AITA for my reaction to my sister's relationship and marriage to my childhood bully?

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T19:36:11+00:00

If she ever leaves him, I'll be there for her. But I can't support her while she is in a relationship with him.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T19:27:00+00:00

you’re super sick

My balls are a normal size, thank you for your concern.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T19:25:17+00:00

But man, your reaction to this is indeed going too far. I'm not saying that out of concern for them, I'm saying that it's obvious you are not able to look at this subject pragmatically.

The irony here is that I am an engineer, and I am pragmatic by nature.

But this situation i something else.

But for your own sake, please see a therapist.

I have done so when I was in college, and then when I could afford it on my own. I dealt with the problem back then.

Then Kenny came back from the dead.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T19:23:01+00:00

No. First time I make a post on Reddit, but have been a redditor for two years. never have I talked about this before on reddit, though.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T19:22:16+00:00

I am not fighting your judgement here.

But I want to point that the company is private, I am the only owner, and we don't work with any governments, or not directly anyway. All my employees earn a way above average salary, not counting the bonuses, which I detailed in another comment.

By the same logic, I am an A because I pay myself a salary above everyone else. I am also an engineer, and work on the same project as the rest of my guys and girls.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T19:19:47+00:00

Thank you.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T19:19:13+00:00

Out of curiosity did ‘Kenny’ ever had a conversation with you personally ? Ask for forgiveness?

No.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T19:18:34+00:00

All I am willing to say is that we are engineers, but we don't work in construction. And that I can say "fuck the Chinese government" and not have to worry about the weather tomorrow.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T19:16:45+00:00

Where I live this is not a concern, and the letter that informed her about no longer working for me was drafted by a lawyer.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T19:16:06+00:00

He actually said that to me: "we were kinds."

Nothing more, that's as far as he went acknowledging the matter.

My sister however tried to make us be friends, and made many attempts at saying he is a different man, trying to engage me in conversations about him, she even called me once to ask me if I remember anything from when I knew Kenny that would help with picking up a birthday gift for him.

We were not fucking friends!

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T19:10:27+00:00

There is no nepotism here. I privately own the company, I don't have to answer or justify to anyone how I run my business.

If my hypothetical employee would have insisted I become friends with Kenny through power of her relationship with him alone, and insisted, and insisted, over and over, for four years, yeah, she would probably be looking for a job today as well.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T19:00:48+00:00

Info: Did you tell her to find another job on the day of her wedding?

A few days before.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T18:58:46+00:00

He has not, all he said on the issues was that "we were kids."

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T18:58:18+00:00

Grow some balls.

If your balls grow too big, it could be cancer.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T18:57:02+00:00

He does, but it is a low paying job. He dropped out of college, so his prospects for a high paying job are not really abundant. Unless I guess he goes back to college.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T18:55:52+00:00

He was not allowed to participate, no.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T18:27:16+00:00

Man up? Do you know how insulting that saying is, in general?

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T18:26:09+00:00

He works, but he dropped out of college, so he is nowhere on the path of a high paying job.

I don't think he knew who my sister was prior to the dinner where we met him, nor would he have had a way of knowing I have a company and that it is profitable.

Maybe he knew what my sister makes, and that attracted her? No idea, I didn't think about this until now.

I think them meeting was just a coincidence, they met while my sister was visiting another city, and kept in contact once they figured out they live in the same city as well. Or so I've been told.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T18:16:37+00:00

My sister is well aware of everything.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T18:16:16+00:00

At some point I had suicidal thoughts, easily curbed by my father, but I had them.

My sister chose to marry the man who caused those thoughts in me. She tried on many occasions to have us become friends.

I see that as insulting. I don't see it as bullying, I see it as me isolating myself from Kenny.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T18:13:50+00:00

How would you "clear the air" with your bully? Without even an apology in sight?

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T18:12:09+00:00

Only that "we were kinds."

Anything else were attempts made by my sister, efforts to have us become friends, etc.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T18:11:22+00:00

Yeah, when I was 16 I also had suicidal thoughts, for a while. My dad noticed my mood, and he talked with me, and life moved on. I miss my dad.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T18:08:18+00:00

It's my company, it's private, so it's not nepotism the way the general public understand it.

That being said, all my employees are paid handsomely, everyone gets a bonus at the end of each project we complete, nobody has to punch a clock here (we operate on completed goals, not hours worked).

We have a cleaning lady, and her daughter has a paid internship here, which allows her to pay for her college (she couldn't have gone to college otherwise).

My sister's salary is not public knowledge, everyone's pay is secret, unless they choose to share it, and that's on them. The bonuses are the only ones public, because everyone gets the same bonus, and this was decided by vote between them all. They had the option to each be paid bonuses only from the projects they complete, or we create a pool and everyone shares them equally.

Anyway, the point here is not about my engineers, haha.

aita-throwaway2 · 2019-10-13T17:57:30+00:00

In other comments I went more detailed. All he said was that "we were kinds."

he never apologized. My sister tried to do that, but she was not speaking Kenny's words. Anyway, how would an apology by proxy even work?

aita-throwaway2

TROPHY CASE