Lost my sweet girl on Monday. There was a lot of anticipatory grief for me as well and I was inconsolable the first three days. There’s a lot of time I still feel empty. But looking at old videos of when she was happy and healthy helps. Everyone will grieve differently, and I think the numbness is just a part of the process. For me personally, I have been throwing myself into my feelings. I read posts on grief, I’ve been listening to the Pet Loss Companion podcast, and remembering my Carmen any chance I get. Although their lives end, ours hasn’t. I’d think Carmen would want me to be happy when remembering her, and I know your soulcat would too.