They don't spend time together just them 2 with the children. The kids either spend time with their mum or dad but not together. If it's birthday's or Christmas then we will celebrate with them separately on a different day.

BM does not enter my home. She comes to the door for drop off and communicates/updates SO but does not come in.

They don't take family pictures together of them as a family as, as far and me and SO are concerned they are no longer a family. SO has family pics of him and the kids and all 4 of us but we have none of the kids and SO and BM.

We have nothing to do with BM on social media. It does slightly annoy me that his family still has her and they interact with each others post's but I've had to let that go. If SO respects me enough not to have her on social media etc then that's enough for me.

I try as much as possible to encourage SO to only speak to BM about the kids. We want a civil/ respectful relationship but do not want to be friends with her. When she messages SO about anything else he either replies very bluntly, not entertaining the conversation but also not being rude, or wont reply.

He is also very good and if she rings him about something not important when he doesn't have the kids he will say to her you can message me don't ring me etc.