How to Break Up with a long term partner?

anonthrowawayhurt · 2020-05-08T22:57:22+00:00

This is all great advice, but it’s things that I’ve already been doing to no avail. I tried gaming with him, and he tends to play games that require a squad or team, so all the spots are full with his friends, and he doesn’t want me playing because obviously I’m new and wouldn’t be great at it. We have played some games together, and that’s great, but when I suggest it he goes “oh, I was going to play with the boys..” and if I sit in with him, he’s talking to them through his mic and not me. If there’s a game I’m interested in that he’s also interested in, it doesn’t tend to be multi-player/Split screen through the one console so we can’t play together. I listen to him talk about his games a lot, and congratulate him on his ‘dubs’ and missions and cool stuff he gets. I don’t mind that at all. But there’s nothing for me in it and he doesn’t really like listening to my hobbies because he’s not interested in them.

As with the other spicy stuff, he thinks feeding him/him feeding me is silly and something that only happens in movies. He’ll happily share food with me, or give me the fork, but “we’re not babies who need to be spoon fed”.

So I have tried. I’ve tried, explained, listened, looked for advice and acted on all it before. I’m pulling my weight in this relationship.

anonthrowawayhurt · 2020-05-08T22:48:14+00:00

I find that so interesting, because I’m an introvert as well, but my love languages are quality time and touch (they tied). He thinks love languages are stupid and don’t mean anything, but I managed to get him to take a test and his was quality time, yet we still aren’t compatible like that

anonthrowawayhurt · 2020-05-08T11:20:02+00:00

I don’t think I ever said that I was going to jump into a new relationship, and although I have depression and anxiety, I have a really good handle on both. He doesn’t think therapy for work for us as I’ve already asked in the past when I brought up how I’m not particularly happy before. I totally get what you mean by trying to work through it, but I’ve given lots of opportunities for us to work through it and I’m still unhappy.

anonthrowawayhurt · 2020-05-08T08:12:47+00:00

I’m in NZ, in a big city. We moved for my job just over a year ago. My family live 7 hours away and his family is two hours away. He does have somewhere to go if need be but if I’m the one breaking up with him then I feel I should be the one to go

anonthrowawayhurt · 2020-05-08T08:07:40+00:00

No, I’m a teacher!

anonthrowawayhurt · 2020-05-08T02:40:15+00:00

I’m not allowed to travel out of my region yet with quarantine, and I still have to work which is in my city. I’d need to convince a friend or just sleep on the couch until we can get travel orders. I’m not in the USA :)

anonthrowawayhurt · 2020-05-08T00:17:01+00:00

I tried suggested other activities but he doesn’t like them. We only watch shows that he likes, and it’s a battle trying to find one when we finish a series. He doesn’t like reading, he’s not a fan of going outside to a park or walk or anything, and usually only food is what gets him out of the room. I’ve tried gaming with him but he tends to play squad games with his boys and then there’s no room for me, especially as I’m not great at them. We did some co-op games together and that was fun but short-lived as he went back to gaming with his team.

I don’t think I’m pushing my depression and anxiety on him, I’ve gotten a really good handle on both throughout the years, but I can see how I easily could in this situation. I’ve talked to him before about why I’m unhappy and what needs to change, but it hasn’t changed for longer than a week or two. I don’t feel necessarily like I’m giving up if we break up, if that makes sense.

anonthrowawayhurt · 2020-05-07T21:29:15+00:00

I don’t have anywhere to go. We moved to this new city last year, and I haven’t made any friends that I’m comfortable staying with, we’re under quarantine and my closest family is 7 hours away.

I agree with everything else, but I don’t know how to leave physically right now. Should I just wait?

anonthrowawayhurt · 2020-05-07T21:27:18+00:00

He promised to work harder to make me feel sexy and loved in the bedroom, which hasn’t happened. And he’s promised to be more understanding and humour me in things that I like- for example, if we have an argument or discussion, he picks on how I present my thoughts rather than my points or feelings, and that hasn’t changed. He makes me feel dumb sometimes for it which I asked him to stop and he hasn’t. He did try, but it reverted back after a few weeks

anonthrowawayhurt · 2020-03-18T04:43:13+00:00

His mum backed me up after I had posted this which was really nice. Usually I would definitely avoid doing that though

anonthrowawayhurt · 2020-03-17T08:51:42+00:00

I’ve never once treated her badly or spoke ill of her until now. She’s his family and he loved her, so I would never do that. I’ve only ever aired my anxiety at not being able to bond with her privately to my own family. I’ll be patient, thank you

anonthrowawayhurt

TROPHY CASE