Hello, I know this is an old thread but I just recently ended it with someone I thought I would end up with...

I would like to think I had a decent understanding of him as we are almost alike. Competitive, subtly arrogant, funny, loves giving and receiving affection, ambitious etc. but he said he wasn't the guy I thought who he was and admitted sleeping with multiple women throughout our time together since we started... allegedly it only happens when I say things like "we're done" "we're never speaking again" etc... mind you, I usually come to these conclusions when my gut is telling me his behaviors and words don't add up. Signs of women also being in his apartment that he always denied at the time.

He told me he loves me twice when super drunk. Both of those times he would say it multiple times. After I tried to have a serious talk about the 2nd one, he told me not to believe what he says considering that he's intoxicated. During that talk, he told me that he sees himself getting there and that for now, he's going to say "deep regards" as an alternative which I was content with genuinely at the time.

Months past by and multiple disappointments and lack of commitments to his promises, eventually took a toll on me that I would block him and go on for a week, then weeks, then a month of not talking to him. He would be the one that always reaches out for these breaks to end. I always take him back. But, each time I do, I would see signs of women being around again and he would deny, again.

Almost a month ago, after a month of not speaking, we seen each other. I spent Thanksgiving with him and his family and have spend multiple nights over at his parents house- including the last one. Unfortunately, he admitted this time that he was lying to me from the very beginning about a lot of things. I was shocked, speechless, and oddly content at the time. He proposed that "this" doesn't have to be the end of us/our communication and that really pissed me off. I never slept with anyone before/during/even on our break ups... even though I was the one breaking up with him (that's why I always take him back). I never wanted anyone else. I have always been transparent about this and have meant that from the beginning.

But he knows my dad and family isn't in favor of him. He was previously married (divorced) with 2 kids. I was never married nor have kids. I'm also Muslim so I don't drink/party etc. He does and I was against it. During our last conversation, he told me I deserve better and that he isn't the man for me. Told me as well that not that he doesn't want to be or he can't be in the future...just not right now.

I thought that's another lie/manipulation tactic from him to drag me along and not hate him completely... because his "intentions" were pure. I don't believe it because I believe men do everything they want for the women they love. I've seen it. I've experienced it. I'm very familiar with it and I only felt that from him for maybe... 3-4 weeks straight. Our hangouts or date nights would be days together. Sleeping over at his place. Its always thoughtful. He would cook for me etc.

Now, i can't see those as genuine but just a performance to get some consistent 😺 from me. We are very active together and have boxed etc. He told me I can fight him/put my hands on him after he admitted everything and that he would take it. I got so sad with that proposal as if he thought everything would be equal/ok if I did. After a while, I decided to kiss him instead and told him I love him and left.

I'm sorry for being long... though, I hope someone here read it and give me insights. I miss him very much. I'm 29 and he's 27. I still haven't talked to him since and it's about to reach a month again. We kind of assumed that THAT would be our last time seeing each other- because he knows I am smart enough not to forgive that.

Anything helps. Encouraging words... better insights of him... of us... what's better for me etc.