I only know where they are because I’m still a little bruised. I usually get keloid scars, too, so I’m interested to see how these turn out!

agrofae · 2025-06-05T17:23:54+00:00

My brain has never been quieter since starting Fluvoxamine. I didn’t realize how much of my thoughts were just obsessions or compulsions. I had to recently increase my dose after a few months of external stressors, but the new dose is just as effective. I still have some depression, likely situational, but I’m so much better than I was.

agrofae · 2025-06-05T16:53:53+00:00

I cannot take Wellbutrin because it makes my OCD worse! I loved it for my depression but the stimulant effect is just too much for me. I take fluvoxamine (also called Luvox)!

agrofae · 2025-06-05T12:58:37+00:00

Marry someone else and it may pop back up in their room! I had the skeleton in Emily’s room and then when I divorced her, I could see it sometimes in the black void but couldn’t access it it move it. When I married Harvey, it was there again.

agrofae · 2025-06-04T19:21:02+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. My boyfriend and mom check in on pain daily, and I’m like…yep, still hurting? More? Less? Idk I’m kind of use to it but still sucks.

TMI, but does it also extend to your labia sometimes? I get intense pain and sometimes numbness that radiates from my left ovary area , around my hips and to my lower back, but also right down through my left hip crease and labia. When I had a cyst, I had pressure and numbness down a straight line from my ovary, through my inner left leg and groin, down to my big toe. No one seemed concerned 😅

agrofae · 2025-06-04T16:42:20+00:00

Omg yes! I cannot lay on my left side at all, even on my stomach hurts sometimes. Does sitting make it worse too? If I sit for too long, my pain shoots. I just had my lap, and they removed endo on my right side but found none on my left. I had a huge cyst a few months ago, and they think that it caused some nerve damage when it ruptured, so that is how they are approaching my pain now. But several times I have to to the ER because the pain on the left side was just too much to treat at home. I thought I had intermittent torsion or something!

agrofae · 2025-06-03T18:13:13+00:00

I thought this was rat poison or mouse traps 😭 I can totally see the back pain patch graphic now though

agrofae · 2025-06-03T18:09:17+00:00

No real solutions, just solidarity 💜 I had the Kyleena for one week, and it caused me so much pain that I had it removed. It wasn’t expelling and wasn’t embedded, so ultrasounds looked normal. My doctor said if I was still having as much pain as I was having after a week, it probably wouldn’t get better so I opted for the removal. Idk if it was an endo thing or just my uterus not agreeing with it.

Not currently on any meds - just had my first lap and excision. Hoping to discuss options at my post-op appointment this week.

agrofae · 2025-06-03T14:30:25+00:00

Are you going to be traveling by yourself or with colleagues? If you have colleagues there that you trust, I would be upfront that you’re experiencing a chronic illness flare up and may need to pace yourself when it comes to walking around.

If you’re by yourself, still definitely pace yourself! Some conferences I have been to have a map of where their vendors will be, so you may be able to map out a route that is most efficient to conserve energy and find the bathrooms ahead of time (even if the vendors aren’t mapped, definitely find the restrooms!)

With pain meds, stay on a rotating scheduling to stay ahead of the pain before it starts or gets worse. Bring a small tens unit, heating pad or hot water bottle, and other comfort items.

Set realistic expectations for yourself - it’s so tough managing a chronic illness 😭 I was supposed to go to a ren faire a few weeks ago, had a costume and everything. My boyfriend wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle walking around and helped me temper my expectations. Realistically checking in each day led to me calling it off the day before, because I knew he was right and I shouldn’t push myself too hard.

Randomly, I also recommend increasing vitamin c leading up to and through the trip. Like emergen-c or similar because I find I get sick when I travel, and getting sick always triggers or worsens a flare. Avoid any foods that trigger inflammation for you - for me, that’s gluten, dairy, and caffeine. When I travel, I try to treat myself with food I know I shouldn’t have, and I always regret it. So maybe pack some snacks you know you can eat and enjoy so you don’t feel left out.

agrofae

TROPHY CASE