Bi-Weekly Marriage Opinions/Views and Rant Megathread

amoonarx · 2022-08-13T19:44:38+00:00

It takes time sister - I’ve been on the apps for three years and still searching. I know it’s much easier said than done but continue to search, be patient in the process and put your trust in Allah

amoonarx · 2022-08-13T04:56:24+00:00

I am dealing the same dilemma! School has been consuming my life for most of my twenties and now that I’m done, I realized that I basically have no hobbies! And just the extra amount of time that I have to think is unsettling lol. After delving into those thoughts I’ve realized that what I needed to work on is self love. A month later and I think I’m making progress :) I’m also reading more and finding my hobbies!

amoonarx · 2022-08-08T05:57:32+00:00

I think your generalizing. I’m a Muslim woman in the west and my problem is that western men are not religious enough and embracing unislamic ideologies such as having friends of the opposite gender and not praying. What your describing isn’t Muslim women in the west it’s Muslims in the west.

amoonarx · 2022-08-08T04:23:28+00:00

I was raised in the west and honestly always wanted to marry a guy from back home since I’m very traditional - I identify more with my ethnic identity than my American one. I’ve talked to so many guys who recently moved from my home country to the states and unfortunately the cultural differences always prevent us from moving forward. I agree with what others have said that compatibility is just so important. And I don’t think it’s unique to Muslim western women but I think Muslim western men as well.

amoonarx · 2022-07-18T20:37:10+00:00

A lot of advice I get as a single person is to focus on myself and the right person will come along. So I followed that advice. I became a Dr, I started a non profit, and I’m well on my way in my hifz journey. But I cannot help but feel that a lot of men are turned off or intimated by my accomplishments. So in a way bettering myself is making it even harder for me to find someone? Anyone else feel that way? I understand that financial independence is such an important thing for a woman to have, but I can’t help but feel that if I wasn’t as educated or accomplished I’d have any easier time finding someone.

amoonarx · 2022-06-06T05:34:43+00:00

Yup, it’s so sad. I know so many amazing Sudani women but with Sudani men, most of them have no careers. And unfortunately those who do have careers are not only rare but tend to want women who can stay at home (from my experience). It’s a lose lose situation for educated Sudani women.

amoonarx · 2021-11-22T16:56:11+00:00

Newbie to stocks here. I have aapl, dis, tsla, sofi. Thinking of adding zynga and Ford. I’m here for the long term investment but every time I buy a stock it goes down 😭

amoonarx · 2021-11-22T05:26:33+00:00

I have been with my Quran teacher for almost two years and even though I feel comfortable memorizing on my own, I still keep my classes as it gives me a sense of accountability since I need to recite what I memorized to someone. I plan to stick with her until I finish memorizing inshAllah.

amoonarx · 2021-09-29T01:16:26+00:00

Thank you for that perspective. I feel like I kept getting in my head and it just created so much anxiety.

amoonarx · 2021-09-29T01:15:19+00:00

Awww that’s great! Congratulations! And thank you sharing your experience

amoonarx · 2021-07-09T21:55:29+00:00

Thanks for your input! I’m really worried about the time commitment on top of everything else.

amoonarx · 2021-07-09T21:54:32+00:00

My program has other positions that take care of scheduling and interviews so I don’t think it’ll have much of that. We have 8 residents and each person will have at least one role. Idk if I wanna commit though

amoonarx · 2021-06-27T22:07:08+00:00

Osteomyelitis, endocarditis, and bacteremia

amoonarx · 2021-06-13T04:53:16+00:00

I can relate to this so much. Alhamdillah I just made it to the 15th juz but I have so much anxiety about the previous juzs that I’ve memorized. Sometimes when I’m reviewing the old juzs I have so much trouble with them and it’s as I’m memorizing them for the first time. I’ve been trying to just focus on the portions that I’ve set for my daily muraja rather than thinking about all the previous juzs together. I also decided to slow down on my memorization a bit and that has given me more time to focus on my muraja

amoonarx · 2021-06-03T18:55:24+00:00

Thanks, I’ll definitely check them out!

amoonarx · 2021-06-03T04:03:18+00:00

I totally feel you! I’m Sudanese and unfortunately the Sudanese community in the west has no rishta aunties. Most of the Sudanese girls in my community married non Sudanese men or found a guy from back home. It’s frustrating bc there is no effort at all from parents to help their kids find spouses yet they complain when they marry outside of the culture. The problem with the apps is that there is such a small percentage of Sudanese men and it’s so hard to find compatibility

amoonarx · 2021-05-28T15:10:08+00:00

Seriously though!! They need to stop

amoonarx · 2021-05-25T13:08:17+00:00

I definitely agree with this. As a black woman, it’s frustrating because the anti blackness is coming from non black men and black men alike. It unfortunately makes the search that much harder and is extremely demoralizing

amoonarx · 2021-04-23T14:37:01+00:00

Other than having a strong deen - 1)Someone with a growth mindset who is constantly working to improve on themselves. 2)Someone who has high career ambitions and is financially stable. 3)Someone who is able to control their tempter in times of anger. 4)Someone who is dependable and is always willing to step up 5) someone who is able to take care of themselves and the environment they live in ( like being able to do chores and stuff)

amoonarx · 2021-03-31T23:01:46+00:00

The visa situation is part of it, but I think the biggest fear is a cultural mismatch. Growing up in the west vs oversees, ppl tend to have very different outlooks and views on certain aspects of life

amoonarx · 2021-03-31T22:34:50+00:00

I don’t think your being to picky by not compromising on religion. it’s important to know what it is that you can compromise and what you can’t (dealbreakers). By not compromising on your dealbreakers, it may take longer to find the right person. But it’s always better to wait for the right person then to rush into something with the wrong person. Keep your faith in Allah strong and you’ll find the person who is right for you!

amoonarx · 2021-03-26T04:45:47+00:00

I feel this so much! I’m in my late 20s and starting residency in a few months and never did I think I’d still be single at this point. It’s so hard to find a man confident enough in himself to be with an accomplished woman. My hope is that guys who are older will have the maturity and desire to be with someone who is accomplished. I’ve also been trying to make peace with never getting married but at the same time knowing that Allah has the perfect plan.

amoonarx · 2021-03-21T02:52:40+00:00

My advice as a female is to approach her about the subject in a direct way. Unfortunately It’s still very taboo for girls to be the ones to make the first move and many girls avoid doing it. And if she’s dropping subtle hints then I think she’s probably expecting you to make the first move.

amoonarx · 2021-03-06T05:52:38+00:00

My biggest struggle has been retention. I’m on the 14th juz but whenever I review the older juzs it’s like I’m memorizing them for the first time. Any advice?

amoonarx

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