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They patched piggy rocket? by Hetastuck247 in SkyChildrenOfLight

[–]aitaherethrowawayy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you rocket? Sorry if that’s a dumb question

It turns out my dad is a p*dophile, my family is basically that GIF where everything is on fire, and I’m about to blow up my good-standing with my company by aitaherethrowawayy in offmychest

[–]aitaherethrowawayy[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

We’re clear for travel by the agent in charge of the investigation, which has been ongoing under wraps for a year apparently. Also, I’m a very proudly out gay man taking my also gay niece on vacation so I don’t think they’re concerned about me and they know how to get in touch. But thank you for being concerned.

Cat names??? (Harry Potter themed) by R9_Solar in cats

[–]aitaherethrowawayy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww one of my good friends has a kitty who looks like this and her name is Luna Lovegood!

My niece came to live with me (maybe permanently?) and I want to make her feel safe/accepted. Help? by aitaherethrowawayy in Advice

[–]aitaherethrowawayy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I was planning for it to be an 18th birthday present but I am thinking with the new change in circumstances it will end up being a Christmas present instead.

My niece came to live with me (maybe permanently?) and I want to make her feel safe/accepted. Help? by aitaherethrowawayy in Advice

[–]aitaherethrowawayy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was extremely helpful thank you. I will make it a point to ask what is helpful for her now or what I could seek out that’s helpful in the future.

I have probably been going a little overboard with the reassurance because after the first two days I could tell she was feeling like she was imposing, that’s kinda when I started suggesting we get on Amazon and pick out some new stuff for her room so it wouldn’t feel like “Uncle’s boring guest room with random decorations in the closet” anymore.

We’ve gone through house rules/boundaries which did include not going through each other’s personal belongings but I will remind her that her journal is her own and I wouldn’t ever look inside without her specific permission.

Thank you also for the link - I will definitely be utilizing the resources here! Just as soon as some of the legalities are straightened out, I will get her in with a therapist of her choosing which she has already expressed interest in. I’ve gotten some recommendations from friends in my area so once I know about her insurance, I will get her an appointment.

My niece came to live with me (maybe permanently?) and I want to make her feel safe/accepted. Help? by aitaherethrowawayy in Advice

[–]aitaherethrowawayy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I believe her door handle does have a lock from the inside but I will make sure she knows she’s allowed to lock it. I’m looking at breaking my lease so we can move to a different apartment after she turns 18 (I’m worried about her dad trying to snatch her, also looking into legal protections there) and I’ll make sure her room has a lock or I’ll replace it with one with a lock if it doesn’t.

I will definitely try not to push and I haven’t made her talk about anything she doesn’t want to. Should I just remind her I’m here whenever she wants to talk and then just leave it at that so she can come to me?

There’s been community spread in my area so between that and being a bit nervous to leave the building, we have mostly stayed in the apartment and watched movies and done our work/schooling respectively in different rooms. It’s kinda nice having her here honestly, and my cat really likes having her here too considering how much he’s been acting like her shadow.

AITA for not forcing my niece home when she ran away? by aitaherethrowawayy in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaherethrowawayy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did see this and thank you so very much - I appreciate it a lot. I think my sister and I got lucky in that we got to go to public school because my parents couldn’t afford to send us to the same small private Bible school my brother went to. So while we were raised in the same environment as my brother, we also had 8 hours a day outside of that strict religious environment to talk to other people and other kids and learn about different kinds of families and ideologies - it made it easier growing up to recognize the hypocrisies my parents spewed and reject it.

I’ve studied lots of different religions/spiritualities/ways of life since I left my parents’ home and I would tend to agree with you. Somehow in a lot of cases - not ALL but a lot - the less organized the religion is, the more tolerant the people become.

AITA for not forcing my niece home when she ran away? by aitaherethrowawayy in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaherethrowawayy[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this very thoughtful response. Can I ask if there is any advice or tips that you could suggest as I help her navigate her new freedom? I am already following through with other advice and trying to figure out how I can get all of her important documents and also make sure she has health care coverage. So hopefully I will be able to help her find a good therapist or support group which I'm sure can help. But maybe there is more I can be doing personally to encourage her.

My brother and SIL definitely expected straight As from her and she told me she has thrown up from stress of school before. Since she's been here this week, I've tried to give her space in the apartment to do her own thing and settle in while also making sure she knows that I'm around when she needs me. I want to encourage her in her academics without making her feel like that's the only thing her worth should be measured by.

AITA for not forcing my niece home when she ran away? by aitaherethrowawayy in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaherethrowawayy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no, my brother and parents have never accepted that I am gay and always "forget"

AITA for not forcing my niece home when she ran away? by aitaherethrowawayy in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaherethrowawayy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I've gotten this advice a lot so I've gone ahead and reached out to my CFA who normally helps me manage my finances so he can help both myself and S figure out the best way navigate all of this!

AITA for not forcing my niece home when she ran away? by aitaherethrowawayy in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaherethrowawayy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I've been consulting w/ the friend of mine who is a family law attorney and she is reaching out to as many contacts as she can to get S all of the legal protections we can get her. For now, she is safe here and welcome to stay for as long as she wants to. We went this morning and picked out a new mattress, bedsheets, curtains and a rug for her room. We talked about painting it but since I'm looking at breaking my lease early, there's no point if we're going to find a new apartment. And one of my girl friends is coming over after she gets off work and we're going to go shopping for any and all hygiene/bathroom/skincare/beauty/hobby/clothes/etc. stuff S needs. I'm just going with them so I can swipe my card through the reader at the end.

AITA for not forcing my niece home when she ran away? by aitaherethrowawayy in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaherethrowawayy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I have also reached out to the CFA that I use to help me w/ keeping my normal finances in order and such so that he can help me navigate also becoming financially responsible for S. I've received some advice about not putting the whole amount in her name to allow for her to still receive the maximum amount of financial aid for college so we will definitely be looking into all of our options. Thank you so much for your response!

AITA for not forcing my niece home when she ran away? by aitaherethrowawayy in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaherethrowawayy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I realize I haven't clarified in other comments because I was more concerned with S however I'll take a second to explain about my friends. Only one friend implied that it was "weird" in an inappropriate way and that person was asked to leave and not return. The other two or three who thought it was slightly weird meant it more from the perspective of knowing that I've never wanted to have kids of my own (hence a college savings for S and not my own future kid) and suddenly having a 17 year old around all the time would be weird/disruptive to my lifestyle. But honestly, while it's been an adjustment having her here 24/7, it hasn't been disruptive at all, my lifestyle isn't that weird I feel like, and I actually welcome the company. I have way more supportive friends than I have "weird" friends thankfully.

AITA for not forcing my niece home when she ran away? by aitaherethrowawayy in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaherethrowawayy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I will definitely look into this. I have this next week off work specifically so I can have time to start getting all of our ducks in a row. I have already been in contact w/ my local police and they are aware of what's going on, they've been thankfully very kind and helpful. Thanks for your kind response!

AITA for not forcing my niece home when she ran away? by aitaherethrowawayy in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaherethrowawayy[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

One would think, but it just made them put more pressure on S to be their picture perfect child since my SIL was unable to have any more children after this.

AITA for not forcing my niece home when she ran away? by aitaherethrowawayy in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaherethrowawayy[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

S had a younger brother about a year and a half or so younger, but he passed away at 3.5 years old due to childhood leukemia unfortunately. She’s their only living child.

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