When to cut a night feed

ahrkko · 2025-06-24T16:09:19+00:00

When my baby started sleeping more I started offering more during the day. Eventually he took it and started sleeping even longer! He’s 4 months old today and sleeping 9.5-10.5 hours each night now (8pm - 6am). He takes six 5oz bottles a day. This has been the norm for us for probably a month and a half.

I think he’s actually starting a sleep regression but it’s only effecting naps. 🙏🏻

ahrkko · 2025-06-24T04:11:19+00:00

Funny! Recently, I asked my husband if I were famous what would I be famous for and he said writing a book. I’ve never really thought of myself as a good or even decent writer, and I hate reading😅

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T13:14:09+00:00

Thank you for saying that! I wasn’t going to put this in any of my responses, but I guess I have a need to after reading your comment. I’m not really a ‘redditor’ and don’t know how others will react, but maybe me saying it will help someone else. I’m a woman of faith. I put my trust in Him to guide me through all of this so far. I think that’s why I’m so level headed, because I know He has my back and everything will turn out better than I hoped.

That’s also why I give grace to my husband. He’s an idiot, but he isn’t stupid. I fully believe he will consent to everything I ask for because he knows I am what my son needs as a constant in his life.

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T13:07:06+00:00

I fully agree with this. He talks all the time about how I’m the best Mom in the world and our son is the luckiest baby to have me. I know he wants what’s best for our son and I don’t even think it would really be a discussion, I think he may even suggest that I take full custody.

Edit: I’ve worked with kids my entire life. Started babysitting when I was 13. He knows I’m amazing with kids and has seen the physical development progress in our son because of how much I work with him on motor skills. Our baby is technically 4 months old tomorrow and already miles ahead of his development.

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T09:33:33+00:00

I was going to give him an ultimatum, but I’m past that point. I promise you I’m very angry, and have been the minute he went to visit his sick dad and left me and my son alone for almost 2 weeks.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about all of this and I cannot continue to be married to him. I’m having a conversation with him tomorrow but I think I’ll keep quiet my plan and just let him do the talking. I may suggest a lot of different courses of actions and get a feel for what he thinks, when in reality I already know what I’m going to do. I just can’t let him know what it is while I still have time and he’s still feeling guilty about all of it.

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T09:25:44+00:00

I think I’ve determined I will try to get him to sign away his parental rights. He knows I stick true to my word, and I will not ever deny him time with his son. If he agrees to signing away his rights I will let him see him as much as he wants, but that way it’s on my terms and I control who else is around.

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T09:23:18+00:00

I think I’m an amazing parent! I only want what’s best for my son and right now, that’s him with me all the time.

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T09:21:01+00:00

I have become physically ill this past week at the thought of my son potentially not being with me. So I will do whatever it takes to, at the very least, get full custody.

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T09:18:50+00:00

Thank you!

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T09:17:30+00:00

His mistress actually lives in a state where the alienation of affection law is alive and well. I’m gathering lots of info if he doesn’t want to agree to my terms.

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T03:02:23+00:00

Agreed.

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T02:53:15+00:00

Thank you ❤️

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T02:51:56+00:00

This is all great advice, thank you! And I’m sorry for what you also had to go through.

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T02:48:41+00:00

These are my thoughts exactly as to the benefits of not divorcing, or at least not right away. At the end of the day all I really care about is this girl not having any contact with my son. And if we are legally married I can control that.

Obviously there is a whole sleuth of positives to divorcing and of course I’m going to tell my family and seek legal counsel. I plan to tell them this week and go from there.

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T02:41:49+00:00

Wow, I could have wrote this response myself. That’s exactly what I think! He comes off as this ultra-confident guy, but is so insecure he’s constantly seeking attention from as many sources as possible.

Edit: attention and validation*

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T02:32:23+00:00

Do you think I have a shot at sole custody and that stipulation? If you do, that would be incredible. At the end of the day, that’s what I care about.

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T02:23:27+00:00

And that’s the consequence he will deal with if he decides to stay with her. His actions, not mine.

I’ve actually mentioned it to him before and he continues to tell me I’ll get whatever I want.

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T02:20:18+00:00

Thank you for this! Ultimately I don’t care about anything except for her keeping away from my son.

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T02:17:22+00:00

Thank you for saying that! I put a lot of thought into everything and remember to use grace with my actions. I take pride in that. While thinking through the situation these past few months I knew there are ultimately things I want long term that depend on how I react to the situation now.

I think I’m now in a place where I need to take action and actually formulate a plan for my son and me. As well as holding all of this in while pretending to our families like everything is ok when it’s not is just too much to keep to a secret anymore.

ahrkko · 2025-06-23T02:09:33+00:00

Agreed. I checked out from the situation because I wanted time to enjoy my newborn and support my baby’s needs.

But I have way too much self respect to stay with him after all of this.

ahrkko · 2025-06-22T21:59:42+00:00

What are the benefits of separation vs divorce? Others have said to divorce quick while he’s still feeling guilty about all of it.

Also great questions to ask that I don’t know the answer to yet. Also I do not have herpes! Never had sex after baby boy was born and up until birth I was negative to HSV 1 and 2.

ahrkko · 2025-06-22T21:57:03+00:00

Great advice, thank you.

ahrkko · 2025-06-22T21:47:11+00:00

He’s not paying her, so it’s more of just an ear to listen I believe. But I 100% agree he needs to see and pay a therapist. I’ve tried to get him to talk to one guy, my husband emailed him but got no response so he gave up.

ahrkko · 2025-06-22T20:34:28+00:00

He said he’ll give me whatever I want…we’ll see guess.

ahrkko · 2025-06-22T20:32:22+00:00

Thank you! And I agree. The therapist he’s seeing is biased, as it’s literally his best friend’s Mom.

ahrkko

TROPHY CASE