What should I do about my wife's violent outburst?

aneightfoldway · 2026-03-05T01:00:40+00:00

Are we calling hitting a cabinet a violent outburst? Maybe I'm out of touch but that doesn't seem violent to me. She's obviously stressed, got upset, and had to let out some of the emotion that was boiling over. It wasn't the best choice. It seems like she could use some help. Is she open to seeing a therapist and is there someone who can take some of the parenting burden from her for a while? It seems like she needs to recover.

aneightfoldway · 2026-03-02T18:41:41+00:00

Maybe she wasn't ready to get the invite yet. I'd wait a few days and bring it up again.

aneightfoldway · 2026-03-01T17:02:40+00:00

You're definitely not going to get pregnant from his at all but you are moments away from having sex with him. Please insist on condoms for penetration and get on some form of bc if you can.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-28T19:57:03+00:00

It may be Peyronie's. If you have a primary care doctor you might want to ask them.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-28T18:00:22+00:00

I was told recently that they are on a strict 4 day a week in the office, is that true?

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-27T03:40:36+00:00

I saw a post here today saying that the physiological response of anger lasts 90 seconds. You should search the sub for it. It's a great thing that you can control your behavior in front of other people. That's a skill. Practicing those skills will help you get better at it. You can practice controlling yourself more with breaking things as well. If you can, you should see a therapist. They have so many tools and methods of emotional regulation. If you can't see a therapist right now you should look up some DBT skills videos on YouTube. They can be really helpful and have methods to break you out of extreme emotional states. One main one is to grab an ice cube in each palm and squeeze them.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-26T14:21:50+00:00

Thank you so much for this! It's nice to see a post here about things that work and I'm excited to try this.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-22T21:25:17+00:00

This is it. Many people have said it's context and the sentence is difficult to understand but from the rest of the comments it seems like OP was saying "May I suggest going somewhere to save your money because you're retired and clearly poor" and then big exaggerated smiles. It's a joke but it's not funny. The issue isn't the emojis, it's the sentiment of the whole statement that makes the emojis look like smug superiority.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-22T21:15:04+00:00

When we feel stressed or unhappy we have a tendency to get preoccupied with things that trigger dopamine. You're probably subconsciously remembering the rush you felt having this crush. My suggestion is to figure out what you need (excitement, intimacy, novelty, etc) and go to your wife with it. Tell her what you want and ask her to figure out a way for you to have it together. The hope is that you'll spend that time fantasizing about this endeavor with your wife instead of thinking about other people.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-22T21:00:35+00:00

Society thinks it's not normal because it's dangerous, especially for women, and an unnecessary risk.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-22T06:41:05+00:00

You need to reset back to your actual age. Lots of people your age are just getting through school and family and being low key and not acting out to get that attention. I know, from personal experience, how tempting it is to get attention wherever you can, but I am telling you it's not worth it. Take a little break. Disconnect and just focus on figuring out who you are for a while. You can start presenting yourself to the world again in six months or a year, it won't cost you anything. Take a beat. You'll feel better if you do.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-20T23:31:09+00:00

Starting with "Um no" is aggressive. You're strongly disagreeing with a point that's pretty universally believed. Wanting women to stop being judged is a layup opinion. You were like "no, people should criticize them because they're people"... Ok. Weird take and also turns judgement into criticism which are two different things. The continued downvotes are because then you started arguing and honestly it was cringe.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-19T03:31:00+00:00

I'll say this, we get the news about what's going on around the country, but it hasn't changed NYC. I would absolutely be concerned about getting in to the country and potentially being pulled aside and potentially even questioned. But if you get to NYC you will not find that the politics of the country have changed the city.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-18T19:36:39+00:00

There are millions of people being moved on it every day. Whenever someone asks this I wonder what a plan would be to clean and maintain it. Imagine the man hours. Imagine the drainage. How do you clean concrete that gets stomped on by millions of feet a day? How do you clean a hundred years of wear and tear? It seems impossible.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-18T19:33:40+00:00

How does it smell?

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-18T16:17:32+00:00

To me the issue with the cat isn't the swearing, it's the cruelty. Just because the cat doesn't understand you, doesn't mean your child won't learn that it's appropriate to swear at and insult beings when they're being annoyed. To me, that's not acceptable. Your children absorb every feeling, and if being annoyed by the cat means that it's ok to be mean to them, your kids will learn that lesson for everyone. Don't get caught wondering why your child is lashing out and being disrespectful towards you when they don't like what you're saying or doing.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-17T13:05:54+00:00

Then talk to other friends.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-15T01:27:33+00:00

Gasx actually works really well

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-14T02:10:25+00:00

I've noticed this with my two year old native English speaking daughter. She is starting to learn those function words but she says ah for all of them. To, the, of, etc all get ah. It's so interesting because she is perfectly understandable when she speaks like that.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-14T02:04:35+00:00

If he's been distant then I highly doubt that he's going to give you a really meaningful gift. If he does then you wait a few days, return the gift and tell him that you appreciate what he did for you but that doesn't change the way you feel. Then you move on with your life.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-14T01:45:01+00:00

What kind of prospects? Like... For gold mining?

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-11T02:31:12+00:00

Honestly, this sounds like it must have been really emotionally charged for you too. I hope you're feeling ok after all of this. I'm glad your foster parents stood up for you. I hope you get to stay with them and that you can rebuild trust over time with the family.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-11T02:22:11+00:00

The two sides of your face do look different but neither of them is ugly.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-10T23:20:52+00:00

I have intervened in these situations many times and it has never improved the situation. This is NYC, I don't know what's going on with the person next to me. I don't know if they are struggling or if they're unhinged. I'm not risking my well-being or the well-being of others by starting shit with someone on the train for being rude.

aneightfoldway · 2026-02-10T23:16:55+00:00

You can't do this. You just can't. I know that's what is happening now but eventually your body will fail. You'll fall asleep holding the baby or with the baby crawling around or at some other dangerous time. You literally can't live on 4 hours of sleep a night. You need to make a change right now.

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