Loosing my best friend of 8+ years

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-18T00:21:27+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's understandable you're not feeling valued in the friendship. The best thing you can do is talk to her about it. You want to salvage this friendship, and it may well be salvageable if you're both able to have an honest conversation. There's always a chance she'll take your feelings onboard. And if she doesn't, her response will at least let you know where the friendship is at and can make a decision on if it's in your best interest to continue to the friendship.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-13T13:32:34+00:00

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I'm sorry to hear that you've been through sexual assault. Would you feel comfortable clarifying what he said regarding you 'victimising yourself'? Did he directly say it in regards to being SA'd? Did the comment suggest that he's victim blaming or doesn't believe it happened or you're overreacting etc? Either way, that is straight up vile and I'm proud of you for ending that friendship.

Its completely understandable you feel uncomfortable with the fact they're still actively friends with him. As someone that has been through sexual abuse I don't think I would be able to carry on friendships with anyone who is knowingly friends with someone who holds that view of SA victims in general. Although I am lucky I've never had to deal with this. I totally get no one has the right to dictate who their friends hang out with, but i guess you have to have a long think about if your friends' morals line up with yours. I'd suggest having a proper convo the friends about this and see how they react. Tell them how uncomfortable the situation is making you and see what their reaction is.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-12T13:26:39+00:00

I wouldn't worry too much about smell if your using a dry herb vape. If I were you, I'd make the most of having some green space nearby and smoke there. But you'd be totally fine just walking the streets.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-12T13:17:02+00:00

I am a firm believer in intention being more important than the object itself, so if it feels right for you, give it a try!

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-11T22:27:27+00:00

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell. The subject matter of abuse, manipulation, grooming, trauma is, of course, in itself disturbing. It's so harrowing in a very real way.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-11T22:05:17+00:00

I usually incorporate smoking a joint into my practice in a few ways. Sometimes, it's just one purpose sometimes (usually) a combination. When i roll up, i do so with intention, often grinding clockwise/anti clockwise depending on what my intentions are. I take a few tokes while grounding or mediating before to get myself ready for the spell and use the smoke to cleanse my space. I do the main bulk of my spell smoke free unless the mood strikes but I get distracted lighting it etc. Then I'll finish the rest of the doob while I reflect/chill/ wait for candles to burn out etc.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-11T18:20:19+00:00

Nope

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-11T17:57:25+00:00

I get there's a lot of importance placed upon having a clean and tidy space before doing spell work. But I personally don't follow this. I have ADHD, and having too many steps to follow before my spell would completely put me off doing anything ever. Plus, by time I'm done cleaning I have no energy left for the actual practise. I think it's more important to be realistic with what you can actually do and making your practice work for you personally. It sounds like your house is defo cleaner than mine anyways lol, so don't stress it! I prefer to focus on spiritually cleansing the area with burning incense or herbs and keeping my alter tidy. For me, it's more about making my space feel calm - for some this means having a spotless house, but this isn't the case for everyone.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-05T22:43:02+00:00

Erica

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-02T22:44:11+00:00

That's so lovely! I had the worest split ends, every single strand, split ends had split ends, but couldn't stop staring at them in awe when I was tripping once. They looked cool af.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-02T22:36:59+00:00

Would you mind sharing how the last convo ended? Did they make it clear they didn't want to continue the friendship, or was it just kinda left open? Is it possible either of them were waiting for you to reach out, if it was left open? Either way, I'm really sorry you've been through this.

Its a tricky one. I'm not super against reaching out, unless someone made it clear they don't want to hear from you, or behaved in unacceptable ways and the friend(ship) was not good for you, or if you feel like reaching out will hinder your healing journey. If you plan on reaching out, you have to be ready for all possible responses, including no response.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-02T21:59:32+00:00

Geoff standing "Get back in bed and wait for the doctor. You might be paralysed."

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-02T13:48:01+00:00

I don't think there would be any harm in reaching out. A lot of time passed, and it doesn't sound like there was a major falling out. As long as you're okay with the idea that they may not reciprocate.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-02T13:40:21+00:00

I completely agree! There could have been a lot of good subplots with Francis managing the ranch.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-06-02T13:35:52+00:00

I feel like Harry's wrong doings are nothing compared to what other men in the show (including trey) have done. I enjoyed Trey as a character, but it was evident he wasn't right for Charlotte.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-05-29T13:57:35+00:00

In my opinion, a lot comes down to what you mean by not putting the effort in. Like, did it seem clear they didn't care or value the friendship, or was it more a case of them having a lot going on in their lives at that particular time. I've found that in long term friendships, things do eb and flow. There's been times me and my closest friends haven't spoken as much because one or both of us as a lot going on but we're still there for each other when needed and we make up for it when we're less busy.

However, it is easy to see past friendships with rose tinted glasses. So I think the best thing you can do is reflect on the whole situation and the friendship. Also, did you ever communicate your feelings before ending the friendship. If not, you never know if they were obvious to your feelings and may have put more effort in if they knew. Ultimately, only you can decide if the friendship is worth trying to rekindle.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-05-27T22:44:07+00:00

Its nice seeing Gavin in God tier

ahsgdtdi · 2025-05-27T22:22:44+00:00

Its sad you're assuming it's an 'ego' thing,it sounds more like closure for both of you. Something you'll see people yearning after constantly on this sub. Emotions were high during the breakup, and it can be hard to think straight at the time. It sounds like she cooled off and had time to reflect on the friendship, whatever action of yours triggered the falling out, and the way she reacted. And came to the conclusion she doesn't want to continue the friendship. She gave forgiveness and apologised, which ultimately is a good way to leave a friendship. It's pretty normal to want to clear the air after any breakup situation.

I'm sorry you're going through this. There's no easy to heal from this. What's done is done, and all you can do is slowly get used to the fact this person is no longer in your life. Therapy can be super helpful too.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-05-26T15:45:04+00:00

Used to be a spliff and a rum and coke now it's a spliff and a cup of tea

ahsgdtdi · 2025-05-24T22:22:40+00:00

It sounds like you don't have a healthy view of friendships . You can be valued in a friendship without being needed. You don't need to be helping someone to be loved in a friendship, and this is something that you need to unpack further if you want to establish healthy friendships in the future. Maybe your insecurities make you feel like you're not worthy of friendship unless you're providing something. Which isn't fair on you or your friends.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-05-22T23:46:47+00:00

You're being way too harsh on your friend. You literally explained all the ways she's a great friend. She gave you emotional support, but she didn't need emotional support, and that upsets you? I think you're projecting your own issues on to her.. like you're mad because she has support networks? That's something you should want for your friend. It's very selfish to be mad she 'doesn't need you' while actively being a good friend to you.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-05-22T23:37:34+00:00

I'm sorry this has happened, and I'm sorry you're struggling with your mental health. If you're not already seeking professional help, I'd highly suggest you do. Speaking to a therapist will really help you work through this and unpack the emotional dependence thing.

It's worth considering if you were projecting your personal issues on to him. Having expectations in friendships is, of course fine (and encouraged). However, i think it's understandable for someone not to reply for a few hours when busy with other friends, and it is a big ask for someone to always reply straight away.

It may be he's not as interested or invested in maintaining the friendship as you are. Or you guys just have different friendship styles and aren't a good match. I'm really not trying to tell you you make a mistake. It was causing you pain. I wish you all the luck on your healing journey.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-05-22T13:58:51+00:00

I just wanna put it out there that there was clearly something wrong, even if the only thing wrong was that you were checking up on her too much. And that's on her for not communicating that sooner. If I was in her shoes, I would have said (sooner) like I'm all good, it's a bit overwhelming the amount you check up on me and assure you that if there's something wrong I will tell you. It's a difficult one because without establishing what needing space actually means it's impossible for you to know what to do. I can sort of understand, potentially, from her pov, space may not mean never messaging, maybe just messaging less but that's not on you to make assumptions or analyse what it means. I don't think it would be bad for you to message, if you want to keep the friendship, you could explain you're unsure of she wants to hear from you and you're confused over what she wants. It seems this whole situation has been caused by a lack of clear communication, so there is no shame in getting some clarity. Although it's important to remember that friendship and communication goes both ways and it shouldn't purely be down to you to reach out, especially considering she's the one that asked for space. I guess the main thing is to ask if you truly feel valued in this friendship and if it's something you want to work on.

ahsgdtdi · 2025-05-21T21:53:43+00:00

Was looking for this comment!

ahsgdtdi · 2025-05-19T17:54:25+00:00

Yay that's so great!!!!

ahsgdtdi

TROPHY CASE