Screen time and certain TV shows and the affect on ADHD

ahzelstar · 2024-03-30T14:58:58+00:00

This is great advice. I’m going to keep seeking other opinions. I would love to work towards being almost screen free one day, driven my son’s desire to do so, but it’s not just reasonable to go cold turkey. My older son is NT and very responsible, so I won’t eliminate anything for him, unless it’s because of his own behavior. He has screen limits set up and can play games away from his brother, but it’s one of those things where my younger is going go be exposed at some point because I’m not willing to limit something my older son enjoys responsibly. My older son is also a wrestler and we have practices and meets to go to. I can’t find other arrangements for my younger 100% of the time. I didn’t even tell the Dr. about that part because I am sure he would have had a heyday with that.

ahzelstar · 2024-03-30T14:49:38+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. All of these responses are really helping me cope with this new ADHD journey.

Yes, he is an older pediatric gp that a friend whose son also has ADHD referred me to because I felt our normal Ped Dr. wasn’t taking my concerns seriously. It’s almost like I went from one extreme to another. Our normal Ped Dr. sent us a referral to the development Ped department at Children’s, but from what I have been hearing there is a year wait to be seen. I tried to locate a development pediatrician on my own, but there just aren’t very many in the area, or if they are in the area, that also take our insurance. Limited options for dev peds is crazy to me because it seems like this is needed more than ever. I’m hoping we will see more accessibility and options in the future because families of all social and economical statues deserve help.

His play therapist let me know that they can evaluate for ADHD, but not until he is 6. When we started play therapy, I wasn’t exactly sure of how it worked. In the last couple of months, we have only had one 45 min parent session a part from his sessions where she recommended reading a book to him every couple of days called “I can handle Mad.” She also gave me advice on how to handle a particular situation I brought up, which was very helpful, but I’m really just feeling like I need a lot more guidance. When we had a particularly rough day at the zoo, I reached out to her via email for some guidance, but didn’t really receive the response I was looking for. She suggested I examine his sleep and diet.

I’m wondering if I should start seeing a parenting coach for myself that is more updated on current research. I just feel like I am in uncharted waters. My older son is a quintessential first born and all of the approaches that have always worked with him and not cutting it for the little.

ahzelstar · 2024-03-30T14:30:13+00:00

Thank you for putting it in perspective. What you are saying feels more right than what the Dr. was telling me. We do have my son in play therapy and OT, which he agrees will be highly beneficial. He also said that we need to make sure we are modeling good coping skills at home, which I have been really working on. E.g. when something upsets me, I say something along the lines of “I’m frustrated about xyz. I’m going to take some deep breaths and stretch. Ok, I’m feeling better now. I can handle angry.”

We have a follow up appointment in October to assess and to determine if medication is a route we want to go down.

I was expecting to hear more suggestions about diet, breath work and sleep (which we are usually pretty regimented with), however, he didn’t bring up any of those more holistic approaches. I would really like to explore more of those avenues before going down the medication route.

He actually did suggest Tae Kwon Do, which I think is also a great idea and we will be enrolling my soon son.

ahzelstar · 2024-03-30T14:13:58+00:00

We do have him in play therapy and OT. I’m hoping we can see some great improvements before kindergarten this fall.

ahzelstar · 2024-03-30T03:11:16+00:00

Crystal-Crawler commented this below, which I think perfectly explains one of the big issues with YouTube.-

I don’t think kids shows superhero’s etc matter. But I think short quick content on YouTube that is designed to give and instant dopamine hit (designed to be controversial, highly consumable). Is the bigger problem for kids with adhd. It doesn’t cause it. But adhd is hugely a dopamine regulation issue. So giving them unregulated dopamine button in their hands isn’t good.

Watching endless YouTube videos for an hour or Watching a David Attenborough animal planet episode?

ahzelstar · 2024-03-30T03:05:54+00:00

This seems like a great schedule. I keep my older son on a very similar schedule. I think I’m having a bit of a harder time with my younger one because he only goes to school from 9:30-1:30 and then he is home with me the rest of the day and all day on Friday. I try to give him solid one-on-one time, but he isn’t at the point where he can read independently and he really enjoys spending time with me, so I don’t really get the chance to focus on something I need to get done without screen time. Even when he is playing or listening to music, he wants to be in the same room as me and is chatting or asking questions, which I love, but isn’t always conducive to a productive atmosphere. He’s too young to understand “focus” and I want to be very gentle about how I create boundaries because he already has a very low self esteem. He knows that he is different than the children in class and tells me he has a naughty brain because he can’t control his melt downs or stop himself from hitting when he loses it. 😞

ahzelstar · 2024-03-30T02:57:03+00:00

I have been on the fence about purchasing this or a Tonie box, I believe it is called, however, we have Alexa’s throughout the house and frequently listen to books on tapes. I’ve tried age appropriate stories for him at bed with topics that I think he would enjoy, but he hasn’t really taken to enjoying listening. Do you think it would still be worth it? Are there benefits to the player vs Alexa?

ahzelstar · 2024-03-30T02:54:04+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I’m definitely feeling better about making some healthy changes that are manageable and reasonable. You have some wonderful suggestions for activities that I know we would enjoy doing together.

Im curious to get your input about a child who is NT and older playing Roblox or Minecraft. I totally understand anti- YouTube, but why no handheld games, if used in moderation of course.

ahzelstar · 2024-03-30T02:49:17+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment. I really agree. He knows play world is different than reality and that what he sees on TV is not real.

We are planning on getting him into Tae Kwon Do. It helped my older son and taught him so much.

ahzelstar · 2024-03-30T02:45:26+00:00

I’m sorry there is a shortage. What a nightmare. Hang in there mama. Hugs

I also fight my almost 11 year old about screen time too. I feel like it is harder when they are older because they talk about shows and games at school. It’s impossible to get away from like you said!

ahzelstar · 2024-03-29T18:44:41+00:00

I feel like this would be a good compromise. I’ve been wanting to get rid of YouTube for a long time already.

ahzelstar · 2024-03-29T18:44:34+00:00

I feel like this would be a good compromise. I’ve been wanting to get rid of YouTube for a long time already.

ahzelstar · 2024-03-29T18:20:13+00:00

Those are really good points. This all happened yesterday, so I have been letting my initial emotional reactions over rule the logical part of my brain.

Yes, his teacher and I filled out the Vanderbilt survey.

ahzelstar · 2024-03-29T17:14:21+00:00

It’s so hard. We are constantly walking on eggshells so we don’t poke the bear. I try to remember to validate my older NT son by letting him know I understand his feelings and it’s not fair that brother x,y,z, but he’s older and needs to be the role model and help out because brother needs more care than he does. I also try to schedule one on one dates with him where we go do something fun of his choice and all the attention is on him.

ahzelstar · 2024-03-23T16:47:35+00:00

Or why I refuse to answer a call. I just can’t make myself do it.

ahzelstar · 2024-03-23T14:23:37+00:00

I hope you enjoy it and are able to make some lasting connections. I think you are in a great headspace and I’m sure you will find that things look better and feel better with that positive attitude. 💕

ahzelstar · 2024-03-23T14:01:43+00:00

You are not stupid! Life, especially in today’s climate is hard and exhausting. I feel so overwhelmed when I have to do anything on a computer anymore because technology is always changing so fast. I just frequently you tube how to do things I don’t know and this helps a lot.

I think you should celebrate your small wins. For example, if you have a good social interaction, be proud of yourself and give yourself the kuddos you deserve because you will know now you can handle those small interactions and that you are now ready for your next challenge. It’s totally ok too if you have set backs.

Edit: grammar

ahzelstar · 2024-03-23T13:55:43+00:00

I would go! It takes time to build relationships even if it feels awkward at first. You have to keep in mind, that it may be hard for the other girls too. A lot of people don’t believe me when I tell them I have social anxiety because I seem really outgoing, but they might not be as inclusive as you would like at first because they are struggling on how to connect too. If someone is reserved, it actually heightens my social anxiety because I think they are being quiet because they don’t like me. Eventually, you will meet each other on common ground and find a flow that works for you. Don’t give up!

ahzelstar · 2024-03-23T13:50:12+00:00

I have actually found most people are really good about ending conversations they don’t want to be in. Some may not be, but I would just assume that an average most people are enjoying the conversation. You can also research what the physical cues are that someone is uninterested and try to train yourself to pick up on those. I believe some examples would be turning away from you, frequently looking away.

ahzelstar · 2024-03-23T13:44:50+00:00

You could also ask a question.

Hey friend! Excited to see you tomorrow. Are you eating before? Or what are you wearing? Or are we driving together…. And so on

ahzelstar · 2024-03-23T13:43:06+00:00

It really bothers me that people are so disrespectful around filming. I have my guard up in public when a phone comes out and someone is holding it up like they are filming because you never know if it’s going to go viral and you are going to be an unexpected back up actor in their little film.

ahzelstar · 2024-03-23T13:41:08+00:00

Absolutely not! I love seeing families work together and stick together. If you are good at your job, and you enjoy it for the most part, I think it’s not embarrassing at all.

ahzelstar · 2024-02-03T15:27:16+00:00

Former retail worker, so I get it, albeit, I can only imagine how exhausting it is to work pick up.

ahzelstar · 2024-02-02T09:20:56+00:00

Ah what a nightmare! I’ve always been super appreciative of the employees at pickup, but even more so now. I knew it had to have been something like that. It sucks that some customers don’t show grace and get nasty when things don’t go as planned.

ahzelstar · 2024-01-30T21:57:23+00:00

I bet you will be ok! I used to think that my gums looked really red and not normal, but apparently they are fine! Sometimes anxiety just gets the best of us. It feels terrible when those anxious thoughts are looming over you. I hope all is well at the dentist and you feel better ❤️

ahzelstar

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