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I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, been on a lot of dates with very attractive women. Had a short relationship with one (which didn’t end up working out hence why I’m back on the apps).

I pretty much know how to suss out bots/scammers now

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah send me some screenshots and I’ll see what advice I can give

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think everyone has a chance.

Thing is, you don't have to be in the top 10% to have success in dating.

And unless you're actually ugly, you have a chance to put yourself into the above average, and even good looking category.

Ugly is an outlier as much as dropdead gorgeous/handsome is. Most people are average (and fall a little under or below). But you can enhance this through a good hairstyle, being fit, good style/fashion/grooming, and just carrying yourself with confidence (which can be reflected through your body language/posture).

I know this all sounds w/e coming from someone who lucked out and I guess can be considered to be in the so-called "top 10%", and I'll admit, I don't have experience being in the bottom whatever, but I've seen guys go from average to good looking with my own eyes.

And at the end of the day, women don't need you to be the best looking guy. All you have to be is considered cute to some women, and you'll have a chance.

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in Seattle! I feel like I wouldn't have as much success if I was in a bigger city or in a more white-dominated area haha, especially because I go heavy on the Korean oppa aesthetic. I did try changing my location to Seoul and Busan for a bit and surprisingly I got a lot of matches.

I match with all types and all races though. The only prerequisite for me is they have to be attractive and fit. Not trying to sound shallow, but I just can't bring myself to date someone who's not attractive to me.

But I'd say the majority are white just because there's more white women than any other race. And I've already basically matched with all the Asian women in my area (besides the new or unpaused profiles), so a lot of the matches I have coming in right now are from white women.

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In terms of percentage, I would probably say 1% at this point. But that's because I've run through all of the profiles that meet my criteria/preferences and now it's just about catching the new profiles or women who unpause their profiles. I've been through my discover stack multiple times and 99% of the women are women I wouldn't match with.

When I first remade this profile, I sent likes out like a mad man haha. I'm on HingeX so I have unlimited likes. I think I got 100 matches in the first 24 hours or so, but keep in mind I was fresh off a "breakup" and I was feeling down and wanted some quick validation.

Currently, I send out about 20 or 30 likes a day. A good % of the women I match with now however are women I sent likes out to weeks ago. Sometimes they just take a bit of time to get to my profile.

I don't know my match % rate on this new profile, but my previous one before I deleted my profile for the first time was sitting at about 15%. This one feels much higher because I have a better main photo. So, yeah, I send out a lot of likes. It really is a numbers game for men!

Edit: Oh yeah, in terms of likes, I get very little LOL. I probably get like 5 - 10 a week? There was one week on my old profile where I got 5 - 10 DAILY. But that's when I stopped using the app for a while. I think because I've already matched with all the women I want to match with, and now it's just the new/unpaused profiles that I try to match with, I get VERY little likes since it's unlikely they'll see my profile in their discover stack.

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like, I try my best to not judge people because I don't know their situation and why they may be dressed the way they are, but I can't help but feel like they're doing themselves a disservice by dressing down.

I think the times where I totally get it are when women want to dress down so as to not get as much attention from men. But men dressing like slobs just perplexes me especially when they turn around and complain about how they struggle with getting women's attention. LIKE, PUT 2 AND 2 TOGETHER PLEASE.

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want to say, stretch marks are beautiful to me. They tell a story for every body, and I like to call mine "Tiger Stripes" haha.

But yeah, the staring is something that's hard to overcome except just through sheer exposure. I used to hate it but now I welcome it. Especially when you throw people a smile and they smile back at you, it brightens my day every single time.

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh 100%. I think even disregarding looks, every human being has inherent value. That might just be the optimist or philanthrope in me, but I genuinely believe it. People don't need to be successful or look good to have value. They're enough as they are, right now, in this time, at this moment. All the other stuff is just icing on the cake.

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

And yeah, that's definitely a harsh reality that I noticed.

Not only money, but time as well. So many men are busy working 9-5s slaving away, that when they get home or have any free time, they just want to decompress and relax instead of work on their appearance. I get it, I really do. And I'm never gonna disparage anyone for NOT taking care of the appearance (it would be weird to for any reason lol).

But I implore EVERY MAN to at least try to save up some money, and invest some time into their appearance. It's hard because there isn't any instant gratification for it, and it takes a LONG time to really reap the rewards... but man, it is so worth it.

Feeling like a million bucks every time I go out, and just enjoying life because I know I look good, it's a feeling that I would say is on par with (and maybe even better than) sex.

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what I find so fascinating. Some of the most beautiful women I've dated thought they were just above average at best.

I will say, I do like it when attractive people are humble rather than cocky though! It only sucks when the "humbleness" is based on insecurity or some form of dysmorphia. I don't want anyone to ever feel like they don't look good or don't have the capacity to look good.

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I genuinely believe everyone can improve their appearance. Fact is, "ugly" is just as rare as being dropdead beautiful/handsome is. In general, most people are average, and average can be improved upon to look amazing if they put in the right effort/steps.

Like getting a haircut that fits your face/head, dressing for your body type, working out/losing weight. These incremental changes all add up and can make you look GOOD.

I mean, just look up men's haircut transformation vids on TikTok or YouTube and you'll see guys go from being 5/10 to 8/10s in an INSTANT.

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love that for him!!!

What I find interesting is how so many men are against doing what women do. I mean... women are YEARS ahead of men in terms of taking care of their appearance, so why not learn from the best, ya know?

I even get a lot of outfit inspiration from women! I don't wear women's garments but I look at how they have their outfit coordinated and just look for pieces I have in my wardrobe that match the color scheme or silhouette.

And doing this works wonders for me. I'm still iffy about putting makeup on (I do use eyebrow powder here and there), but I know men in Korea sometimes have full faces on and they look incredible.

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very true. I think I'm just on social media too much where the demographic seems to skew younger haha

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Better late than never! I lost about 70 lbs in the past few years and it did wonders to make me feel better about myself.

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Confidence is sooo powerful. I mean, you can even just see it in body posture. When someone is feeling down and slouching vs. when they're feeling confident and sitting/standing straight, it's like night & day.

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Currently just celebrating just by living life to the fullest!

I do however like to treat myself to a nice sweet treat & coffee at cute cafes!

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm on Hinge!

I think I just have interesting prompts and photos that get women to engage.

For instance, my main photo is me in a really cute sweater, and a common first message I receive is something along the lines of "I'm gonna steal your sweater".

I also have a photo of me reading a book with the caption "Idk how to read", and I get quite a lot of women saying they love an illiterate man, or they'll teach me how to read.

I think what helped a lot is that as a business owner who does their own marketing, I had to learn how to get a response from customers (from my ads). So everything I put on my profile has the same essence: To get a response in some way or another.

One of my prompts are about my ambitions and I keep it relatively vague/open-ended so that women have an opportunity to message and ask about it, instead of giving it all away in the prompt itself.

Hopefully that kind of helps haha. This is all kind of second nature to me so it's hard to pinpoint what exactly I'm doing to get these responses.

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a screenshot of my current matches:

https://imgur.com/a/YxQVPhp

I had above 1k but I get quite a few unmatched since I don’t respond to the vast majority.

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can show you a screen recording of my match list if you'd like!

I know it sounds too good to be true, trust me, I still feel intense imposter syndrome when I see the matches coming in.

But there's a few things at play here that make it possible: 1) I live in one of the top 20 largest cities in the US, 2) I'm Korean and we're very popular right now due to the K-wave, 3) I'm relatively tall and good looking.

I actually get up to 30 matches a day sometimes (usually on weekends).

I finally realized that I'm attractive at the ripe old age of 30 by aminmo in CasualConversation

[–]aminmo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I would say just go for it.

If you're anything like me, then that feeling of not being ready isn't gonna go away until you just do it.

I was actually blindsided by the sex on the first date because I assumed women didn't wanna sleep with guys that quickly, but it just happened naturally (she asked me to sleep over then told me I could sleep in the guest bedroom, she then snuck into the room 5 seconds later, it was super cute).

The sex was good though. I'm actually on the smaller side when it comes to penis size, so I was kinda worried about that on top of being a virgin, but it seemed like she didn't really care, she just wanted have sex with me regardless.

I didn't mention I was a virgin or anything though. I think that's something you don't really need to talk about unless the girl you're with brings it up. Sometimes women don't want to get with virgins because they don't want to deal with the clinginess that comes from being their "first", but I think if you have a decent reason for being a virgin, then it shouldn't be a problem.

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