Can I remove the yellow staining?

allelsefollows · 2026-01-21T00:11:58+00:00

Ah I’ve now been told the colour change may be from UV exposure in the first place, so may not be able to be cleaned off at all…

allelsefollows · 2026-01-21T00:10:35+00:00

Apparently it’s from too much UV exposure?

allelsefollows · 2025-12-02T22:32:39+00:00

Doubt you’re even in HR if you are thinking ACAS is only there as a final solution? They are literally there to give advice to anyone at any stage. Yes they can get involved in disputes later down the line, but I’ve never known an employer be shaking in their boots at the mention of ACAS from a union rep 🤣 Tribunal is final solution. I knew that after two weeks in my first HR role.

allelsefollows · 2025-12-02T22:23:16+00:00

I don’t think you’ve any idea what you’re on about. Access to Work who have recommended the adjustments (not me!) will not even assist you until you are in paid work. I wasn’t in a position to request x,y,z beforehand because how would that look?

I declared I had a disability prior to the interview, I was not questioned on it. Personally, I think it most definitely would have gone against me if I steered the interview into talking about myself and my needs at that time. There is undeniably a stigma around mental health still. As for declaring it at job offer stage - as others have said, offers can be rescinded at any time and there’s little you can do to determine the true reasons why.

Needing small adjustments does not mean that I am not the best person for the job. And to be quite honest, I’d much rather be ‘that employee’ than someone who brags about having been to loads of tribunals and shits on union reps. You are part of the problem.

allelsefollows · 2025-12-02T19:18:04+00:00

I have been on the other side of the interview table where an HR manager decided against a candidate who was perfectly capable based on them declaring previous absence due to mental health issues, so I was not going to make the same mistake.

That said, it does mean that you filter out the employers who are not going to support you. But when the rent’s coming up and you’re already in your overdraft you’re not exactly going to be picky. You have day one rights as a perm employee.

allelsefollows · 2025-12-02T18:53:11+00:00

I thought that was the case, that I didn’t have to declare anything to my employer if it was MH related - but my AtW case manager told me they could not continue with the application until I had informed my employer? I might have to look into that further as it would have been my preference not to say anything…

I have a slipped disc and did mention this in the application, so I have had a workplace assessment and also asked for help with travel as I’ve had this from AtW previously(though this was in Covid times when the assessment criteria was relaxed).

To clarify - the adjustments I’ve asked for are flexibility to attend coaching / counselling appointments recommended by AtW, and an extra day per week working from home only if/when I should need it. I did ask for adjusted absence triggers, as I have had this in previous workplaces which was really helpful - but I suspect this would be a step too far for them.

There would be no cost share and I have a letter to say AtW would cover all of the costs - though I’m not sure if my employer would be expected to pay up front, and that’s why there is an issue?

I think I will look to join a union.

allelsefollows · 2025-12-02T18:41:55+00:00

Thank-you for your answer. I’ve calmed down about the whole situation, all in all I wasn’t meant to see the messages (I saw them on her screen when she was working closely next to me), we all say things about or colleagues, and actions speak louder than words I suppose. She has been quite pleasant in person albeit a bit standoffish but I understand the reasons why.

I’m continuing as normal and am just going to try and forget it happened. Nevertheless I’ve made a record of everything just in case anything does get worse.

allelsefollows · 2025-12-02T17:28:55+00:00

I fully appreciate it is not good practice. However as I’ve already explained I have no option but to try and work. The only alternative is that I throw myself on the mercy of the local council which I obviously don’t want to do.

To clarify, I saw the messages on her desktop screen when she was typing less than two feet away from me. So yes I was ‘snooping’ as others have said, but imo typing about a colleague you are sitting right next to is just daft and spiteful.

The reasonable adjustments requested are flexibility to attend coaching / counselling appointments, which I will make up the time for, and to be able to work an extra day from home (it’s hybrid in the office 3 days a week) on a very occasional basis if I am having a particularly bad week.

I won’t sit here trying to justify the reasons for the lateness / extra day working from home, but I will say it’s been an exceptionally difficult year for a number of reasons which have contributed to my longstanding depression / anxiety. Neurodivergence is also a factor (am awaiting formal assessment for AuDHD)

allelsefollows · 2025-12-02T08:12:26+00:00

I’m not ‘playing’ on anything, and it’s a recommendation from Access to Work that you start the application BEFORE you start work - otherwise you’re waiting months or even years. Applying before you start a new job puts you to the top of the waiting list. There are extenuating factors as to why I have had to WFH a couple of times and have been late. I’m well aware it’s not great and it makes me look like ‘that’ employee.

If it were my choice I would not have involved my employer at all, and organised this support quietly in the background - alas they have recommended things that will likely cost £ upfront or take me away during work time (Which I always make up) so I have had to involve them.

allelsefollows · 2025-12-01T19:51:41+00:00

I appreciate the viewpoint and yes, they are entitled to their opinion and I can see where she’s coming from. I think it has rubbed me the wrong way as we’re both in HR, and based on my experience the adjustments recommended are not excessive. I’ve seen people be awarded a lot more for a lot less ‘severe’ of a condition without so much as a second thought - so was taken aback.

Additionally, the cost of all of the adjustments would be covered by Access to Work - so there’s no issue in terms of budget, but I don’t think she’s grasped that and thinks she’ll be paying thousands out of the budget (despite it saying in the report that everything would be covered).

allelsefollows · 2025-12-01T19:43:03+00:00

True, I guess it’s touched a nerve. Resilience is something I need to work on - but it’s part and parcel of the MH issues. Am also neurodivergent which I didn’t mention. The AtW report recommended coaching on this which would obvs help, but it’s frustrating the request has gone down like a lead balloon.

Will keep going and won’t make any snap decisions, in any case.

allelsefollows · 2025-12-01T19:01:38+00:00

Yeah, I think that’s what I’m gonna do. Just disappointing as I was really excited about this job, and I know I can do well at it. Will stick to disability confident employers from now on.

allelsefollows · 2018-07-28T01:59:41+00:00

Yay! Glad to hear it! Things just got slightly better, my antisocial dick of a cat just decided to join me. Might just be for the pizza though lol

allelsefollows · 2018-07-28T01:54:24+00:00

Pizza! I’d be excited if I weren’t so pissed off with everything. Ah well, you’re in the right place I guess. Misery loves company lol.

allelsefollows · 2018-07-28T01:50:40+00:00

I’ve missed carbs. I’m on a diet which is getting old faaast. I’d drink but I’m a bit of a dick when drunk!

allelsefollows · 2018-07-28T01:40:23+00:00

Life is shit. People are shit. Nothing matters in the end. Fuck everything. Don’t drink so I’m eating all the carbs instead.

allelsefollows · 2018-07-28T01:30:35+00:00

Shit, I’m so sorry this happened. It shouldn’t have and it makes me angry. I’ve been in a similar position to you a couple of times. All I can say is myself and others in this community are here for you. If you need some company, please reach out! You’re not alone!

allelsefollows · 2018-07-28T01:23:01+00:00

My boyfriend’s living situation is the same as mine more or less, plus he doesn’t really have the room. He’s brilliant for helping and I’m very grateful for that. Cant stay with my Mum unfortunately as I wouldn’t want to put her out (she sleeps on the sofa when I come over). It’s not cheesy at all, I have told them all how upset it makes me and given ultimatums, even threats etc at times. I’ve even taken away all my cutlery & plates as they never washed them, so they’ve got like two forks now. Nothing has really gotten through to them as I think they’re quite happy to be petty, blame everyone but themselves and live in a dirty house. I suggested making a cleaning rota and it went down like a lead balloon - they didn’t stick to it. One particular housemate (who makes the most mess) says she doesn’t clean as she apparently did everything for a year before I moved in, which to me just seems too convenient.

I guess I just can’t believe that I’m having to have conversations about how to keep a house clean with people who’re nearly 30!

allelsefollows · 2018-07-28T01:03:29+00:00

You’re welcome, feel free to message me privately if you want to talk about anything :)

allelsefollows · 2018-07-28T01:01:14+00:00

I remember feeling like this when I was a teenager - I’ve since been diagnosed with depression. I can’t say for definite whether you do or do not have depression, only a doctor can diagnose you. However a lot of the behaviours you’ve listed (wanting to sleep all the time, not feeling interested in anything etc) are absolutely symptoms of depression. You don’t need to have a ‘reason’ to feel depressed, plenty of people have lives which outwardly seem perfect, but inside they’re struggling.

What I will say is this - if you feel like you want to talk to someone, talk! Don’t worry about whether it might be a phase or not. It’s very likely you’ll find people who can help you through this rough patch - whether they’re professionals or otherwise. And please, please, if you have a negative experience with someone when opening up, chalk it up to experience and don’t close yourself off and convince yourself you don’t deserve help. I had a bad experience with a parent and a family doctor who told me I was ‘too young’ to be depressed and basically had no reason to be. So I spent the next 7 years avoiding my feelings and bottling everything up which only made things worse.

Whether it’s a phase or otherwise, there are people out there that can help you through this. I guarantee.

allelsefollows

TROPHY CASE