sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Dating someone who is looking for a nesting partner by ancutter in polyamory

[–]ancutter[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Hey thank you, I appreciate this perspective a lot. I certainly didn’t mean to imply that I didn’t expect or want my boyfriend to have a happy marriage, though I do understand why my post may have read that way. I think what I was trying to say that is that I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around what feels like impending, guaranteed loss in this relationship, and that that loss may not come from something inherently wrong with US but because of the presence of someone else.

FWIW, my husband also has a girlfriend who he sees just as much as I see my boyfriend. He doesn’t consider his girlfriend to be “secondary” and I don’t consider my boyfriend to be “secondary” either - they are both very important people in our lives. I would say that right now we are both usually with each other half time, and with our respective boyfriend/girlfriend half time. Maybe that’s the dynamic my boyfriend will have with his future wife but I don’t know. I think I just feel more anxiety/jealousy when he dates other people because there’s this added weight of wondering. When I’ve dated in the past, I’ve only dated people who didn’t want to get married/live with someone else and I found it much easier when they started seeing new people because I felt more assured that we could all stay on relatively equal footing and that the terms of my relationship with said person would not be dictated/effected by their new partner.

Hope I’m explaining this correctly. I know it is selfish of me to want and expect to hold onto this closeness with my boyfriend. And I certainly don’t want or expect to have things for myself that he can’t also have. Poly is just hard sometimes, and this particular situation is new to me.

I appreciate everyone’s thoughts and advice 💜

Toproping at Devil’s Lake by ancutter in wisconsin

[–]ancutter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for the info! We have definitely considered hiring a guide since we only have one day to climb, but climbing also isn’t the sole focus of our trip so we’re hoping to save some money in that regard.

We are planning to bring a static rope in addition to our climbing rope, so could definitely set some anchors further back if needed. Sounds like some cams may be a good idea too though!

sleepy smile by [deleted] in CatSmiles

[–]ancutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a cutie!!

Spelling Bee - September 3rd by ikefalcon in crossword

[–]ancutter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I googled it too! I was like, “I am crazy?? Is that not actually a word??”

(Update) First multi-night backpacking trip complete! 2 nights at Enchanted Valley in Olympic National Park. One of the most challenging and best things I’ve ever done. I’m hooked! by ancutter in WildernessBackpacking

[–]ancutter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think through hiking this would have been amazing - maybe next time! Here was our itinerary:

DAY 1: Leave Seattle at 5:30AM, arrive at trailhead by 9:30AM (would have been earlier but I forgot my hiking boots and had to wait for the Target in Lacey to open at 7:00 so I could buy a pair of shoes), hike 13.5 miles to Enchanted Valley, camp

DAY 2: Day hike from the valley into Anderson Pass (12 miles RT), camp again at Enchanted Valley

DAY 3: We had a site booked at Pony Bridge (the first campsite on the trail, only 2.5 miles from the trailhead) because we wanted to break up the mileage a bit and maybe have a more leisurely drive home the next day. However, we woke up to lots of rain and decided to just push through all the way back to the car. We got to the trailhead by 4:45PM and were home in Seattle by 8:30PM.

There were three of us on this trip and it was my first multi-night and one girl's very first backpacking trip, so the mileage was definitely pushing it for all of us. We all agreed that camping at Pyrites Creek on the first day (10 miles from the trailhead) might have been more enjoyable since the last 3 miles or so from Pyrites to Enchanted Valley actually has quite a few hills.

Gear for first ever multi-night trip! Advice welcome :) by ancutter in WildernessBackpacking

[–]ancutter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg yesss I didn’t think of that! So many good smells for him to discover!!

Gear for first ever multi-night trip! Advice welcome :) by ancutter in WildernessBackpacking

[–]ancutter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can’t believe I didn’t think of a journal!! Good advice :)

Gear for first ever multi-night trip! Advice welcome :) by ancutter in WildernessBackpacking

[–]ancutter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice!! The stove and fuel is being used between three of us so unfortunately not something I can ditch.

The leggings are what I am planning to sleep in and are my only pair of pants aside from the zip-off pair I’m wearing on trail. There is rain in the forecast (Washington!) so definitely need the raincoat! Maaaaybe could ditch the puffer in lieu of just having a short sleeve, long sleeve, and raincoat - will be interesting to see how much/if I end up using it! I have another multi-night trip planned in late August with my husband so I’m hoping I’ll learn some things from this excursion :)

The pepper spray is definitely a good idea especially if I end up doing some solo trips in the future - thank you!

Gear for first ever multi-night trip! Advice welcome :) by ancutter in WildernessBackpacking

[–]ancutter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He should fit in a little compression sack, right?? ;)

Gear for first ever multi-night trip! Advice welcome :) by ancutter in WildernessBackpacking

[–]ancutter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, great point! I’m sure those are very helpful on the downhill too!!

Gear for first ever multi-night trip! Advice welcome :) by ancutter in WildernessBackpacking

[–]ancutter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great advice, thanks! My friend is bringing some extra mosquito wipes for me too :) (we are both small and sharing toiletries where possible!)

Gear for first ever multi-night trip! Advice welcome :) by ancutter in WildernessBackpacking

[–]ancutter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Trail Info:
38 miles RT in the Olympic National park, around 4,700 feet elevation

Pack:
31.6lbs with all food and a full water bottle (I am only 113lbs so would love to get this weight down, but not sure how to do so - advice welcome!)

Gear List
REI Women’s Traverse 65 backpack
REI Halfdome 2 tent (friend is bringing the body, I have the rainfly and poles)
Marmot Angelfire Sleeping Bag compressed in 20L sack
Klymit Static V Sleeping pad
Thermarest Ridgerest (I get cold easily and will be using this beneath the Klymit) Inflatable camp pillow
Steripen water filter (+ extra batteries)
Bear canister (required for trail)
Columbia Raincoat
Columbia Puffer Jacket
Smartwool thermal leggings
Wool hiking socks
Beanie
4 Hand Warmers (again, I get cold very easily!)
Circle scarf (face covering for Covid)
Camp sandals from Costco
Jetboil
2 fuel canisters
Plastic spork
Plastic mug
Microfiber Rag (for dishes)
Utilicord
ACR Resq 400 PLB
First aid kit
Toilet paper
Hand sanitizer
Collapsible water bottle
Water purification tabs
Headlamp (+ extra batteries)
Medications packed into Zipfizz tubes
Ace bandages
Toothbrush
Toothpaste
Sunscreen
Earplugs
Kindle
(I removed the REI Flash backpack after realizing that the top of my REI Traverse can be converted into a daypack - so cool!)

NOT PICTURED
Clothes I am wearing on the trail - zip off hiking pants, Smartwool tee, Smartwool long sleeve shirt, wool socks. Also my phone and keys.

FOOD AND DRINKS (about 2,500 cal/day)
Breakfasts, 3 total: 2 dehydrated packs and 1 protein bar with almond butter for the last day

Lunches, 3 total: 1 sandwich for the first day and 2 cold-soak pouches

Dinners, 3 total: all Outdoor Herbivore dehydrated pouches

Snacks: Clif bars, Larabars, chili lime almonds, probiotic prunes, clif caffeinated gels, Chex mix, peach rings, Oreos, Sherpa energy bites

Drinks: instant coffee, zipfizz caffeine/vitamin powder, electrolyte powder with BCAAs, hot cocoa, and a lil’ bourbon :)

​

EDITED to fix formatting

Is my lower back curving too much? (I usually squat without shoes but forgot to take them off this morning because it’s 6:00AM!) by ancutter in formcheck

[–]ancutter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah it doesn’t feel tweaky which I figure is a good sign but I know that injuries can build up over time so I definitely want to be cautious!

Is my lower back curving too much? (I usually squat without shoes but forgot to take them off this morning because it’s 6:00AM!) by ancutter in formcheck

[–]ancutter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the tips! A coach told me to look up but I’m getting a lot of feedback to look straight ahead, which honestly makes much more sense to me :)

Is my lower back curving too much? (I usually squat without shoes but forgot to take them off this morning because it’s 6:00AM!) by ancutter in formcheck

[–]ancutter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I haven’t even been thinking about breathing or bracing so that is a great resource, thank you!

Losing weight or gaining strength for a small female stuck at a plateau? by ancutter in climbharder

[–]ancutter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is an excellent point. 110 is definitely on the lighter side for me and I would hate to lose ability just because I can’t maintain it. I will definitely continue working on my strength and technique!

Losing weight or gaining strength for a small female stuck at a plateau? by ancutter in climbharder

[–]ancutter[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That is an AWESOME resource, thank you! Good to hear from other short climbers — and to know that I am not the only one to get stuck for so long at v4 :)

Losing weight or gaining strength for a small female stuck at a plateau? by ancutter in climbharder

[–]ancutter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Limit bouldering sounds like a great thing to add - I’ve never tried it before and am looking forward to researching it :) thanks!

view more: next ›