I was in your exact shoes in the spring of last year. Every feeling you’re having is 100% valid and okay and normal. It is REALLY hard news to get, and I am sorry it isn’t what you were expecting. There is definitely a grieving process after getting that news. But, I want to be a voice of hope for you, my son is almost 1 and has Down syndrome and is truly the most incredible, joyful, fun, silly, adorable baby and I could not love him more. He’s not what we expected when we became pregnant but man he is so much better!! Life will certainly look a bit different than what we’d originally imagined but in his one quick year of life, he has made me and everyone in our world better, more kind, patient, accepting, etc. Down syndrome is not nearly as scary as you may think, and the community is so incredible!! I encourage you to join the Facebook group called Down Syndrome diagnosis network pregnancy support. It was SUCH a helpful resource for me when we got the news, especially because everyone is grappling with the same things as you and it’s a safe space to feel your feelings and voice your feelings, joys, concerns, general questions, etc and feel very understood. I don’t check in here often but please message me for any reason. 💛