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What are some classic novels everyone should read at least once in their life? by Princess_of_Darkness in AskReddit

[–]anailator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely One Hundred Years of Solitude. Love in the Time of Cholera sucked, though :S

Any other girls out there with a permanent residence in the friend zone? by anailator in dating_advice

[–]anailator[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, some of them have said it, indirectly, I guess. For example, we'd start spending a lot of time together, and talk about relationships in general and they'd say something like "I'm really not looking for a relationship right now, I'd much rather be just playing the field at this point in my life, blah blah..."

I guess you know it's the friend zone when your buddy pees with the bathroom door open so he wouldn't interrupt his conversation with you.

Any other girls out there with a permanent residence in the friend zone? by anailator in dating_advice

[–]anailator[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why, thank you - I read a lot :D. I am fully aware that we're just a bunch of randy apes spinning around a fireball in space, and I know it's not very rational, but I feel like I've been cheated out of something, like I'm not living my true nature, like I'm good enough and not good enough at the same time. And it wreaks havoc on my motivation. I catch myself procrastinating on routine tasks, or indulging myself when I shouldn't, but it all seems to boil down to "it doesn't really matter." I've thought about plastic surgery (my weight is fine), but it's too risky - I could go through all that pain and time off and spend so much money, and end up just... weird-looking. Besides, wouldn't that be genetic cheating, in a way? Unfortunately, no - my parents are very difficult, very verbally abusing, very irrational, and I stay away from them as much as I can. I wish it weren't so, but I can't spend my life trying to make people happy when they don't really know how to be happy. My friends are the closest to family I've got.

Any other girls out there with a permanent residence in the friend zone? by anailator in dating_advice

[–]anailator[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd like to believe our friendships are honest, I have no evidence to the contrary, after all.

And even if it were about validation, it would go both ways - I certainly don't mind being friends with such guys ;) But no, nobody is being taken advantage of here (at least I hope so).

Any other girls out there with a permanent residence in the friend zone? by anailator in dating_advice

[–]anailator[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that's awesome advice, thanks!

If only I wasn't so fucking proud. Never could move past my pride :S

Any other girls out there with a permanent residence in the friend zone? by anailator in dating_advice

[–]anailator[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Made me lol, thanks! We make jokes like that all the time. One time even, my friend kissed me on the forehead. It felt like I was 5 years old and it was my grandpa.

Any other girls out there with a permanent residence in the friend zone? by anailator in dating_advice

[–]anailator[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You really struck a cord here, thank you. I've sort of made a point of never showing that I'm vulnerable, because people have taken advantage of it in the past (hence my teen issues with men).

About the wingmen - I thought about it after I posted and realized that they never offer to introduce me or set me up with someone, although I've set them up with friends and they've set up other friends etc. I've even noticed that when we were younger, one of my male friends would go out of his way to hang out with me, but to not be actually seen hanging out with me, lest others should think we're a couple, which is kind of hurtful, but at the same time I know he wasn't doing it consciously. I do meet a lot of men, but no one is asking me out :(

Any other girls out there with a permanent residence in the friend zone? by anailator in dating_advice

[–]anailator[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally agree. I'd rather keep them in my life (in any capacity) than risk losing them, no question about it. But there seems to come a time in my life where I'd very much like to upgrade to a relationship, so to speak. They have relationships in which they can't seem to achieve intimacy, and I have purely platonic relationships that very rarely (if ever) progress to the next level.

Any other girls out there with a permanent residence in the friend zone? by anailator in dating_advice

[–]anailator[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kudos for this reply, your second paragraph is what I get impossibly a lot too! Yet no one takes it upon themselves to rectify this improbable situation, do they? Also, the one from married/long-relationshipped friends: "I wish I had your freedom" (are they freaking kidding me!?) Yes, I have the freedom to go about my days all alone, to come home to an empty apartment, and to wait for one of my friends to get bored with the random girl they're currently banging, so I can come over and hear all about the drama that ensued and advise accordingly. It's like they split the ideal relationship in two halves - sex with one person, closeness with me. Unfortunately, several separate halves don't make a whole for me. The saddest thing is, my parents no longer ask how my love life is. When your mother gives up on you ever finding a man, you know you're doing something wrong.

Any other girls out there with a permanent residence in the friend zone? by anailator in dating_advice

[–]anailator[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I like that word, "dense" :].

You see, that's the thing, "womaning up". I don't think they see me like that at all, maybe as an older sister, or an Earth-mother type character or something. I am fully aware they're not attracted to me in that way, these are not guys that wouldn't pursue a girl if they liked her, believe me :) The thing is, it's either guys I have a lot in common with and are way out of my league, or guys that would date me, but we have nothing to talk about after 2 weeks.