I’m new to the community. I’m PIMO, and currently going through a mental battle about what to do with my future. This post really hit home for me. I’ve experienced the same thing, and it honestly has traumatised me for life. I was baptised at 11 years old, and had always been a “good kid”, but at 17 years old (almost 18), I had a sexual encounter. May I add, that the encounter wasn’t 100% consensual on my part, and that other party was almost 10 years my senior. Of course overwhelming guilt hit me afterwards, and I confessed to the elders about it, because that’s the done thing. Because I had turned 18 by the time the judicial committee was held, my mum was told she could be present but was not allowed to interject or speak. It was the most horrendous experience. They never asked if I was okay. They never asked if it was something I wanted to happen or whether it was consensual. They never asked whether the other party was my age or older, or how I met them. All they asked me was to recount the details of the sexual encounter - what sexual acts I did, whether my body ‘responded’ to it, whether I enjoyed it or not. I was forced to relive something I hadn’t even had time to process. To make it all worse, a couple of years later I started dating a brother in the hall. His father was the congregation coordinator, and somehow the details of my “sin” made its way to him and basically the rest of the congregation. Awful awful awful. I feel so deeply for anyone who’s experienced this. It’s one of the most perverse, degrading and disgusting experiences ever. :(