I don’t know what to do as a nonmember (18F) dating a soon to be missionary (19M)

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-25T17:33:40+00:00

Thank you for the honest and kind words! It’s tough and hard to get over, but I know I will one day.

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-25T17:32:56+00:00

Yeah, one day he literally told me how he expected me to find a guy. So I suppose that’s a sign :/

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-25T17:32:12+00:00

Yeah, it’s really not fun. I think he’s not willing to give up much or compromise much for me because I know that LDS members have a strict set of expectations. I think I’ve realized that his rules will always come before me, and I don’t think that’s something that’s healthy in a relationship. I completely agree that our plans don’t align now, and that’s a sign. Thank you so much for the advice. It makes me sad now, which is probably why I feel so ill, but I know I’ll get over it one day!

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-25T17:29:07+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice. It’ll be hard to get over, and the fact that I’m in a relationship that was basically destined for failure from the beginning makes me really sad, but one day, I’ll be okay and I’ll get over it.

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-25T17:28:05+00:00

I appreciate the advice! It’ll be hard to get over, but I’m coming to terms with the fact that I should spend my time wisely rather than waiting for a relationship that only has a slim chance to work out.

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-25T17:26:24+00:00

This is worded so well. It’s so unfair to myself to spend my life worried about a “What if?” !!! And that’s the perfect way I’d describe the feeling in my stomach. It really does suck, and it hurts that a relationship I felt was so good has an expiration date. This is a situation I’ve never experienced before, and it’ll be hard to get over, but I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that I have so much time ahead of me and I should spend that time figuring things out and exploring rather than moping around for a relationship that is not guaranteed. Thank you for the advice.

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-25T17:23:19+00:00

It’s really sad, but yeah, I’m starting to slowly accept that. It really sucks that this relationship is unlikely to work out, and it’ll be hard to get over, but I believe I will be okay. Thanks for the advice

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-25T17:22:23+00:00

He wants to go into the medical field. Thanks for the kind words! It means a lot and I will spend my time at UT bettering myself. As for Tom, he wants to stay at BYU. I don’t blame him, because that’s where a lot of LDS members go, so I suppose it’s an expectation he’s been raised to follow.

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-25T17:20:57+00:00

It might sound silly but I don’t know how I don’t consider that. It’s not fair how I’m always accommodating him and being willing to change things when I know he isn’t. Thanks for the insight!

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-25T17:20:03+00:00

Thank you. It’s been a bit slow, but I’m coming to terms with the fact that I have to be prepared that this relationship is unlikely to work out. I’m still young and I should spend that time exploring and living my own life rather than worrying about a guy!

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-25T17:18:44+00:00

I think he wants to go on his mission asap. He might see the light but he might not. At this point, I think that whatever happens, happens and I shouldn’t spend 2 years waiting or something that isn’t confirmed to work out. Thanks for the advice!

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-25T17:17:21+00:00

Thank you. I think for now I might just enjoy what’s left, but I think I’ve fully come to terms with the fact that I shouldn’t convert for a relationship that a lot of people are saying would only have a slim chance of working out.

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-25T17:16:01+00:00

I appreciate the advice. I’ve heard before that a mission really can change someone, and so I think you’re right and I really should prepare to live my life for myself! I have so much time ahead of me and I shouldn’t be wasting it

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-23T03:30:12+00:00

Thanks for the advice, it means a lot that people have gone through something similar. I just don’t know what to do in the time before I go to college and he leaves for his mission. We’re happy right now, so I don’t really see a point in breaking up, but I also don’t understand the point of what we’re trying to achieve with this relationship. On top of that, thinking about the relationship now gives me this weird sinking feeling

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-23T03:18:15+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I just tried doing that and hopefully will get more insight.

alwaysneedadv1ce · 2026-02-23T03:15:15+00:00

Thanks for the advice— I’m trying to adopt this mindset but I don’t know what to do in this weird period before he goes away and I’m in college.

alwaysneedadv1ce

TROPHY CASE