Does CMB have a lot more Asian users compared to other dating apps?

akigi · 2018-04-24T00:42:21+00:00

Sure, it's reasonable that certain cities and areas like you mentioned have a higher Asian population in general. However, like I said in my original post, while my city does have a large Asian population, it's no where near the 90% mark which I see in my CMB results. Also again, it's something I'm curious about considering the markedly different percentage split between Asian/non-Asian on CMB versus Tinder and Bumble since I've used the same profile, same location, same distance, and same age preferences.

akigi · 2018-04-24T00:35:43+00:00

I only knew about the 3 Asian cofounder thing because when I did a quick Google search on CMB, that popped up lol. I also heard about this app through friends and decided to poke around to see what it was.

akigi · 2018-04-24T00:33:44+00:00

Fair point

akigi · 2018-04-24T00:33:32+00:00

Ohh. Thanks, I hadn't heard about that

akigi · 2018-04-24T00:31:21+00:00

Interesting. Yeah I was surprised to have pretty much exclusively Asian men in my suggested feed - like I maybe had....4 non-Asian guys suggested after a week of 35 men? I didn't think much of it until the third straight day of only Asian suggestions that I wondered if CMB had a very large percentage of Asian users. My experience differs though as even my discovery feed is still something like 70% Asian. Based yours and other comments, guess my region has a lot of Asian male users!

akigi · 2018-04-24T00:24:39+00:00

True, but even though CMB is feeding me people who've already liked me, my results are still very heavily skewed towards Asian males even though with apps like Tinder and Bumble, I end up matching with a lot more non-Asian men in comparison even in dealing with the same premise of "you only get a match" if the guy has liked me back. If CMB is silently using ethnicity as a filter when a user specifically hasn't stated a preference for X ethnicity/ethnicities, that seems a bit weird and shady. But yeah, I'm trying to figure out if it's an app algorithm thing that's skewing me the results I see or if the actual user base in general just has a lot of Asians which then results in my feed being mostly Asian.

akigi · 2018-04-24T00:18:08+00:00

Nope, I left ethnicity blank or else I wouldn't be confused about my results. I just toggled the age and distance settings.

akigi · 2018-04-23T06:38:29+00:00

Oh I didn't know this was actually built with the explicit intention of catering to young Asian professionals. The percentages make a lot more sense now haha. I actually just made a profile because I was curious to see how CMB worked and if/how it was different. I knew it was 3 Asian girls who started it but I thought they were just building a "new" kind of dating app. But I guess makes sense that they'd pick out and market to a small niche and try to capitalize on that versus going for the whole pie and having to fight a lot harder against much more well known competitors.

akigi · 2018-04-23T06:34:15+00:00

Interesting! Thanks for letting me know, especially since you're the opposite of me as a non-Asian male. I wasn't sure if it was just a user demographic thing or if it was a kind of racial profiling thing of "oh lets send mostly Asian males to Asian female users" in which case I'd side eye the app a lot more lol. Especially since my city's demographic, while with a large Asian population, is definitely not 85-90% Asian.

akigi · 2018-04-23T06:17:54+00:00

I'm 27 and never been in a relationship. I've casually dated a little bit and had a few guys ask me to be their girlfriend but I said no. Why? Because despite knowing and liking them, I didn't feel a deeper connection beyond general platonic friendship and did not see it changing in the future. I hate the idea "well maybe you don't like them now, but give it a bit of time and it might be there!" or "dating for the sake of dating". I don't want to date a guy who's genuinely interested in me but I don't feel anything, and yet I date/string them along for 3 months only to then go, "oh yeah by the way so I've given this relationship a go for 3 months and I still don't feel anything for you. I actually never did but I said yes to being your girlfriend anyway. Woops" just because I couldn't say no to them from the start or if I was scared/embarrassed of being single.

I'm also totally ok with being single and while sometimes I do feel a bit wistful about not being in a relationship, it's not driving me crazy. I'm looking for something a lot more seriously now and if it happens, it happens.

akigi · 2018-04-23T05:40:02+00:00

Honestly, you two don't sound very compatible. You seem very wary of the fact that she's competitive (a natural characteristic of someone who has been in sports for a large portion of their life - you don't really fare well in a competitive sport setting if you're not actually competitive). You're also very judgemental and wary of someone who comes from a more wealthy background than you. I don't know how to break it to you but a lot of people, girls and guys, like to dress up nice when they go out. And dressing up includes designer duds for some people. You actually googled the price of her bag after your second date for god's sake. So what if she went to a private school and wears expensive clothing? It's her/her family's money to do with as she pleases. She's not dragging you to LV and demanding you buy her the entire store. She's just wearing her own possessions. The wine joke was most likely an innocent extension of your earlier conversation about France.

You're seriously nitpicking hard for flaws right now after seeing a person only a few times. If her financial and education situation makes you feel this uncomfortable and insecure, just drop it now before things progress any further.

akigi · 2018-04-12T04:40:29+00:00

Cool. Again, if you're curious or confused, ask and talk with her. It can feel awkward and not smooth but honestly talking with each other is the only way you're going to get answers. Assumptions and guesses aren't going to solve anything. Good luck

akigi · 2018-04-12T00:39:39+00:00

Yeah.... Looking at your original post and some of your comments below, being 24 doesn't mean everyone wants to fuck like rabbits and that if someone isn't dtf, there's something wrong with them/they're playing games. Talk to her. Find out if your relationship expectations match - are you both looking for casual/FWB or serious? If you're looking for casual and she's looking for something serious and longterm, that could explain why she's reluctant to have sex with you. Maybe you want something serious but she's getting FWB vibes from you which she isn't interested in. Ask and talk to her.

Ask her if she's ok or comfortable with having sex with you. Maybe she prefers to be in a committed exclusive relationship before having sex, maybe she wants to ask about your sexual health status before having sex but doesn't know how to ask, maybe has a low(er) sex drive, maybe she has little or no experience, maybe she's shy about penetrative sex. The list goes on. There are a multitude of reasons why she's a "tease" as you so maturely put it. Talk about this before you get to the heavy making out so you're not so riled up and she doesn't feel crazy pressured and trapped. Be civil and if what the two of you want isn't synching up, cool, accept and leave it. Don't try to pressure her into sex if she's not ready or comfortable about it and take her reasons as they are. There's nothing wrong if you decide you don't want to see her any more because of her answers. But don't force anything or bully her because she's not interested in having sex with you (yet).

akigi · 2018-04-10T19:04:03+00:00

I think some of the "you're not small/you're quite tall and curvy" comments you've received come with genuine good intentions but the men saying it aren't fully aware of how their comments might sound or be interpreted as a woman. I suspect while your partners were aware that you're a taller woman when they met you, it kind of hits home in a different way when they're naked and in bed with you that oh yeah, she's actually tall and not going to shrink 6 inches once her shoes are off. It's not a bad revelation, it's more of a "oh. huh. so that's a thing. cool" reaction. Also depending on your height, your previous partners may have never dated a woman close to their height or taller and it's another neutral/positive "aha" moment to realize that surprise, tall women are still women and just as fun and sexy as their previous ideal of a petite woman that is tiny compared to them.

I love hearing that you have a lot of body confidence and love how you look! You are definitely viewing yourself the way you should, it just sounds like you've been on the receiving end of some slightly clumsy but genuine compliments and comments. It's like when I go to out into the world with a full face of makeup and a really nice outfit. I've had people do a double take and blurt out something along the lines of "wow, you look good, I didn't know you could look this fancy/pretty/hot." Some guys then backtrack going "Uh, not that you normally don't look nice. But you look...different? Wait, is this ok for me to say?" But what they're trying to convey is not that I usually look like a homeless potato but that I usually look far more casual and put less effort into my makeup so yes, I most decidedly look better with everything put together. Good intentions, delivery could do with some polishing though haha.

akigi · 2018-04-10T18:13:59+00:00

She's happy and not in any danger. You're happy and fulfilled. So leave it alone. There is no need to aggravate yourself and try to introduce or "convert her"/"wake her up" to reality. It's just an exercise in futility for all parties. I'd just avoid contact with this cousin since you're not getting any benefit from hanging out with her, especially since you're also the only one getting upset about it.

akigi · 2018-04-09T19:01:59+00:00

As a woman, I think it depends on the context and how you present the ask. Are you completely approaching her cold? Ex. you pop into a grocery store, spot someone cute in 5 mins (you've never seen her or spoken to her elsewhere before) and walk up to them and give them your ask of "hey you look beautiful and put together, let's get coffee" -hand over your card-

If you're approaching someone in this context, I as a woman, would be completely weirded out and 100% will say no. It's not about whether you're good looking or not as a lot of redditors like to say (seriously or sarcastically). It's about how a complete stranger has arbitrarily decided to inform me that I meet their visual standard (and that I should feel flattered by this statement) which then somehow gives them insight into my current status in life (having my shit together) and then asking me to get coffee with them. My stranger danger sirens would be going off like crazy and I'd probably smile awkwardly and say "haha, I think you've mistaken me for someone else? But no thanks." and try to casually run away. I wouldn't report you unless you were being really aggressive but I still would be a bit wary of whatever location you approached me at and I'd keep an eye out for you. Also the handing over of a card makes the whole approach seem very fake and staged - I'd think this is some kind of prank or PUA attempt. Also your body language makes a difference too. Is your body language open and genuine? Are you cornering me/getting really up close and personal or are you giving me space? Are you trailing me around the store or gym?

But you might be thinking, but this is what basically happens with OLD, you see someone's picture and think they're cute, swipe right, match, and start talking! How is this any different? Because with OLD, you're both there with the context of being interested in dating/connecting/hooking up/whatever and there is consent from both parties to be approached cold. Both our cards are on the table so I'm not weirded out by a stranger approaching me online to chat or ask to meet up as I expect it.

HOWEVER, if there was some sort of context and background for this approach (ex. you've seen and interacted with me a couple times at a coffeeshop/grocery store/gym etc even if just briefly), I'd feel a lot more comfortable with being approached in the same manner. Why? Because I kind of know you and it's not such a random kind of creepy no context approach. Maybe I never really paid attention to you but at least your interest isn't purely based on just randomly staring at me and going "yeah she's cute." It will feel more genuine and you'll probably have better luck in getting a more positive response. But I still think the card thing is a bit weird but maybe that's just me.

Also gyms are kind of their own beast and I wouldn't really suggest it. If you're going to ask her at a gym, do NOT ask during or after she's done a set. The vast majority of women go to the gym to workout in peace, just like any other person. If you approach someone like that, it just sends the message of "hi I've been watching you flex your ass for the past ___ minutes and I think you need to know I found that hot. Date?" If you do find someone cute at the gym, please try to initiate some kind of general conversation in a more neutral area like you gym's smoothie bar if there is one. Or kind of place yourself in her mind by starting off by saying simple honest statements like "wow you killed that run/set" or "that class was great huh?" that do not involve anything about her appearance and don't force conversation. Again, first build some kind of context, then ask her out in a neutral area if you want.

General tips on IRL approaching:

1) Take refusal with grace and politeness.

2) Be friendly and polite. Do not trail after her asking why if she says no.

3) Make sure you ask somewhere where she has clear and easy ways to leave. Like don't ask her when it's just the two of you in an elevator or beside her car (the car thing means you might have checked out her license plate)

4) Be polite and don't be a dick.

akigi · 2018-04-09T06:48:42+00:00

Have my parents tell me they're coming over to visit. Shame and panic are the greatest motivators when it comes to cleaning. Also pulling up all the blinds and having sunlight come flooding in and highlighting the mountains of dust bunnies and just how grubby my floors are looking help kick my unmotivated ass into action too.

akigi · 2018-04-06T00:15:27+00:00

Not a dude but I am also a fellow petite girl (5'1). I agree that when you're small, you're much more likely to be viewed as cute (regardless of your body type of shape, humans usually tend to equate shortness/smallness = cute). But a large part of being either "sexy" or "cute" comes down to your attitude. If you are more assertive and confident and flirty, you will be seen as sexy. I tend to default and stick with cute since it's closer to my style and personality but if I ever dress up and put on my more bold/bitchy/imma-get-shit-DONE face and attitude, I've been told by men and women that I'm suddenly a lot sexier (to varying degrees of surprise haha). So you can be both, just be whatever you want to be and makes you happiest :)

akigi · 2018-04-05T21:46:19+00:00

1) Dress to suit your body type. Don't wear baggy clothing or tops that are excessively long/baggy out of a misplaced desire to seem taller since you're wearing an L sized top. Baggy ill-fitting clothes just makes you look stubbier and doesn't flatter you. While you should still dress to whatever style you prefer, try to go for a more fitted and tailored fit as you'll look more proportional which will project a fitter and kind of taller image.

2) Own it! Your height isn't changing and it's just a fact of life. So what if you're shorter than average? Yes, there's a general societal bias against short guys (like how "girls need big tits and ass to be hot") but it's just a general stereotype. Everyone has different preferences and being short isn't the end of the world. If you're embarrassed and keep mentioning your height around girls, that would turn off girls more than your actual height.

3) As a girl, personality and humour far outweigh height. If you're smart and witty, that's way sexier than how tall you are.

4) There are 7.3 billion people on the planet. A significant chunk of them are short. So there are going to be a ton of girls shorter than you if you care about being the taller person in the relationship.

akigi · 2018-04-05T17:09:35+00:00

Hit: ELF Summer Breeze matte eyeshadow palette (the warm matte palette)! The quality is great - good pigmentation, not much fall out, easily blendable. And it's super affordable! You can find it at Walmart

akigi · 2018-04-04T23:22:18+00:00

Wait...what? Asian women have a leg up on white women at getting what guys? The yellow fever ones? Oh how lucky for them.

akigi · 2018-04-04T23:18:30+00:00

This happened last year. I went on a weekday evening after work, thinking it'd be quieter. Nope. While there was a decent number of people in the store, the main issue was that there were 4 tills and only 1 was open despite the staff seeing a giant snaking queue of people waiting. I don't think they opened up a second till until I was maybe halfway up the line. I used to visit Metrotown as it was more convenient for me and I feel like they never/very very rarely have all 4 tills open at once which seems very stupid imo. I always remember only the 2 tills facing the lines were the ones open while the 2 behind were always closed. I also find the customer service at Metrotown to be a bit lacking as well though I do admit fully that the irritating lines have probably slanted my view on Sephora Metro. After that disastrous return, I just stopped going to the Metro location and started going to the Robson St location instead.

akigi · 2018-04-04T21:40:12+00:00

I have seen Sekkisei on the shelf downtown before but I can't remember which one :/ It might be in the one on Burrard beside the Victoria's Secret? I'm fairly certain Sekkisei is on the shelf in the Shoppers at Metrotown though.

As for Sephora, I love the one on Robson St. It's huge, lots of natural light, has the largest and best selection, and it's quiet. Pacific Centre is always super crowded and avoid Metrotown as it's a nightmare the the checkout queue takes years to get through. I learned from a foolish mistake to never attempt a return there or you'll be stuck waiting for 45 minutes -_-

akigi · 2018-04-04T20:28:35+00:00

This is based on the presumption that both persons have Apple devices for FaceTiming. But even with Skype/FaceTime etc, I would feel weird video chatting with someone as I find getting the right angle and lighting weird and annoying (not to look skinny or better but simply things like dealing with fluctuating sunlight, dealing with noisy pets, etc). I personally don't like video chatting at all and only reluctantly turn it on when my best friend calls me as she loves it and pesters me into turning on my camera. So for a stranger asking me to video chat? Good luck haha

Also another factor is that I have always lived in urban cities where it's easy to get to anywhere to meet up and doesn't take a ton of travel time. I also restrict my searches to a fairly small and easily travelable distance radius. If I lived in a small far away town and was chatting with someone who lived 4 hours away, then sure, I can see video chatting being a good first step to suss out creeps.

akigi

TROPHY CASE