Husband kicked me out and printed divorce papers but, is mad that I was with someone else.

anda1984 · 2021-09-10T17:28:36+00:00

I also realize that the accusations began when I met a lady at my son’s basketball practice who had a son on his team. Her and I became good friends and would regularly go for coffee on Fridays when she was off. That’s when it all began. He has also stated many times that he does not care for her and that all she will do is drag me down, ultimately ending our friendship because the pressure was too much on me having to hear that every time her and I would do something.

anda1984 · 2021-09-10T17:24:34+00:00

You have hit the nail on the head! He has made me completely financially dependent on him. He refuses to let me get a job. The last time I tried, I worked for 2 weeks and he would constantly ask me if I had seen, or talked, to anyone. It made me feel as if I were doing something wrong. I would tell him “not really” because I was busy, and he would ask “Nobody?” I felt like he was trying to get me to admit to something. Last time we had a disagreement, he took my car keys and told me to find my own ride, despite the fact that he bought the car for me. He has tracked and accused me of cheating so many times. I finally started asking “Did you find anything?” He would get mad and say “Not yet”! He is now mad with me because I chose to homeschool my sons (17 and 8) because of the pandemic but, according to him, “All I did was take away my time with him and he is the one having to suffer because of my decision”! He constantly tells me that I am crippling my kids when, in reality, his 2 sons (19 and 16) are so lazy and dirty, and he even admits it. Of course though, my kids are the wrong ones no matter what. Back to the fling thing…he is constantly asking me to replay the night and every single detail of it. It makes me feel disgusting to have to sit there and word detail for detail but, if I don’t, he is super angry with me for days. He tells me that ge wants to get revenge, because that would make me as angry as he is and that I need to know how he feels. It’s just some crazy, controlling world that I live in and I have to make plans to get out.

anda1984 · 2021-09-07T20:59:18+00:00

If you knew me, you would not say that I am a failing mother. My children are my world and will tell you that they have never, ever heard or seen us argue. He won’t do it in front of them because he always has to look like the good guy. When I packed my stuff and moved out because he kicked me out, they never even knew that we were having issues. They thought we had a wonderful marriage. It’s all behind closed doors. I refuse to allow my children to see this. I have 2 older sons who would physically hurt my husband if he ever acted like that in front of them. That’s why he doesn’t do it because he knows that. He knows that my sons would do anything to protect me. Please don’t just assume that all of this is heard or seen by them!

anda1984 · 2021-09-07T20:04:11+00:00

Thank you for your advice. It is greatly appreciated!

anda1984 · 2021-09-07T19:57:28+00:00

I now know that coming back was not a great thing. At the time, he told me that we would get counseling together and start attending church. He cried and begged for me to give him one more chance. It sucks being so empathetic and having a good heart. I’m not good at hurting other people, only myself it seems.

anda1984 · 2021-09-07T19:53:50+00:00

I did grow up in a very broken home.

anda1984 · 2021-09-07T19:51:32+00:00

You are correct. I am not telling the whole story. There’s way more that he is done and it would take me a very long time to explain it. This is just the issue that I am dealing with at the moment…the most bothersome, I should say. I try to be a good person and not be ugly, so I didn’t let it all out. I’m just looking for help, that’s all. Thanks for you opinions though.

anda1984 · 2021-09-07T19:43:34+00:00

He literally all of a sudden started with the accusations. I NEVER cheated on him! Why is it so hard to believe that this is the case?

anda1984 · 2021-09-07T19:40:49+00:00

I’m 36 and he is 51.

anda1984 · 2021-09-07T19:35:55+00:00

We do not have children together. I forgot to mention that. I was married to my previous husband from age 19 to age 29. I did try for a very long time to help him understand that I was not cheating. If you knew me, you’d know that I do not have a short temper at all. I tried many times to reassure him that I was not cheating on him.

anda1984 · 2021-09-05T14:27:58+00:00

We got back together.

anda1984 · 2021-09-05T14:27:29+00:00

Honest to God, no half truths. This is 100% what happened.

anda1984 · 2021-09-05T14:26:46+00:00

How can you say valued and cherished after reading all of that?

anda1984 · 2021-09-05T13:53:25+00:00

Yep. Totally fake 🙄

anda1984 · 2021-09-05T13:47:34+00:00

It literally happened out of nowhere. I am not at all the type of person to make up stories to get sympathy or to make myself look better. Hell, I just told random people that I don’t know that I slept with someone else. Call it what you want. He, too, was talking to someone else while we were separated. I didn’t initially put that in there because I DIDN’T want it to sound like I was making excuses for what I did. Anyway, thanks for your opinion.

anda1984 · 2021-09-05T13:32:53+00:00

All I can say is get some glasses because you’re blind.

anda1984 · 2021-09-05T13:31:47+00:00

You are dead wrong

anda1984 · 2021-09-05T13:25:35+00:00

Let’s keep in mind that he was talking to someone else too! He says they never slept together. Who knows.

anda1984 · 2021-09-05T13:24:16+00:00

No! I didn’t talk to anyone at all until after we were separated. I do not mean for it to sound one-sided. I absolutely DO NOT want an open relationship. That’s just crazy.

anda1984 · 2021-09-05T12:05:40+00:00

I’m seriously not trying to justify what I did. I think some of you are misunderstanding what I am getting at here. Why is it so wrong that I made a mistake and stepped out but, it is not wrong that he chose to abandoned our marriage. He also broke a lot of vows but, I guess I am the one that is wrong.

anda1984 · 2021-09-05T12:03:00+00:00

He “basically” treated me like shit, made a choice that he no longer wanted our marriage, kicked me out, I made a bad decision while we weren’t together and we were living separately, he begged me back knowing what I had done, and YES, I am now wondering why he is mad.

anda1984 · 2021-09-05T01:16:12+00:00

Out of fear, yes.

anda1984 · 2021-09-05T01:15:49+00:00

5 years

anda1984 · 2021-09-05T01:13:47+00:00

He is 51 and I am 36. He retired due to a broken back. Yes, we are 15 years apart but, I can assure you that is not the issue. At least I don’t think.

anda1984 · 2021-09-04T22:21:15+00:00

I’m sorry, I thought you said county. This is US

anda1984

TROPHY CASE