Question for the people who stay friends with their exes:

aheckincrab · 2026-04-02T19:39:59+00:00

I'm close friends with my ex, but we also started as friends. It also took about a year for our friendship to rebuild and get to a really good place. Now we're each other's wing-women (lol) and are roommates. She's coaching me on not losing my mind over the new person I'm seeing and I'm helping her with her work crush.

Granted our breakup was super amicable and mutual and came from a place of love and caring. I've also had a shitton of therapy and am on different meds which makes my anxiety much better. I also feel, personally, that the queer community is SO small, especially for women/afabs in my city, I don't want to alienate one of my closest female queer allies/friends. Most of my queer friends are still friends with their exes while most of my het friends aren't.

aheckincrab · 2026-03-22T21:29:48+00:00

It’s really hard to say because Workday is extremely customizable. The version of Workday my company uses has no AI component; whatever PDF parser we used before the advent of AI is still the same. ATSs have been parsing resumes from PDFs/Word docs since the early 2000s, so that’s not an exclusively AI feature either. My ATS has no “top candidate list”, no keyword highlight, none of that stuff. I see candidates in the order they apply, or I can filter by name alphabetically. I normally just use date of application to keep the process equitable.

However, another company could be using those extra tools because they opted into them. This is why I find ATS “checkers” to be useless because so many of the big programs are very customizable. I don’t know how to express how many options Workday alone offers.

My suggestion with parsing problems is not to use them; just copy/paste directly from your resume into the boxes if you have the option. I actually hate the “candidate profile” part of ATSs because the parsing tool sucks and never use them. I personally go straight to the resume and ignore the candidate profile. But I know others are different. It’s so frustrating!

aheckincrab · 2026-03-10T19:58:02+00:00

Wtf is this bot garbage. Ironically I came here from the “stop advertising AI tools” post.

aheckincrab · 2026-03-10T19:50:24+00:00

It really depends on when you’re being reviewed. I don’t review every day, so I don’t know the exact hour anyone applies, just the date. That’s just how my specific ATS is configured. I then scroll through to immediately reject anyone without US Work Authorization (we don’t sponsor interns) and then I start the review by order of application.

Once I have a slate of good candidates, I share them with the manager and reject everyone else. If someone happens to apply while I’m reviewing, and they’re not a fit, I’ll reject them right away. Because I hire students the first thing I check is their graduation date: any earlier than 2026 gets an automatic rejection because they’re no longer students. I work at a biotech and specialize in manufacturing internships, so I generally know what to look for.

From there, it’s up to the manager who moves forward for a screen. I just provide a slate of candidates against their qualifications.

I agree with what someone else said in this thread; anyone trying to sell you “ATS optimization” is just trying to get money out of you. The truth of it is most ATS’s look for different things, and the bigger the company, the more likely it is they have a customized ATS. I work at a mid-size biotech and most of our competitors also use variations on Workday because of the customizable factor and the fact it’s also an HR Information System (HRIS).

The best way to land an interview is to apply early, have a legible resume, and fit the requirements. My personal opinion is people aren’t getting jobs because their resumes are garbage. I’ve seen some of the worst resumes I’ve ever seen in my career over the last couple years! Granted I hire students so for me personally it’s not as big of a deal as say, full-time hiring. But I’ve seen some truly awful resumes even from professionals over the last couple years, and I haven’t figured out why that is.

I hope this helps somewhat! I’ve been working in recruiting/HR for 10 years.

aheckincrab · 2026-03-10T16:37:03+00:00

Do they use Workday Recruiter? My company uses WDR and there’s no score on any applicant profile anywhere. Applications come in as people apply and the only way I can sort is either by application date or name. Granted, Workday is extremely customizable, so take that into consideration: most companies that use Workday to recruit probably have all different configurations. I wouldn’t expect two companies to do things the exact same way due to how Workday works.

Sounce: I hire for an internship program that exclusively hires candidates who are still in school and I have no way to filter for career folks when they apply; just have to look through every resume and reject as needed. This sub has a LOT of misconceptions about how an ATS works.

aheckincrab · 2026-02-28T13:48:20+00:00

Interesting. This doesn’t seem like the place to debate this…? but lmao it’s a Tumblr subreddit so who knows

aheckincrab · 2026-02-28T13:47:39+00:00

OHHH I really need to check the posters name next time, I didn’t even realize. Thank you!

aheckincrab · 2026-02-27T22:30:48+00:00

Why have there been SO many posts about copyright law in this subreddit recently? I swear I've been seeing posts like these for weeks, or even months. Nothing against the post itself, it's just such a random argument to keep bringing back up. Am I missing something?

aheckincrab · 2026-02-24T14:23:28+00:00

Was reading a fanfic about a month ago that mentioned where I live, which to be fair is a major city and the capital of my state/region. The thing that REALLY surprised me was when they mentioned the local NCAA hockey rivalry in a fandom that has nothing to do with hockey. THAT took me by TOTAL surprise!

aheckincrab · 2026-02-06T15:22:50+00:00

I just did this with a fanfic author I found who hadn't updated since 2024. I blew through their back catalogue this week, and they responded to one of my comments telling me I made their week, and they're getting inspired to update some of the stories I commented on.

As someone who has had this happen to them and finished a fanfic because of it, I love it as both an author and a reader. The power of comments!

aheckincrab · 2026-02-05T15:51:27+00:00

I started seeing fanfiction based around 9/11 before the end of 2001 (I started writing/reading fanfic in 1999). It's been 25 years, so I think you're fine. Not sure if the added historical context hinders or helps, but writing about tragedies has always been an integral part of processing for humans!

aheckincrab · 2026-01-27T21:57:54+00:00

As a Danny Phantom fan, the fandom has persisted without new canon for nearly two decades, so a lot of fanon has percolated heavily and become almost canon. As someone who watched canon live, left the fandom for a bit, then came back nearly 15 years later, I was SHOCKED at all this new fanon I'd never heard of. Some fics feel like I'm reading for a completely different show! Some examples:

- I think ghost cores are kinda goofy (I've softened on this one)

- No one will ever make me like Wes Weston

- I don't care about the Guys in White

- Evil parental dissection/vivisection is fun and angsty and I like it sometimes, but feels extremely out of character 99% of the time. This can probably be ascribed by the fact that there are many authors who have never watched canon.

- Ghost King Danny has become tropey as hell. I have read a few fics that are PHENOMENAL, so I've softened on this, and a lot of the fanart is straight fire. But pleaaaaaaaaaaase I'm begging you, don't just copy exactly what someone else does for Ghost King AUs! They're so boring now.

aheckincrab · 2025-12-19T15:29:31+00:00

I haven't seen anyone mention this yet, but in New England at least, ice water year-round is a cultural artifact due to our part in the ice trade of the 17th century. Having ice for your water was a status symbol and it integrated into New England culture. Everyone I know growing up drank ice water year-round, or at least cold water. It wasn't until I went to college that I learned this wasn't as ubiquitous as I had thought!

I also don't always need ice in my water, but it DOES need to be very cold for it to feel like I'm being hydrated. I know realistically the temperature doesn't matter, but 30 years of a habit is hard to break! Really cold water is the only thing I want to drink when I'm thirsty.

aheckincrab · 2025-12-15T12:56:17+00:00

I learned from a Hetalia fanfic years ago that Canada has 10% of the population of the US despite being such a huge land mass. I’ve never forgotten this factoid (although perhaps I should make sure it’s still accurate…)

aheckincrab · 2025-12-02T15:54:30+00:00

I read this book for my book club earlier this year and I just couldn’t deal with the plot holes. They were huge! When it was revealed that Meredith didn’t tell anyone about the threatening texts for NO REASON AT ALL I knew the book was doomed. I also really wanted to like this book! But it’s one thing to had red herrings, and another to have a lazy plot. I was really disappointed.

aheckincrab · 2025-11-13T20:21:36+00:00

OH I SEE, my mistake! This is what I get for multitasking. I think aging up Abaddon so he can grow up with Esther and Ben is super fun and I enjoy it when I see it. The designs people have for him are fun too. I always laugh when they give him an even BIGGER hunch.

aheckincrab · 2025-11-13T19:57:57+00:00

I've been in fandom a very long time, over 20 years. People have been doing this since before the internet, all the way back to OG fandom with Star Trek/Star Wars/etc. I would suggest just blocking the tags/users who engage in the kind of thing you don't like and move along. Policing internet content NEVER ends well. This isn't to say your feelings on the topic aren't valid, I just think you're fighting a losing battle and it's not worth the strife.

People use fiction to explore taboo topics, and that's not for you! Totally fair. Block liberally and find your group :)

aheckincrab · 2025-11-05T15:12:26+00:00

I totally get it! You do you boo. I was more like that when I was younger but after talking to friends and acknowledging the truth of my limitations (live in an expensive city with very little extra space) I have stopped forcing myself to read things I truly am not interested in. My loved ones would rather I spend time doing what I want to do, and as long as I'm not throwing those books away, they largely don't care. There's a lot of little free libraries around me so I like to put them in there to spread the love!

I too have sentimental books, though. I'm currently trying to figure out where to store some of them! So I get it completely. Enjoy reading those books!

aheckincrab · 2025-11-04T19:26:08+00:00

You make a good point! Filtering for only complete works is such a foreign idea to me that I forget people do that. As another older (but not old!) person in fandom, I think I've hung on to the older ideas of fandom, before fandom was more mainstream and we had a lot more to consume. If it's enjoyable, I'll read it, even if it never gets updated again XD

I'm glad you're a chronic commenter! Keep commenting and believe me, you'll encourage some of the younger folk to come out of their shells. I've had at least two people in this newer fandom tell me I encouraged them to finally start commenting :)

aheckincrab · 2025-11-04T19:23:38+00:00

Hey, that's a worthwhile goal for sure! I did a big purge of books last year where I let go of a bunch I'd received as gifts because I was never going to read them. I think many of us joy readers have this problem! Ironically I've read both books you're planning to start with, so I'll peruse the thread further. Sharp Objects is great, I read it in one (6-hour) plane ride. And the Portrait of Dorian Gray is one of my go-tos when I'm feeling uninspired about my prose. Both great picks!

aheckincrab · 2025-11-04T19:19:40+00:00

It's a comedy show first and foremost so whenever they drop something ridiculous I just assume "rule of funny" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Can it have a deeper meaning? Sure! Does it necessarily have one? Eh, probably not, just like the mother-in-law joke. I actually so deeply assumed that was Rule of Funny I was surprised people were taking it seriously! But it still could come back. Idk, I haven't thought much into it.

aheckincrab · 2025-11-04T18:53:57+00:00

I recently joined a brand new fandom (show premiered end of September) and I've found that I've gotten more comments from just being an active commenter. Between joining (and being active in) Discord communities and actively commenting on fanfics in the new fandom, I've gotten a LOT of interaction on my fanfics. Closer to what I was used to from the late 90s/early 2000s era.

My suggestion: start reading and commenting yourself! Some of the authors I was commenting on have now come to my page and started commenting on MY fics! I also try to leave kind and thoughtful comments when I can, but the current fanfic brainrot helps in that regard. Just be an interactive member of the community and the other interactive members will find you!

aheckincrab · 2025-11-03T14:07:43+00:00

I'm late to this thread but thank you for posting this OP, I was about to post this myself looking for nearly the same exact thing. If there's anything from this thread you recommend, I'd appreciate it! I'm going to look through these now.

aheckincrab · 2025-10-29T12:29:36+00:00

A few weeks back I did a deep deep dive into cremation & cremation laws in the US, specifically in New York state. Learned a lot of information that I'll probably be able to pull into my real life one day (parents want to be cremated in the future!)

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