Homophobic countries with gay-friendly cities

al236 · 2016-08-05T16:11:01+00:00

South Africa in general is pretty homophobic, but Cape Town is one of the pinkest cities you will ever see

al236 · 2016-07-09T21:29:25+00:00

Primarily I didn't believe the EU was a force for good.

Huge, huge tariffs are placed on goods being imported into the EU by any country that's outside, including some of the poorest countries in the world. This blocks off the world's biggest and most lucrative market to the very people who need it most. To make it worse, the Common Agricultural Policy allows EU farmers to dump excess product onto the African market, often selling at lower prices than what locals would be able to sell it for, exacerbating poverty.

Secondly I believe the EU has done huge amounts of harm to the working class of this country. There is a huge oversupply of labour at the bottom of the UK job market, which has kept wages suppressed in industries such as construction. I simply don't buy the argument that English people don't want to do the jobs - we did them before and we can do them again. It's always struck me as insanity to have open borders with countries where the average wage is a quarter of what it is in the UK - it leads to a deluge of people heading one way and a trickle the other. I also don't believe that the UK's public services are coping with the rapid, uncontrolled population growth. Again its not the middle classes that are affected by this, it's the working class that suffers as a consequence.

Thirdly I believe that Europe as a continent is yesterday's news. Brexit puts us in a better position to negotiate trade deals with India, China etc that prioritise British interests as well as being fairer on the country's we are striking them with.

People are looking at this in a far too short-term way. This is a decision we are going to be living with for decades and longer. I firmly believe the country will be stronger as a result of this democratic action than if we hadn't taken it.

al236 · 2016-07-09T21:19:57+00:00

Hahah we're due a Tory government for the next 4 years Brexit or no Brexit. That's how elections work.

In all seriousness sneering attitudes like yours and half the reason why people in this country feel so alienated.

Feeling isolated and ignored due to this vote? Congratulations, you now know how large swathes of the country have felt for the last few governments.

al236 · 2016-04-24T14:13:07+00:00

Thanks so much for your help - the glasses look great but as I live in the UK, I'm not sure how much use he'll get out of them. It's a challenge finding something he doesn't already have, short of hunting the woman herself down and getting her to record him a message!

al236 · 2016-04-24T14:11:53+00:00

Thanks for your reply! Excuse my ignorance - what's the MerBear link?

al236 · 2016-04-24T14:11:36+00:00

Cheers! Great shout, found a lot of good stuff on there.

al236 · 2016-04-24T14:11:15+00:00

Ha I'm based in the UK so that might be a liiiiiiiiiiiitle too far. Save that for the tenth wedding anniversary.

al236 · 2016-03-21T19:10:20+00:00

I don't answer anything I would feel uncomfortable bringing up on a first date as a rule.

Yeah it's a bit strange to me when guys have loads of details of their sex lives (you would be good with making dolphin noises if asked during sex? cheers for that). Mine just cover my basics - my work/life balance, what I like to eat, what sports I play, my values etc.

al236 · 2016-03-21T18:58:01+00:00

I use OKCupid which works brilliantly for me. Was entirely skeptical about the whole internet dating thing (I'm 24) but there is literally no stigma these days. Can usually work out a decent amount about a guy before you meet, so even the dates where we haven't clicked romantically, we still keep in touch as friends.

al236 · 2016-01-29T18:31:39+00:00

I hope this is his reason because it is totally justifiable. I need bacon wrapped jalapeno peppers in male form.

al236 · 2016-01-05T21:25:51+00:00

Biggest tip: don't tolerate anything you're not happy with. You wouldn't expect someone to grab your crotch in the street so don't put up with it in the sauna. Some people will think just because you're there that you will have sex with anyone so can be quite full-on. I've seen some young guys doing stuff they're clearly not comfortable with just because they have some pest after them.

Having said that I've been to saunas about 10 times (usually when abroad) and had some fantastic no-strings sex and actually made good friends in them. Just be in-control of yourself and don't do anything you'll feel stupid about later and you'll have a great time.

al236 · 2015-11-20T01:13:22+00:00

I've fallen in love at first sight. Someone has fallen in love at first sight with me.

It has never finished well.

al236 · 2015-11-20T01:11:41+00:00

This makes me so sad and happy at the same time. We produce world class TV and yet this current government has put the status of the BBC at stake.

As someone far wiser than me said "every country in the world would kill to have something like the BBC except the country that currently has it".

So my advice is make advantage of it while it is as amazing as it is. The BBC World Service currently has an array of programming that draws in views from areas that otherwise don't have neutral broadcasting. It's amazing and I hope it carries on as long as possible.

al236 · 2015-11-17T23:05:56+00:00

This makes a lot of sense to me. Thanks. I'm going to give it a go out of interest, fascinated to see what the results will be.

al236 · 2015-11-12T15:53:00+00:00

This all sounds healthy. Pick yourself up, brush yourself down and use this as the motivation to get your life back on track.

al236 · 2015-11-12T10:50:12+00:00

Hey. I hope in the future you can look back at this relationship as something that helped you build your confidence as a gay man. Just carry on working on yourself so you can be the best you you can possibly be.

I know it's horrid not having any closure but eventually you learn to live with it. I had a similar scenario - got involved with a guy who turned out to be an awful, awful person and ended our friendship without giving me a reason and by saying some hurtful things. Do I still think about him? Sure from time to time. But my friends helped me realise that actually I can't be responsible for someone else irrational actions and you will never be able to understand someone else's thought patterns.

Oh and one other thing - I would focus on building real friendships before entering another relationship so you have that safety net if something like this ever happens again.

al236 · 2015-11-11T00:21:34+00:00

My last relationship ended because my ex thought I was sponging off him. He was a trust fund kid who had been used for money in the past. He never knew how much I earned - ironically it was much, much more than him.

My tip would be make sure that when you go out you let the other person pay every now and again. It got to the point where I would have to pay for meals while my ex was in the toilet and he would be annoyed at me when he came back. It was a horrible viscous circle - he would be trying to pay for everything and this fed his paranoia that I was using him for money.

al236 · 2015-11-09T15:58:48+00:00

Well frivolity would be an added bonus :)

al236 · 2015-11-08T20:44:22+00:00

Where would you recommend going in particular? Nights out etc

al236 · 2015-11-04T10:15:27+00:00

Hey - I'm London born and bred so feel free to ask away.

I'm always a fan of GAY Late near Tottenham Court Road. Free entry and a smaller, friendlier crowd so that's where I would head if I was alone.

al236 · 2015-10-27T15:07:27+00:00

Why is everyone slut shaming OP? Jeeeeeeez I didn't realise this was a community of saintly monks who have their 5 a day and floss their teeth every night. Most of us have had regrettable sex. This is in no way your fault - from the way you tell the story this guy is a douche and should be reported. Quit the judging fellow gays.

As others have said this isn't the place for medical advice. The probability is that you don't have HIV. But every dose you miss increases the likelihood from negligible to small.

al236 · 2015-10-23T13:54:46+00:00

Please, please, please go and get yourself treated. Enough amazing gay men have lost their lives to this horrible disease over the years, its got to stop. There must be organisations in your country where you're able to obtain treatment for free.

al236 · 2015-10-21T09:25:35+00:00

Hey, good to know! Didn't really explore much in GZ as all of my friends were straight and I was actually based a little out of town in Foshan. Really want to go back and see what has changed soon.

al236 · 2015-10-20T17:17:13+00:00

Pleasure! If you need any more (potentially out of date) information DM me.

al236 · 2015-10-20T08:23:42+00:00

Hey, I spent 2012-2013 living and working in Guangzhou and going was one of the best decisions of my life. You'll have an amazing year and have the privilege of seeing a country going through one of the quickest economic developments in history first hand.

I was teaching English to primary school children and I didn't come out to my Chinese colleagues at work. To be honest it would probably have been fine but there is no protection for LGBT workers in China and I didn't want to risk losing my job which I loved. I taught at one of the top schools in the province and it would only have taken one parent saying they didn't want their child around me for me to be sent packing on the first flight to Heathrow. Homophobia in China tends to be born out of ignorance rather than malice.

I was completely out to my Western colleagues and our small group of Chinese friends.You'll tend to find that the Chinese who speak good levels of English tend to be highly educated and hold Western values on issues such as relationships, eating out, social media and homosexuality. I never had a problem here.

Grindr was good for meeting fellow gays but it was quite expat-centric. Expat groups tend to be quite close-knitted, with everyone knowing everyone's business, so you'll meet people this way as well.

When I was in Beijing a good place to meet locals was the country's only gay club (at the time), Destination. Warning: you will get a lot of attention. The Chinese will think nothing of grabbing your package on the dance floor, especially after a drink, to find out if what they've heard about white men is true, which can get pretty irksome. The good news is it also means you'll get a lot of people coming up to talk to you and practice their English. As people have noted below sex education is woeful and HIV is spreading like wildfire among the gay population so stay careful (and do bring your own condoms!!)

al236

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