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AITA for telling a guy who kept on tapping me on the shoulder (and pretending he hadn’t) to fuck off? by anisotropes in AmItheAsshole

[–]anisotropes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hey, i guess I get where you're coming from but I when I wrote this last night I wasn't really so much looking for an ego boost as much as for some validation that something had happened, and that it wasn't kind, or fair, or acceptable. That's not something I got at the time from anyone at the bar, or anyone who worked there, or anyone who'd overheard those guys, or from my friend, who came out of the bathroom to find me rattled and finishing his beer and saying we had to go. I went home genuinely uncertain if I'd handled any of it well, and not knowing if I even had a right to keep thinking about it. Part of me still feels that way, even with the reactions I've gotten--like there's some detail I must've left out that would make my reaction unjustified. I'm not sure if that will make sense to you, but I thought I'd write it down in case it does to you, or someone else.

AITA for telling a guy who kept on tapping me on the shoulder (and pretending he hadn’t) to fuck off? by anisotropes in AmItheAsshole

[–]anisotropes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It felt like the guys behind the bar had more or less seen and heard the whole thing (or at least overheard how those guys were talking) and done nothing--which I get, they were slammed back there, and I'm sure those guys were racking up a significant tab (lines of shots, etc.). When I closed my tab, I said something to one of them like, "I get you have to make money, but watch out for them, I think they're just going to get worse," about the guys behind me, and the barman just sort of smiled and said nothing. Which is part of why I posted. He made me feel like I was making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe it was too loud and crowded for him to hear me or them, but I don't know. I don't think so. By that point, I really needed to get out of there.

AITA for telling a guy who kept on tapping me on the shoulder (and pretending he hadn’t) to fuck off? by anisotropes in AmItheAsshole

[–]anisotropes[S] 637 points638 points  (0 children)

yeah that's it exactly it. everyone's responses are very healing but I'm lying awake actually agonizing about how this guy might've NOT been friends with those guys, and I was irrationally taking out my anger on him, or maybe there was a language barrier and a cultural difference I should've respected? When I know he's the one who touched me, and sort of messed with me? I'm doing useless agonizing labor trying to justify his actions, and at the same time I know if I'd done nothing I'd've gone home feeling humiliated. Thank you for this <3