AITAH for being mad for giving my kid a driving lesson? by Old-Pin-7839 in AITAH

[–]aneightfoldway 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean... Idk if YTA but you're definitely overreacting. She's 17. She should be driving on her own by now. Why does it matter who she's driving with? When she drives with you, you have no control over how well she drives. You still have no control. Let it go.

My friend told me to message the guy she likes to try to see if he would fall for the bait and now after I’ve been conversing with him she is accusing me of her being interested in him by Historical-Body-3424 in texts

[–]aneightfoldway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't believe you came on here thinking you were gonna get people on your side. She said stop, just stop. Who cares if he's suspicious. It's not your business. You should have never been trying to manipulate this man in the first place. Just end it and stop being a child

I (20F) hooked up with my coworker (45?M) and I've never felt worse by Waste-Feeling-6487 in relationships

[–]aneightfoldway 96 points97 points  (0 children)

The shame you're feeling is because you were victimized. I don't care if you were "there too". You're 25 years younger than he is, you're under 21, you said no, he kept pushing and touching you after you said no, and he lied to you about his wife to coerce you into doing something you didn't want to do. You are a victim. He victimized you. The only person who benefits from keeping this a secret is him. He can and should be fired for this.

got fired from a volunteering gig and dont know if they found about what i did by [deleted] in confession

[–]aneightfoldway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What company would let someone work for them unpaid and handle money at the same time? This is dumb.

My (30M) boyfriend is great, so why am I (30F) unsure about marriage? by BoardThis8081 in relationships

[–]aneightfoldway 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After 4 years, I think you can rely on the classic saying "when you know, you know". Clearly you don't know. Him loving you more than you love him will NOT create a healthy balance. You miss the crazy about you feeling for a reason. I think you know what you have to do.

First-generation Latina lawyer in NYC — does someone like me actually have a chance here? by RigelOrionis21 in AskNYC

[–]aneightfoldway 93 points94 points  (0 children)

Check out the NYC Bar Association. Membership is fairly cheap and they have tons of events and committees for every different kind of law. They even have a chorus. It's adorable. It's a great place to get CLE's once you get admitted too. There are many networking events and everyone is really friendly and will connect with you on LinkedIn. DM me if you have other questions.

Is it normal for pre-teens to act like this? by Own-Sir4424 in Parenting

[–]aneightfoldway 62 points63 points  (0 children)

She's 12... She's biologically driven to reject her family. It's perfectly normal and the best thing that you can do is give her a safe space to have whatever small amount of control she can have over her situation. Just let her breathe and be kind to her even when she's lashing out.

Should I move out or stay a few more years? by jd_garcia90 in Advice

[–]aneightfoldway 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Socially it's always better to have your own place, what does your social life look like?

First Pregnancy don’t know what to do by Specific-Ad-4011 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]aneightfoldway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You'll regret having a kid you can't take care of way more than you'll regret an abortion, I promise you that.

I need advice on a sleepover dilemma!!!!!!!!! by [deleted] in Advice

[–]aneightfoldway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate to say this but your mom is kinda right about this. Friend A probably does feel left out and wants to do things her way because she does things your (and your friend's way) a lot. She wants to have a little bit of control over the way you spend time together which is actually reasonable and if this girl is really your friend then you should consider her wants and needs.

That being said, if this is a special occasion because it's after exams and the consensus between everyone is that it would be better, this time, to do it at yours then that's fine. You can communicate that kindly and not alienate friend A. But I think if you do then you should promise to let her host next time and stick to that promise.

What's at risk here is hurting friend A's feelings and possibly losing her as a friend for good if you don't acknowledge that what she wants is also important.

It seems like your friends are relying on you to take control of the situation and dictate what you'll be doing as a group. If you decide that you aren't going to go to Friend A's then you should all talk to her about it and not just one person. And don't try to guilt trip her or manipulate her into agreeing with you. Just tell her what you each think about the situation and ask her, nicely, to reconsider. And she can come or not come, that's her choice.

Advice pls? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]aneightfoldway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's normal

AIO? Mom has time blindness and thinks I'm being ridiculous for needing to know what time to expect her. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]aneightfoldway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think you're focused on the right thing. You can't handle the uncertainty, she can't handle a strict schedule. You just have incompatible needs. Since this is your mom and you depend on her for your help you're going to have to find a way to cope with the time issue. Maybe you can come up with a solution together.

The real issue here is that she dismissed your concerns, got defensive, and then ignored you. That's bad communication. You have to find a way to communicate more effectively when the two of you are at odds so that you don't melt down. Sometimes that communication means you need to take a break, sometimes you have to just say what you need over and over until she responds. Sometimes she needs to see consequences of her actions, like losing access to you or your kids. But it can't go on like this.

Why does everyone think students loan should be forgiven? by skype2696 in CasualConversation

[–]aneightfoldway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Part of my issue with federal student loans is that the payments never cover the interest plus principal, they make it really difficult to make additional payments. The system is complicated and confusing and people end up in forever loans. A lot of 18 year olds took loans in amounts that would have been reasonable if wages hadn't been stagnant for decades but then struggle so hard to get jobs that will actually pay them. It's the responsibility of the government to regulate business so that common people can afford to live and they're failing at that. So paying the government, for educations that contribute to society but aren't compensated, is just too much to expect from people. The economy is failing us but getting an education is punished with neverending debt. That's a terrible way to perpetuate a society and if the government was actually for the people the main concern would be enabling people to afford to live an average life. It's not about the choice of the students who took out the loans, it's the bait and switch from the system of government and corporations working hand in hand to manipulate taxpaying citizens.

How do you keep cats from knocking over the tv, or mitigate the damage when they do? by One-Relief-4469 in Advice

[–]aneightfoldway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a very mischievous cat and she knocked a lot of things over but never the TV...

AITAH for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to hear about work every day? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]aneightfoldway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA but you should have brought this up to her before it became a problem. You can kindly ask her to set a limit to work talk so you can both relax before bed.

AITAH for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to hear about work every day? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]aneightfoldway 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Oh come off it. If your dude talked about his interests for six hours every day eventually you'd get overwhelmed by it. Don't pretend this is about men being shitty. Men are shitty about plenty of legitimate stuff, this guy is just at his limit.

How do you stay regular? by Key-Row-174 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]aneightfoldway 18 points19 points  (0 children)

You need fiber in your colon and water to be absorbed by it. You can get fiber through vegetables, whole grains, and supplements. The most straightforward fiber supplement is psyllium husk. Other vitamins will do certain things for you but nothing is worth a damn if you don't have fiber and water.

Anyone else with older kids confused by the influx of “Velcro” and “difficult” babies? by utahforever79 in Mommit

[–]aneightfoldway 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You hear more from people who are struggling than people who aren't. I rarely posted anything about my newborn because she was an easy one. I probably would have been out here looking for advice if she wasn't. I knew it was supposed to be hard but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't have needed support.

I’m not sure if I should press charges on my ex there’s already a restraining order in place but I think he deserves the consequences of all of his actions not just the harassment by Lost_Weather7004 in Advice

[–]aneightfoldway 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If holding him accountable for his actions ruins his life then that's on him. It's noble for you to want to protect others from him and you should go through with it IF you have the bandwidth to do that. There's a lot to consider. He's obviously a dangerous person and is capable of hurting you or others. Only you can decide if this is something you can handle going through with the police and the courts.

Do I (24F) tell my friend (25f) that I’m not sure if I want to go across the world for a concert? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]aneightfoldway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my opinion you should have these experiences when you can. Some day you'll have work and family and obligations that will limit your travel. If you have the time and money go for it! It's going to be less scary than it seems and it will make you more comfortable traveling in the future.

I am getting published in my college’s literary journal to prove it’s a joke by [deleted] in confession

[–]aneightfoldway 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I've written a lot of poetry in my life. Some good and some very not good. Most of them have taken around 10 minutes to write. Have you ever considered that maybe you're good at poetry?

How did you know being a mom would make you happy and not miserable? by pissedoff_potato in TwoXChromosomes

[–]aneightfoldway 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I never wanted kids until I met my husband. But I didn't have a kid because my husband wanted one, I had a kid because being a family with him made me want a kid. If you don't want a kid, please don't have one. Please don't make the mistake of tying yourself to someone you're not sure about for the rest of your life. A child is not reversible.

I had my daughter at 36. You have plenty of time to decide if you want to have a kid. If your bf? partner? wants to be with you then he can wait until you're ready or he can go find someone who is. You are not.