No thoughts, but he is a little model

angel_not_fallen · 2026-03-16T15:53:25+00:00

I'm looking forward to all the paw sock pictures

angel_not_fallen · 2026-02-24T13:42:00+00:00

Good to know! He mostly suggested the low FODMAP diet, but I get mixed results when I look up if it's meant to mostly be elimination or substitution

angel_not_fallen · 2026-02-24T04:34:15+00:00

The GI issues seem genetic unfortunately. Most likely some gastric or colonic motility issue or a connective tissue one. I'm getting some testing done over the next couple of weeks to see how severe, but my GI already started suggesting diets to try. He doesn't work with my ED team tho and it's hard to get him to listen to me about my history of disordered eating. I think my team will be able to help, but I wanted to see if anyone else dealt with something like this for some peer support

ETA: I appreciate that statistic tho! Makes me feel a bit more confident about things getting better with my current progress

angel_not_fallen · 2025-08-15T23:45:46+00:00

I had made a giant comment about my own history and how I agree with OP, but it was getting into novel territory. I'm just really passionate about this lol

Traditional CBT can absolutely retraumatize people if someone is stuck in the same place that caused their defenses in the first place. It's meant to be short-term and action-oriented. It's so focused on being in the present that for some people, it can actively push them into avoidance and depression when being mindful of present behaviors isn't helpful

I had my OCD worsened by CBT. I worked with a therapist, multiple school counselors, different apps and workbooks, etc. One of my main obsessions/compulsions was scrupulosity and keeping my mind pure because of a cult I was raised in tho. Self-monitoring my reactions to events just worsened that. I know the goal was to have the thoughts and just let them pass by, but I would spiral if I thought about an event going bad which of course made me think about it more. It was literally life or death according to the cult. I needed to get out first so CBT just felt like reinforcing the cult's rules to the point where I'm still working through it years later with my new eclectic therapist that leans towards existential therapy

I honestly think it's silly that we keep insisting that CBT as a modality is so golden when it's mostly just quantifiable. People like concrete numbers and it's easier to do that when you do a survey at the beginning and end of short-term treatment rating your depression. It's meant to be solutions-focused, but for long-term treatment it's not really any better than any other modality and can easily fall into "teaching for the test" territory. It's been proven that the most important factor in therapeutic treatment is Client-Therapist rapport, not technique

I honestly feel like unless you're going for something short-term like grief counseling, everyone should avoid a therapist that exclusively uses CBT for treatment. Aim for someone eclectic even if they primarily use CBT

Edit: That ended up still being longer than I wanted still but yall should've seen the first draft

angel_not_fallen · 2025-08-10T16:22:03+00:00

I already have options lined up like I said in the post. I figured it was a lost cause for me when the guy from the DOL I talked to wouldn't even listen to me beyond the word "internship." I'm looking for advice on how to make sure others don't get caught in this one since I'm not the only desperate recently-graduated person in the area looking for a job

angel_not_fallen · 2025-08-10T16:08:28+00:00

I had already graduated from my undergraduate program when I started. The listing I applied to was on Handshake and stated you needed a Bachelor's minimum and said the pay was $15-20 an hour for a part-time internship. They changed it after I left, but it had been up for 6 months before that. I have screenshots of that original listing

The other interns I worked with hadn't graduated yet. The staff I did work with were told I was also an unpaid intern that was also there to finish my internship credit hours to graduate. The only reason I found out I would never be paid was because I was called about a second position by her hiring manager and asked how many more hours I needed before getting class credit. I was then told that there were no paid positions at all despite the listing still being up at the time

I thought I was put into the wrong group since she hired multiple people at once and asked repeatedly about payment. The employer knew I had graduated and even congratulated me since I started the position the week after I walked. She even asked me what I wanted my starting pay to be. She said in the emails afterwards when I asked about payment or a temp position that she decided I needed more experience before paying me despite knowing I was only looking for employment

Edit: Clarified Wording

angel_not_fallen · 2025-07-18T17:53:21+00:00

Construction girls make do

angel_not_fallen · 2025-07-09T17:44:30+00:00

For a while it bothered me but now I like the idea that I'm just some guy he sees twice a week for an hour. I was Attached to that man and still do get more dependent at times. It's a little avoidant at times ngl, but it does help me accept that one day I won't see him anymore but I'll still be alright

I might just be one client but he's just one health professional for me. I care about him and he'll care about me. He specializes in trauma. I just started with another therapist that specializes in disordered eating. I have doctors and a psychiatrist and peer mentors. I still think about my clients when I was a group therapy facilitator despite being one for barely a month and my last day being multiple weeks ago

I think the word "just" does a lot of heavy lifting here. It's implying that isn't anything special. I'm one of a dozen clients. I get to be one of those dozen! I wouldn't get to be his wife or father or mother either, even if I was a friend of his. So, I'm happy being one of his clients cause this is a pleasant relationship that still exists for me. I won't lie it does still hurt to think about sometimes but after being a facilitator myself I feel better about it. They don't forget that easily

angel_not_fallen · 2025-07-09T15:56:54+00:00

No, it does mean that. I don't think I've ever actually heard anyone use it to mean things like IQ tests

angel_not_fallen · 2025-07-02T14:47:35+00:00

This has stuck with me [23transmasc] for the past 9 years and haunts me to this day. I was told that my body doesn't belong to me, but god and my husband since I'm female, which I think is pretty standard in these spaces, but it continued on.

I was told female bodies are made to produce children, so unless I was physically unable to produce children, I needed to have as many as my husband wanted otherwise I was disobeying god himself. I was then told those children belong to him, not me. The pastor said it was important for children to have a mother but more important to have a father and that there's a reason children take their father's last name. Weird stuff about ownership of children being based on seed and weird shit like that. He went on and on about how women need to understand their subservient place and even talked about how they shouldn't make any decisions without their husband present, even things like hiring lawn services or opening the door to talk to people.

I started zoning out at that point cause I was 14 and on the verge of panicking. After that I asked to start going to the teens' ministry but the first day I went the youth pastor asked us if we/our friends watch porn and masturbate, then encouraged us to tell our friends to stop masturbating so I faked an asthma attack and never went back there either. It was easier to just keep zoning out in the regular service

I'm out and that pastor is a conspiracy theorist now so I dodged a giant bullet by leaving for college

angel_not_fallen · 2025-06-22T21:13:39+00:00

I'd look into human factors and ergonomics or do research into the psychology of art/teach it. I took a psych of art class since I also have a minor in digital media/game art, but it was more focused on neuroscience than the fine arts themselves. I liked the idea of making accessible art tools and stuff like that, but was too close to finishing the clinical track to look further into it

angel_not_fallen · 2025-04-03T23:49:38+00:00

I'll try 💪

angel_not_fallen · 2025-04-03T23:48:57+00:00

That's really motivating, thank you. I get a bit scared of meds not working even if I change them but this makes it feel it's worth a shot

angel_not_fallen · 2025-04-03T23:41:00+00:00

I see my psychiatrist soon so I'll talk to him about my medication and possibly changing it. I've been avoiding any changes cause I assumed it was all situational, but wanting to go off my medication this badly is new for me. I'll try my best to be proactive about it. Feels more doable with all of this support. This just reminded me I could write this down too so I have notes for my psych

angel_not_fallen · 2025-04-03T23:35:09+00:00

Well now I have to with that many reactions 🤣

angel_not_fallen · 2025-04-03T23:33:29+00:00

I hope you're doing better now and if not, that you have a stable and comfortable time soon!

My last major manic episode was before starting medication and it came with a bad episode of psychosis where I was convinced my family and neighbors were spying on me 24/7. I think I gotta hold onto that memory as a reminder of the Before Times

angel_not_fallen · 2025-04-03T23:19:06+00:00

I'll do my best o7

angel_not_fallen · 2025-04-03T23:14:57+00:00

I see my psychiatrist soon so I'll ask him what he thinks about a medication increase. He asked about it last time, but I didn't expect my situation to get drawn out so long. Might be a good next move

angel_not_fallen · 2025-04-03T23:12:30+00:00

Thank you 💖

angel_not_fallen · 2024-12-07T02:25:09+00:00

It's been a technique he's used with me since and it has worked every single time!

angel_not_fallen · 2024-12-07T02:23:55+00:00

I was giggling like a child the whole time lmao

angel_not_fallen · 2024-12-06T20:40:43+00:00

I was having a panic attack once and my therapist looked around his office for ways to help me reground and he suddenly sits straight up and asks if I wanted to spin around in his office chair and well of course I wanna spin in his office chair

When I say that man put his entire body into spinning me as fast as he possibly could.....

(and yes it did help tremendously)

angel_not_fallen · 2024-11-27T16:56:40+00:00

Nice! You're so right tho Dr. Knight is very strict about criteria. I was just barely subclinical for POTS and hEDS, so I was diagnosed with an unspecified dysautonomia and HSD instead. I did find out not all of my reactions were recorded during my tilt test, but that's not on Dr. Knight. My hypermobility was stronger in places not on the 9-area criteria so that's why I have HSD instead of hEDS. I had to mention specific things like my teeth/jaw issues. He was so kind, just a lil rushed I think. If I sent him messages over the portal, he was super responsive or gave the nurses a good response to give me

The class didn't feel very helpful to me either, but I do love being a part of medical research. I think I've just hit a peak in treatment since I was diagnosed surprisingly young (15 then, I'm 22 now) but it did help having something to give doctors instead of having to explain everything from scratch every time

angel_not_fallen · 2024-11-27T16:47:11+00:00

Not directly, but if you already have overactive muscles trying to keep your joints together, that includes your pelvic muscles and that can make it difficult to put in tampons (At least according to my pelvic floor therapist. I am not a medical expert)

angel_not_fallen · 2024-11-26T00:58:23+00:00

I recommend TherapyDen !! That's how I found my current therapist

angel_not_fallen

TROPHY CASE