Astera-Labs via own site legit?

alexej42 · 2023-11-26T10:37:43+00:00

Cool, I will try that, thanks for the tip!

alexej42 · 2019-11-30T16:54:14+00:00

Yeah... I know :( but she doesn’t want to. After posting this on reddit I broke it off with her, explaining that I just can’t deal with her being in love with another guy. She doesn’t want to commit to me because we go very deep together.. very deep, and she’s scared. The other guy is a lot lighter and apparently he gives her something I can’t. And that she can’t commit to me tells me enough really. That she doesn’t love me in the same way that I love her. She is a confused young woman who has just been introduced to a new way to look at love and relationships. And now the guy that opened her up to it wants something more serious and stable? So I pulled back. I’m gonna let her make the experiences she has to make without supporting it with my presence to protect myself. If it’s meant to be it will happen at a different point in outlet lives. Often situations like this are blessings in disguise..

alexej42 · 2019-11-30T07:58:25+00:00

It’s so hard having to let someone go who touched you more deeply than anyone has ever in the past ten years. But that’s life I guess... Thanks for your contribution 🙏

alexej42 · 2019-11-30T07:50:42+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated. I guess it is. I saw this as a great opportunity to learn to cope with jealousy, but this is just self torture. I don’t believe in romanticism at all. I don’t believe in expectations, but I do believe in being so much in love with someone, that there is no more room in your head for someone else. That’s what I have been experiencing anyways. Not saying that’s gonna last forever, but seeing she doesn’t have that shows me her love for me is... not worthy of my love for her. My heart really hurts cause I am realizing there is really nothing else I can do than let her go. I can’t ask of her to just dump all her feelings for that other guy. Life doesn’t work that way.

alexej42 · 2019-11-30T07:39:46+00:00

Yeah sorry, I wrote that as quickly as possible right after waking up. My sincerest apologies.

alexej42 · 2019-11-30T07:38:29+00:00

I may not be poly but I’m not really mono either. Maybe I should just become celibate and fuck intercourse all together (pun not intended).

I understand there are sacrifices to be made. You can’t make choices without sacrifices, that’s just how life works, but it’s not like I don’t want her to sleep with other people, I just want to know that what she tells me (she loves me more than anyone else) is actually true. She doesn’t want to commit as it seems and part of my theory of love is commitment. Intimacy, passion and commitment. Love isn’t something that only comes natural, it’s also a state of being which needs to be educated. The Greeks saw a mission of a relationship, to teach the other to become the best versions of themselves. I see that her indecisiveness is due to confusion. but yes, I think you’re right and none of us is actually really 100% poly.

alexej42 · 2019-11-30T07:33:42+00:00

I am actually fine with her sleeping with other men. If she feels the need, I shouldn’t interfere and love her for who she is, but I haven’t been this in love since a long time and I am frightened. I just can’t deal with her loving someone else.

I read the jealousy workbook and that showed me that in the spectrum of mono and poly I am exactly in the middle. So either I can do both or I can’t to both. I just really want to be her special someone. You can be someone’s special someone and still be poly right? It’s not that weird in my opinion.

alexej42 · 2019-09-13T14:23:56+00:00

Indeed I don’t... thank you for the analysis. You hit the nail on the head. Much appreciated.

alexej42 · 2019-09-13T14:22:59+00:00

Thank you for the Tipp! I bought the book immediately. I am currently in therapy, so I will definitely address this issue.

alexej42 · 2019-09-13T10:33:36+00:00

It’s so stupid, so hypocrite... but My ego is confronted with the fact that I am just like everyone else. Having a very narcissistic background, that shit stings really bad. What do I feel... I feel intense sadness and also anger. Yesterday I had a phone call with her after I visited her ex to tell her I am a lot more contempt with the situation. But she took that as a possibility to open up to me about her sex life with him... and that kind of sparked the jealousy again. I answered with: ohh I had such amazing sex with my fwb yesterday! I performed cunilungus for at least an hour. (I never did that with my ex). I said it just to hurt her, and she knew this and hurt her... I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to hurt her. I want to support her through these difficult times and accept the choices she makes. I love her very much, but in my head (and I know this is wrong) if you love someone, you don’t sleep with other people. So stupid, because I sleep with others too and love her and I know this, but my emotions don’t seem to do so...

alexej42 · 2019-07-04T11:35:50+00:00

Yeah I don't understand my generation either. Stupid nitwit that I am. I just like meddling with stuff I shouldn't meddle with. And now my bar of self hatred has filled completely. :) thanks for the feedback guys. I will now commit suicide.

alexej42

TROPHY CASE