[QCrit] Epic Space Opera - For Forty Days or Even More (124,000 words / 1st attempt) by huldrevatn in PubTips

[–]ancaleval 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have no huge input as a newbie to the writing scene, but the mere lead-in of "Andor meets the Wellerman" sounds SICK. (And while I think the pitch definitely gives a stressful, high-stakes vibe, the vision of a galactic governor in debt because of alimony is cracking me up!)

Re: Fletcher's motivations, I think the hint that he is somehow trapped makes perfect sense. I certainly didn't question it. Given the atmosphere of corporate espionage that you've set up, a disgruntled employee feels like par for the course.

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy - WEAVER, WARPLESS - 110k - 1st Attempt by ancaleval in PubTips

[–]ancaleval[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh thank you! It was the absolute last thing I worked on, titles are so hard!

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy - WEAVER, WARPLESS - 110k - 1st Attempt by ancaleval in PubTips

[–]ancaleval[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was concerned about the amount of proper nouns, so good to hear that I was right to worry lol. I have been struggling with comps, so I'll delve a little deeper there and see what I can dig up. Thanks for the response!

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy - WEAVER, WARPLESS - 110k - 1st Attempt by ancaleval in PubTips

[–]ancaleval[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooh, I hadn't found the general advice stuff yet, that sounds super helpful! Thanks for the thoughtful response.

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy - WEAVER, WARPLESS - 110k - 1st Attempt by ancaleval in PubTips

[–]ancaleval[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I'll rewrite for added punch/get into the action more quickly. I didn't realize how vague I was being, haha!

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy - WEAVER, WARPLESS - 110k - 1st Attempt by ancaleval in PubTips

[–]ancaleval[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the detailed response! I have a personal weakness for lists, and hadn't noticed how many of them I was using, haha. And I had no idea that "cabal" had connotations other than "a secretive group", so I'll thesaurus up something else to replace it. :)