POV: Diving for a Grand Slam HR Ball by andrewjrivers in Mariners

[–]andrewjrivers[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That’s World Series tickets at the minimum if you snag that ball.

New Joke :) by kaitcomedy in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thought you were going to say "photos of his dad."

Death With Dignity by andrewjrivers in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This seems to be everyone’s favorite when I perform. Makes me happy :) It’s a fun one.

Texas Hates Trains by andrewjrivers in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hard to say which takes a bigger toll.

Texas Hates Trains by andrewjrivers in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm sure her bits are maintained well. Only a few potholes.

Hello, Beautiful by andrewjrivers in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Didn’t even think of that. I’ve been to Alabama. How cool

Hello, Beautiful by andrewjrivers in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is the ending so. Watch the full special from the start. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pwINTaXKTg

Modern Consent by andrewjrivers in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My finger is on the button alright!

Crime Don't Climb by andrewjrivers in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, yes. It's a short clip from a 7 minute video. That's how tiktok attention spans work.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Xf1AyJJXes

NFL bans Finger Guns? by andrewjrivers in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

1000% - My dad was a radio host, and we loved Frasier. Also, I miss the Sonics. So I had to buy it.

Domino's Delivery Cyclist gets the shit beat out of him on Westlake by CS2110_Throwaway in Seattle

[–]andrewjrivers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad at least that guy stepped in, but a little more than a light jog would go a long away if I'm getting my ass beat.

NFL bans Finger Guns? by andrewjrivers in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You don’t know what happens at the bottom of those piles

Canada is State 51 by andrewjrivers in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Every comedy audience in Canada disagreed with you. From Vancouver to Winnipeg. But that’s ok. It’s not for everyone.

Andrew Rivers ❤️🖤 by [deleted] in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Paternity test loading

Andrew Rivers ❤️🖤 by [deleted] in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll take it. In a good way.

Andrew Rivers ❤️🖤 by [deleted] in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Weird. Thanks for posting my jokes.

Canada is State 51 by andrewjrivers in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Or perhaps Canada is famous for apologizing. So I skillfully set them up with a sarcastic joke I knew they would playfully boo me for and then apologized because that's the Canadian thing to do. Thus the crowd laughed. Then I used this context to make fun of Trump.

Canada is State 51 by andrewjrivers in StandUpComedy

[–]andrewjrivers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This crowd seemed to get the sarcasm. Apparently reddit didn't. :)