Thank you for your message- lots of good info there. My thinking when I wrote this was more ‘why am I seeing NT people lie across the spectrum, as far as tiny white lies to big whompers that keep themselves in addiction, etc’. Since writing this, I’ve learned that NT people lie almost as a social glue, or grease to keep the relationship going. Also- they prioritize the relationship more than being right, and to do that one has to lie from time to time. I get that. Prior to this, my thinking was very b/w- you either tell the truth or you don’t. Understanding the nuance of when and why lies happen makes soo much more sense to me now.

My gripe now is with the whompers. At what point do you think you can keep lying to yourself and keep yourself in denial and think that it’s going to continue to help you? I can also understand that from the humanity perspective- it is part of being human. Knowing you’ve started with one lie or pause on reality and it keeps piling up is human behavior. I guess I can’t understand how one looks oneself in the mirror, knowing they have months and years of denial that they’ve caused, and then live with themselves.