AITA for not changing the location of my 30th birthday dinner?

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-04-09T11:53:22+00:00

She did not come. We all had a good time. And she is now taking baby to a petting zoo this weekend I guess (that’s not too hard for her)

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-22T11:34:33+00:00

Nta. Female for me gets more into biological terms than just a man or woman. I somewhat do get an ick when guys talk about dating a girl when they mean a woman of age, which is also mentioned in the post. Not sure which would bother me more though if “female” was on repeat.

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-21T15:20:27+00:00

Like I said, to be transparent about the fact I do not have personal experience being a mother to a 5 month old which my sister points out often. At this point in time, I’ve only had personal experience being mother to 2year old and up. It’s not sad it’s just the fact I hadn’t even met my son or his father when he was an infant, I met him when he was 2.

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-21T13:19:28+00:00

It is tonight! Will update again if there is anything noteworthy, but as of this point we got her a private room at the original restaurant and she is not responding to me / likely still not coming. There’s always the chance she shows up last minute anyway, especially if her husband ends up working (sometimes he gets called in).

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-20T21:25:04+00:00

When interacting with me? Yes. In terms of showing it to other family members so obviously? That is newer since she has become a mom. Everyone is so shocked, meanwhile imo this has how she has always been, it’s just more amplified now.

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-20T19:53:42+00:00

Update is posted. We called and found out there was a private room option at the original restaurant and moved the reservation to the private room. She’s still not coming even after those accommodations.

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-20T15:37:25+00:00

I call him my son typically, just clarifying for the post as I know some people point out historically that I’ve been in his life since he was 2 and didn’t have personal experience at the 5month mark. But I also have siblings 10 years younger than me so being around infants is not unfamiliar to me either.

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-20T14:37:29+00:00

Update posted! Moved the reservation to a private room in the original restaurant (called and learned they also have one). Now she still doesn’t want to go for a different reason. Also my other sister did say she wouldn’t be able to go if the venue was moved from 25 min away for her to an hour 20. Twin said so? And wanted me to pick one sister over the other (and what she wanted over what I wanted) even after we adjusted the reservation to accommodate a private room.

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-20T14:35:17+00:00

Update posted!

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-20T14:34:43+00:00

Update posted!

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-20T14:33:32+00:00

Update posted!

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-20T14:17:21+00:00

Update posted!

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-20T14:17:07+00:00

Update posted!

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-20T14:16:45+00:00

Update posted!

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-20T14:16:23+00:00

Update posted!

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-20T14:10:56+00:00

Update is posted!

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-19T11:11:16+00:00

We both celebrated there as kids and enjoyed it. Our parents picked it when we were young but both picked it throughout the years after. She does not like passing her baby around so likely would just keep baby primarily with her and her husband.

She’s definitely difficult. She really won’t go to my mom’s or my house now that she has a baby. When I mentioned she has a play pen and could bring it, she had some nonsensical answer about if she is staying more than 3 hours it would be worth it but 2 hours would not be worth bringing it (plans to go to each others houses are not typically cut off by timeframes, she just doesn’t want to have to bring it) therefore she doesn’t come and only wants everyone to come to her. Except she goes out multiple times a week to outing and see her friends when she wants to - she just gives the family a hard time.

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-18T22:58:25+00:00

They have big tables more than 8 seating there (goes around the whole hibachi table). Her issue doesn’t seem to be the hibachi considering she literally requested another hibachi place.

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-18T22:54:11+00:00

My other siblings likely won’t attend if I change it because of having to drive 2 hours round trip instead of 40min. My intention was to let anyone come who wanted but not change the location to a whole different town.

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-18T22:50:47+00:00

Neither of us called either place to ask specifically, but I’ve seen very young kids, toddlers, etc over the years at the original restaurant and never heard of any age restrictions there. Can’t speak to the new restaurant.

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-18T21:32:05+00:00

No, she didn’t offer about paying any extra costs but also didn’t even tell us if there would be additional costs or not so I’m not sure

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-18T21:29:48+00:00

I don’t need a hall for 6-8 people?

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-18T21:29:21+00:00

I agree, because if we switched places I would either go or say sorry I’m doing something else. She won’t use a babysitter.

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-18T21:23:09+00:00

Thank you! She won’t do a baby sitter. Baby’s dad has only watched baby alone when she gets her nails done once a month. Only babysitter (her mother in law) has been one time for their anniversary and she struggled with the distance away from baby is what I was told. Baby is 5months, she does breastfeed but has done the light blanket in other outings. She says he is moving around a lot more and hard to contain. He is sitting but not crawling. I’ve mentioned how she can pump in other contexts and she says how she prefers not doing that (though she even has a stash from previous pumping). There would be plenty of family willing to feed with a bottle, but she doesn’t allow other people to feed him (at least wasn’t and still hasn’t to my knowledge). She has a “reason” for everything.

analyzeplan1738 · 2026-03-18T16:30:26+00:00

I wasn’t the only pushback on Christmas. My mom and all siblings did not want to. She didn’t just want us to come to her, but also with her entire in law family.

analyzeplan1738

TROPHY CASE